Kind of taking this from a different direction but it has dawned on me lately.
So over my life I've kind of hung out with guy friends but those tended to be one off type deals. Like just 2 of us mainly.
Like in HS hung out with one friend then it's kind of split of a few of these over college and then same post college.
I just thought of this the other day and was wondering if any one else had that.
I'll describe these all as just guys hanging out but looking back maybe that wasn't always just that. Almost all of these relationships ended when the other guy found a girlfriend or eventually awife. Like they would just faded away. Looking back I know a few of them I wished I could be the girl they met. Like I could look like her or act like her or kiss like her or have sex like her etc.
Then lately it just hit me it was maybe because I was her until she showed up. I just didn't have the body parts to back it up.
Like I was the submissive one going along with whatever the other guys plans were most times. But I was also the responsible one making sure we got home ok and not drinking just in case my friend got drunk. Dealing with all life's issues. But also the one that took all that on like the organizing and such. Like we're heading to the beach today we should pack lunch and bring xyz. Like looking back I did that a lot. I never viewed it as the girl thing to do I just did it.
I didnt enter these relationships with the thought to pick up the guy. Like we just hit it off even if there was a larger group we were both in. There be time we're we'd go to a game or out to eat away from the larger group. But that would grow and grow. Like hey let's hit this restaunt tonight. I paid for my share and such but maybe I liked that date dynamic even if it wasn't viewed like that. These type deal would progress to like hey let's go on spring break, vacation, etc.
But I guess by the end in a way I'd fallen in love with the relationship if that makes any sense at all. Maybe not the guy per say... maybe only because I wasn't a woman. But if I knew then that I could've become the girl they wanted and kept them then I'm guessing I would've worked towards it. I probably wanted many of the type of guys I hung out with way more than I first thought.
Just wondering if others have experienced life like this.
