Reading all of your posts is fascinating to me; I want to reply to so many, but I don't think I have the time (or the energy, mentally) right now. So instead, I'll throw my two cents into the fountain of knowledge you've all shared with me.
I came out as a (terrified) bisexual kid at 11 or 12 years old. My gender, however I truly perceived it in that mentally foggy time, didn't factor into it. I like people, and am attracted to people, regardless of their gender. It was the only word I knew to describe what I felt at the time, and it was (and still is) an accurate label.
Then, I was pushed toward calling myself pansexual as the more "politically correct" or "transgender-inclusive" term a few years later. I was in a constant state of confusion on my early social media days, constantly learning and unlearning things about the LGBT community (not all of which were true, and some of which were downright malicious). The "inherent difference" between bi and pan, I later learned, was false; both bisexual people and pansexual people are capable of loving every gender under the sun, though not every bisexual person does.
Despite learning this, I didn't go back to using the term bisexual. First reason being, I strongly relate to the idea of being attracted to someone regardless of their gender, and that's not something every bisexual person feels. Second, after learning and seeing first-hand how the term "pansexual" has (sometimes) been used to exclude and other transgender people (as if they're less of a man, woman, or person), I want to reclaim it in some way. Third, I've been using it for over five years, and it feels weird to stop now.
More recently, I've also been referring to both my sexual orientation and gender identity as "queer," for the sake of simplicity. It feels like the best of all worlds for me, and if I don't want to explain further, I don't have to. No potential discourse about what "bi" means or "pan" means; if I say I'm queer, I'm just queer, and it's easier that way.
And before I go, I've also heard the "if you're FTM, that means you're straight, right?" comments from friends, family, and even total strangers. As if it boggles the mind that someone can be multiple parts of the acronym at once, or something. If I could, I'd direct them to my masculine-presenting, nonbinary spouse and ask "does this marriage look 'straight' to you?" 'Cause it sure doesn't look straight to me.
Alexander
