I had my bimonthly meting with my psychologist yesterday, and I brought up my ability to change my gender presentation without any type of dysphoria (as long as I don't craft my own failures with painted fingernails).
She asked me a lot of questions, etc, and one question was, when you are laying in bed in the morning, and have nothing to decide what to do during the day, as what would you dress? Me: as a woman of course! She: when you decide to dress as a man, why would you do this? Me: because I want to do things that are done better as a male! She: would you ever dress as a male be default? Me: no, the default is always female! She: so you say, you dress male if it is of some advantage to you? Me: yes!
After that she explained that I can do this, because I am so solidified in my femininity that going as male is nothing else but a costume I put on, and a kind of role play to make the world believe that I am a man. She is of the opinion that it does not create any dysphoria, because I left that point in my transition long ago, and that going as a guy to a auto parts store, is nothing else like putting some stuff on for a Halloween party. Being male is for me just dressing up in something that helps me to do things.
This makes kind of sense, because I started my journey about 16 or 15 years ago, and seemed to have lost the dysphoria about dressing up as man long ago already.
And here I thought I was a budding woman, and am told that I am nothing than an old hag already!
