Everyone around you transitions too

[Denise]

I owe a life debt to my sister and a few others.  As I've posted before my sister is my voice of reason and my barometer of life.

I went to see her last week and we talked a lot.  One thing we talked about was pronouns and how hard it is to get them right.  I get it.  Honestly, I suck at getting them right.  Just ask my trans friends, they will confirm.

But one thing we talked about was those people around me transition too.  The mind set of considering me to be a guy (I was never a dude) was deep and long rooted.  But, to my surprise, everyone else got the finish line way before me.

I'm only now just automatically responding to Denise and miss/ma'am.  But harder is NOT responding to sir or my old pronouns.

Basically everyone else transitioned faster than I did and I've asked and they all just consider me female/Denise. It's weird.  I'm wondering if everyone kinda suspected something was different before I came out.

Has anyone else experienced this?

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[randim]

Somehow that does not seem at all surprising to me.  You have more invested in your gender identity than anyone else, by orders of magnitude.  You have had a much harder adjustment internally that anyone else around you because it does down to the very foundations of your sense of self. 

[KathyLauren]

I see this with myself.  I have no trouble experiencing myself as female, but I am the worst for misgendering myself when I speak.  Just about everyone else gets my pronouns right, but I mess up more than they do. 

Not that I refer to myself in the third person a lot, but occasionally I'll say to the dog something like, "Dad has to put on his ... oops ... her shoes."  The dog knows that I am "Dad", and I didn't want to confuse her by changing it, but I might have to change it so as not to confuse my inner grammarian!   

[HappyMoni]

I tend to do very well with others and myself. Only once at the doctor's office did I start to say my dead name. I will confess that after 2 1/2 years full time, if I refer to myself as a girl or woman to others, there is still a part of me that waits to see if anyone will object. If I refer to myself as Moni, Queen of the Nile, it doesn't seem to happen though. lol

[Rachel]

Hi Denise, when I hear someone else called with my dead name I turn my head. Some day I hope to just keep going.

It took me a little while to adjust to writing my new name on a debit card receipt. I have it down now but it took me thinking about it for a little while.

I had a long time with the old name and gender assigned to me; I think I have done extremely well considering.

[Denise]

I was leaving a video message for me niece earlier and said "hi, this is Uncle (dead name)..." Cancel try again.

I realized I had never put Aunt Denise in a sentence.  My friend Patti laughed "you really do suck at pronouns don't you." We laughed and I started again.

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[Patti]

I was leaving a video message for me niece earlier and said "hi, this is Uncle (dead name)..." Cancel try again.

I realized I had never put Aunt Denise in a sentence.  My friend Patti laughed "you really do suck at pronouns don't you." We laughed and I started again.

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Nothing like dead naming oneself


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