Hello! I'm autistic ("official" diagnosis pending on time, money, and safety concerns) and went back and forth on whether I was nonbinary multiple times throughout my social transition. At first, I thought I was genderfluid, but
definitely not a man. Then, I realized I
was a trans man, and I thought that meant I couldn't be nonbinary. Finally, I realized I could be both a transitioning trans man
and nonbinary—a demi-man, specifically.
At no point in this process, since realizing I wanted to transition, did I regret my decision. Not when starting T, not when getting top surgery, and not when researching and pursuing options for bottom surgery. I'm more open to change than a lot of autistic people I know (not that it doesn't stress me out, or make me second guess myself). I acclimate more quickly when the change "feels right," I guess.
Despite this, I panicked on and off before my top surgery, fearing the change would be too much for me. And now, lying down without a 5 lb weight on my chest two and a half weeks post-op, I can barely remember what it felt like having them. Like, if I concentrate I can, but it feels as foreign as imagining two water balloons taped to my chest.
You're the only person who can know, decide, and come to terms with the trials and tribulations of transitioning. But from one AFAB, nonbinary, autistic person to another, I've never been happier in my life. Don't be afraid to trust yourself
and trust the supportive professionals who want you to be the best person you can be.
Also, contact a gender therapist in your area if you can; doubly so if they have experience with autism (like my first therapist did, a marriage and family therapist who specialized in both autism and gender therapy). I'm not sure I'd be as comfortable with my gender, or my autism, if I didn't have her help. A good gender therapist won't discount your identity because you're autistic.
- Alexander
P.S. I have a hunch (based on a lot of reading, and a lot of first and second-hand experience) that autism has a strong correlation with gender nonconformity and being transgender.
Not that it makes you "think" you are, but that it genuinely increases the likelihood of gender variance in the brain/during development. Food for thought; I'd scrounge up some (reliable, scientific) sources, but I'm still foggy from anesthesia/general surgery recovery, and I've already typed a lot today.