Quote from: Jen61 on December 22, 2018, 11:33:04 AM
To kill myself. I know I will never have a successful transition. There are too many things against that. I wish I had the courage to end it all but am too afraid to do it. Another year is about to start and I don't want it to be the same old thing. I'm sick of losing time where I could be happy living as myself. I remember being 18 and saying next year will be the year. Now I'm 46 and..... Just a rant. No need for anyone to reply.
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Here is my post from another thread and it might help with your suicidal thoughts.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,234709.msg2177310.html#msg2177310Remember we here love and care about you. Now as to your remark about never having a successful transition. What is a successful transition? It's different for everyone here.
I'm 61 I started transitioning 2yrs ago and I would love to have bottom surgery BUT! I know it'll never happen. I weigh as of today 228 lbs but it's just fat and I can lose that.
I have a slightly deep voice and get called "Sir" all the time and when someone calls me "Sir" without really looking at me( say I was ordering a burger from a burger place) I say "I'm not a Sir.. I'm a Ma'am thank you" then I point to my boobs smiling like a cheshire cat.
I told one guy a few days ago who got smart with me that he would hate getting his a$$ kicked by a lady. He then looked up at me and saw I was a woman and he then apologised.
I'm not going to let that stop me from being happy.
Love
Bobbie LeAnn
