I'm on HRT, and though I really do desire to transition, I am afraid the road will be very long and slow.
My wife was very supportive at first, but then it became apparent she really didn't understand what my goals were. We had discussions at first about what HRT would do to my body, and she wasn't really too worried about it. But just last week she started asking questions like, "How do you plan on hiding your boobs when they get bigger?", "Aren't you worried that men's clothing won't fit right anymore?", and stuff like that.
This is when things got difficult. She was thinking I was simply going to have a feminine body, but continue living as a man and just hide it. I made it clear that I wasn't doing this just create yet another thing in my life to hide and be ashamed of. I wanted to live as the woman I am, body and clothing included. Super not cool with her. After 9 months of discussing HRT prior to starting, she had entirely missed what I had been trying to tell her.
Neither of us wants the marriage to end, but she is firm that she does not want to see me dressed as a woman or living as a woman.
We are at a deadlock on the issue and I have a feeling that I may need to keep my HRT dosage low for at least a couple of years while we work through all of this. The good thing is that I am experiencing great relief from gender dysphoria even on the low doses of spiro and estradiol that I was started on. The bad news is the HRT doesn't help with everything. I still have issues with genitals and other anatomical features and my voice. I still have to deal with those things every day. I also have the continual disappointment of knowing that full transition is out of reach at least for the short term.
