Where can I use a preferred name?

[meatwagon]

Getting my legal name changed will take some time, so I would like to know if there are any things that are safe to use my preferred name on in the meantime.  I tried looking it up online, but wasn't able to get any relevant results.  I am in NC, for anything state specific.  I know I can usually use my preferred name for jobs, and I can ask my doctors to use it when addressing me (though they won't put it on any actual paperwork), but is there anything else?  Especially if there is any sort of paperwork involved.

[Arianna Valentine]

Getting my legal name changed will take some time, so I would like to know if there are any things that are safe to use my preferred name on in the meantime.  I tried looking it up online, but wasn't able to get any relevant results.  I am in NC, for anything state specific.  I know I can usually use my preferred name for jobs, and I can ask my doctors to use it when addressing me (though they won't put it on any actual paperwork), but is there anything else?  Especially if there is any sort of paperwork involved.

Well I know with your doctor you can ask them to put in your charts that you would rather be referred to as your preferred name and they will do it they just have to keep your legal name and their files as well because of insurance and billing

[Maddie]

I read the gist of your question as seeking more serious info than this, but here is what comes to my not-so-experienced mind:

A letter came today from my health clinic, and they have my legal name at the top of the page, but then use my preferred name as the greeting just below that.

When possible, I like to use my preferred name for some rewards program cards at convenience and department stores.

Don't forget to drop your preferred name the next time you're asked for one at Burger King or whatever food pickup counter you find yourself at. 

Regardless of the implications of regular fast-fooding, it is a small thrill for me to hear them call my preferred name out loud in a crowded place   

My new preferred name is "Number 313?...313?..Small fries, shake n nuggets..?"

[Kendra]

I tell restaurants my name is Donner.

"Donner party of four"

[Quinn]

I shop online all the time and always when to time to pay and check out , fill out my information and shipping page with my preferred Name. only need to use birth name for credit card information.
But when the package ariives at the door it has my preferred name on it. Now also because of this starting to receive mail and offers in my prefereed name.

[TonyaW]

Before my legal name change I used my initials when possible as those were staying the same. Don't know if that's an option for you.

There were a few places that would use preferred name before that, doctor, dentist, health club even, and anyone I gave it to, Burger King, Starbucks, Arbys I remember.

I tell restaurants my name is Donner.

"Donner party of four"

Does the number in the party shrink the longer you have to wait?



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[sarah1972]

Most doctors I have accepted my chosen name. They even have a field in their system for "preferred name". To be honest, more and more systems now have it. Most recent surprise: Delta Airlines allows for a preferred name. Microsoft does in a lot of places. I have used it on several online portals and online shopping recently. In some cases, it is just worth checking as it was with Delta.

Even my work allows me to use my preferred name. It took a while to get everything sorted out, last year they sent my W2 under my preferred name and had to change it afterward. Work usually depends on the employer, but if they are LGBT friendly, they allow for a preferred name. And they once booked travel under my preferred name and gender which of course had to be fixed. All of my customers have changed their systems to Sarah and I have several customer ID cards with Sarah on it, this usually happened during renewal and when I had my picture updated. In some places, they have a copy of my real ID since they require some sort of background check. One other area work get's tricky is if I have to go to a customer where I don't have an ID card, I need to make sure they set me up under my old name so I can get through security. But so far only minor hiccups.

Other places I use it: Uber, at the gym, in emails. Pretty much in my entire daily life unless it is anything legal, banking or insurance related. And travel of course - I have too many dependencies here for Global Entry, Nexus, TSA Pre. So I have to be really careful to make sure everything lines up. Uber was almost necessary since they could never find me with my profile being male while I look female. Social Media is also almost entirely Sarah these days.

Hugs,

Sarah

Getting my legal name changed will take some time, so I would like to know if there are any things that are safe to use my preferred name on in the meantime.  I tried looking it up online but wasn't able to get any relevant results.  I am in NC, for anything state specific.  I know I can usually use my preferred name for jobs, and I can ask my doctors to use it when addressing me (though they won't put it on any actual paperwork), but is there anything else?  Especially if there is any sort of paperwork involved.

[KathyLauren]

Especially if there is any sort of paperwork involved.

Anyone that wants paperwork from you is asking for a legal name change document. 

But lots of places keep their own records, and many of them have a place for preferred name.  When I went into my bank presenting as female but with male ID, they offered to enter a preferred name in my records.  That is how it usually works.  Preferred name is just an informal thing.  You can ask anyone whether they can record a preferred name for you.

[Linde]

I tell restaurants my name is Donner.

"Donner party of four"

I really like this one.  Do you bring a de-boning knife along?