Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?

[ChrissyRyan]

Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?   Why is it that many people think we need to somehow "fix ourselves" so our gender conforms to the biological sex assigned to us at the time of our birth?  They must be thinking we are doing something wrong.

We just want to live our lives in our correct gender and bodies, expressing ourselves in our correct gender.  What is so wrong about that?   

Just ask these unaccepting people if they were forced to live their lives in the incorrect gender for them, could they even imagine that?  Of course not.  So why are they thinking we should be living our lives in the incorrect gender for us?


Chrissy

[Colleen_definitely]

Perspective. They don't experience this therefore it can't affect any "normal" person.

[Dani]

For whatever reason, right or wrong, they feel threatened.

It should make no difference to anyone whether we are trans or not, unless a trans person is involved in a close personal relationship. Then, and only then, being up front and completely honest is absolutely essential.

[AnamethatstartswithE]

It's multiple things, a fair amount of it is fear of the unknown.

I'm prefacing what I'm about to say by noting that I am not a professional psychologist, but I am an amateur psychologist.

In psychology there is a concept called "need for cognitive closure" which basically means that we need answers to questions about the world around us. We all have a certain level of this need, but for some people it is cranked up to a very high level. People like this will take the first explanation they find that comports with what they've already learned, and will not change their minds no matter how much evidence there is. People who exhibit bigoted behavior tend to score very high on need for cognitive closure measurements. Organized religions offer easy answers to life's questions, so these people tend to be very attracted to religions, most of which are anti-LGBT.

For some people they simply can't understand why you would want to change your body. They find the idea of a feminine AFAB taking testosterone and masculinizing to seem wrong, the same for an AMAB individual feminizing. Though what's interesting is that that very discomfort is our dysphoria.

For some it's a challenge to their sense of identity, this is common amongst TERFs.

There's also some status anxiety, the idea that a group they consider subhuman being thought of as equals feels like a loss for them. These are the people who really really have to defend calling us "abnormal"

I'm sure there are others, but these are the main ones I see as I masochistically read comment threads on trans related news articles.

[Moonflower]

Chrissy, I love your questions.

The first answer that comes to my mind is that they are unaccepting of trans people because of whatever they learned about trans people ... which means that we have some re-education to do, if they're open to it.

[warlockmaker]

I chose to live a peaceful normal life in Bangkok where being whatever is accepted. That being said there are always groups that hate another group be it tgs, immigrants, rich people, etc. So we are just normal. Alot has to do with religion, we are buddhist and it is not a religion but a way of life. If someone does not harm us then live and let live. Compared to many Western countries where deep hated for us is rooted in the Christian, Judism and Islam faiths. Also, in Thailand we may not have the laws that protect us but we have the support of the majority in society. We achieved this through consideration and respect and winning their hearts through doing good deeds an example that could be followed by a very agressive and demanding tg commity in the west. Agression breeds agression and hate, kindness and consideration wins friends and support

[sarahc]

I think it depends on the person...different people are unaccepting for different reasons:

1) "It's a sin" - there are some people who just think it's morally wrong to be transgender because God said so. Even if in fact their God didn't say so.

2) "I'm embarrassed being around you" - there's a lot of people who think it doesn't look good to be associated with transgender people for either social or commercial reasons.

3) "I'm not comfortable being around you" - other people just feel weirded out being around transgender people because they are not comfortable with "alternative lifestyles" in general. (I think this is different from #2, but it's very similar.)

4) "You transitioning just makes me sad / mad" - this particularly applies to family members (especially parents) who don't want the transitioner's birth gender to disappear because of emotional attachment reasons.

5) "I like making fun of persecuted people." - These are the jerks who just love taunting people because they can.

6) "I get political power by appearing to persecute transgender people." - Basically applies to politicians trying to appeal to the above five groups of people.

7) "This wasn't the marriage / long-term relationship I signed up for." - Applies to spouses / partners.

I think that covers the vast majority of cases. Any others?

[SonadoraXVX]

Because
1) there uneducated about the topic.
2) there closed minded about it.

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[ChrissyRyan]

I do know that some non-trans females think that we as mtfs enjoyed male privilege while stuck in the male life, and although we are women, we lived as males with that privilege.  That does not sit well with some non-trans feminists.  I can understand that perspective.  Even if we say we never wanted that privilege, nor consciously exploited it, it was given to us in most societies.

However, I wish these cis-feminists would be more accepting.  But I wish everyone was more accepting of us transsexual people.

Chrissy

[ChrissyRyan]

You all have made some good points.   Thank you for sharing them.
There will be more posted soon by others, as we have lots of bright and thoughtful women here.

Chrissy

[sarahc]

I do know that some non-trans females think that we as mtfs enjoyed male privilege while stuck in the male life, and although we are women, we lived as males with that privilege.  That does not sit well with some non-trans feminists.  I can understand that perspective.  Even if we say we never wanted that privilege, nor consciously exploited it, it was given to us in most societies.

However, I wish these cis-feminists would be more accepting.  But I wish everyone was more accepting of transsexual people.

Chrissy

Yeah - I don't understand that one at all - why would you shun people who are embracing the positivity of being a woman? You see the same attitude of not accepting transgender women among some lesbians. (Side note...part of the reason my mom doesn't think it's a good idea for me to transition is because she thinks being a woman in society stinks, and she thinks I don't really understand that.)

I think at the end of the day, there are a lot of people who like to judge others, and those judging types get emotional value from forming tight tribes and deciding who is and who isn't fit to join the tribe.

Sarah

[dee82]

Lots of good reasons so far.

One reason that I don't think has been mentioned above, is that some people are deeply unhappy with themself.

This may be "psychobabble", but I think seeing a transgender person challenges their own gender identity too much and it is easier to lash out at the person who is "living the dream" than to face their own internal issues.

~Dee.

[ChrissyRyan]

I think that some people are unaccepting because they think that we as mtf transsexuals must have some severe mental illness, as they believe that there is something very wrong or abnormal when someone born with male genitalia thinks "he" is woman.  Or the other way around for ftms.

So in their minds, it is best to shun us or even criticize us transsexuals.   

Chrissy

[Lisa89125]

Chrissy, Thank you for asking the toughest questions. There is no simple answer though sadly. We're hated for several reasons. Most of them involve outdated models of thinking. Some involve Religion and being taught anything outside the gray box of normal is just plain wrong. This stupid box was created by people because of fear. The problem though is if everyone thought along those lines the world would not be what it is today. It's the outside of the box thinkers that have lead the way making the world we now have come to enjoy.

Lisa

[ChrissyRyan]

Yeah - I don't understand that one at all - why would you shun people who are embracing the positivity of being a woman? You see the same attitude of not accepting transgender women among some lesbians. (Side note...part of the reason my mom doesn't think it's a good idea for me to transition is because she thinks being a woman in society stinks, and she thinks I don't really understand that.)

I think at the end of the day, there are a lot of people who like to judge others, and those judging types get emotional value from forming tight tribes and deciding who is and who isn't fit to join the tribe.

Sarah

Well, yes, we are embracing womanhood but that does not give us mtfs a "get out of jail card" from some non-trans feminists as we as mtfs did or still are living our lives as men and have the benefits of male privilege.  I understand this perspective but it cannot be fully appreciated unless you or I are on the other side (living as a women full time) and have experienced some of the consequences of living in a society with male privilege in force.

These consequences may be what your mother is referring to.

I do think it is important to listen and try to understand the perspective of others, as it can build common ground and helps one appreciate diversity of thought, which is quite important.  You do not have to totally agree of course with these other perspectives but you keep an open mind and this can lead to some insights. 

Chrissy

[Kirsteneklund7]

I chose to live a peaceful normal life in Bangkok where being whatever is accepted. That being said there are always groups that hate another group be it tgs, immigrants, rich people, etc. So we are just normal. Alot has to do with religion, we are buddhist and it is not a religion but a way of life. If someone does not harm us then live and let live. Compared to many Western countries where deep hated for us is rooted in the Christian, Judism and Islam faiths. Also, in Thailand we may not have the laws that protect us but we have the support of the majority in society. We achieved this through consideration and respect and winning their hearts through doing good deeds an example that could be followed by a very agressive and demanding tg commity in the west. Agression breeds agression and hate, kindness and consideration wins friends and support

I have personally travelled extensively in Asian countries including Thailand. I think any typical Westener of european descent(like me) can benefit greatly by living for some time in Asia, particularly Buddhist countries.

I really do think a lot of damage has been done to our transgender image by aggressive  activists pushing their world revolves around me agendas.

The vast majority of us are just normal people doing the best we can with the cards we got dealt. IE misaligned gender.

I cant help but agree with Warlockmakers sentiment.

Kind regards, Kirsten.

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[Devlyn]

"Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?"

I really don't think they are. Most people accept us just fine. Are you sure you aren't experiencing the societal conditioning that teaches us that only bad news IS news?

Hugs, Devlyn

[sarahc]

Well, yes, we are embracing womanhood but that does not give us mtfs a "get out of jail card" from some non-trans feminists as we as mtfs did or still are living our lives as men and have the benefits of male privilege.  I understand this perspective but it cannot be fully appreciated unless you or I are on the other side (living as a women full time) and have experienced some of the consequences of living in a society with male privilege in force.

These consequences may be what your mother is referring to.

I do think it is important to listen and try to understand the perspective of others, as it can build common ground and helps one appreciate diversity of thought, which is quite important.  You do not have to totally agree of course with these other perspectives but you keep an open mind and this can lead to some insights. 

Chrissy

You're completely right, Chrissy. We really don't understand what women have gone through until we walk many moons in their shoes. And I think we should be humble.

Sarah

[Marcie237]

Why are many people unaccepting of transsexual people?   Why is it that many people think we need to somehow "fix ourselves" so our gender conforms to the biological sex assigned to us at the time of our birth?  They must be thinking we are doing something wrong.

We just want to live our lives in our correct gender and bodies, expressing ourselves in our correct gender.  What is so wrong about that?   

Just ask these unaccepting people if they were forced to live their lives in the incorrect gender for them, could they even imagine that?  Of course not.  So why are they thinking we should be living our lives in the incorrect gender for us?


Chrissy

It scares the living ... out of themselves - it would force them to look at themselves but for many folks this is the very last thing they want to do.  You can take a person to catharsis, but you cannot make them like/want it!   . 

don't worry about it. let it pass through you and be gone...  I am reminded of a litany by (often misogynist imho) Frank Herbert in the book Dune by the Bene Gesserit sisterhood:
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

This is easy if you've learned Jacobson Relaxation technique.

Some folks are like that and hold on to their fears fervently.
Let it/them go.

[Allison S]

People have assumptions of what a man and woman are. It' somewhat based on looks, but not always... I think my crooked nose, sloped forehead, curly/frizzy short hair, height, large frame, and voice all combined gives people a reason to feel a need to say I'm a "man".
Some will see me as a crossdresser or trans.
I never had male privilege either. I think I just experience queer and now trans discrimination.

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