Chapter 2: In Which Michelle_P lives her life post transition

[Jessica]

I went into my bank to get a legal document notarized.  This is a service they offer for account holders at no charge, and I have used it before.  The notary and I ducked into a side office to conduct the legal ritual, with my ID, thumbprint, and signature.

The notary area had the usual "known to me as" language...
Rather progressive on the part of the lawyers!   The notary had to strike the inappropriate pronouns as part of the execution.  They rather sheepishly looked at me and said "Pardon me, no disrespect intended, but I have to ask which pronouns are right..."

OK.  Exactly the right thing to do here, and I reassured them of that.  We got on with the process and wrapped things up.

It still gave me a little twinge, as I am not at all sure that the notary would have asked this of another person.   I'm pretty sure I have been clocked and known as trans at this branch, where they have known me since early in my transition. 

Just another one of the speed bumps in life, I suppose.

I was talking to my electrocutioner about this and we came to the same conclusion that if you are obviously presenting as a woman, there should be no misunderstandings.

[Donica]

I know how this feels Michelle. I'm transitioning in place so everyone I frequent knew the old me. For the most part they are amazed at my courage and determination. Aside from the occasional misgendering, they mean well.

I would also agree with Jessica. If we are presenting as female, there should be no misunderstanding. Otherwise it seems they are being rude.

[LizK]

I know it's only a minor thin but really....why? You don't look nor sound like a guy and it's a stupid thing to ask...they would not ask it of anyone else...It makes you wonder if they really thought it through....somehow I doubt it.




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[Michelle_P]

I know it's only a minor thin but really....why? You don't look nor sound like a guy and it's a stupid thing to ask...they would not ask it of anyone else...It makes you wonder if they really thought it through....somehow I doubt it.

I likely am read as trans fairly easily.  Within trans communities we tend to reassure each other about how well we are doing, the whole 'passing' thing, to a fairly optimistic degree.  Certainly, I pass on the street.  Equally certainly, I do not pass with people who engage in extended conversations, or I know I am trans from my activism, but never met 'him'.

I relocated when I went full-time.  There should be no memory of 'him' coming up with anyone I am in contact with other than that radio club (which has done a great job with this, no misgendering or deadnaming!).

[Michelle_P]

I will also note that the pronoun options offered in the notarization were "he/she/they.  Non-binary persons cannot be readily recognized on sight.

As I told the notary, asking is the right thing to do.

My issues are more to do with my own insecurities than anything else.


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[Dena]

That would be one of the problems living in California. I don't think that Arizona has alternate pronouns and as they ask for your drivers license, the have the pronoun without asking for it. There has been talk about LGBT laws and protections so that may change in the future.

[Michelle_P]

I have surgery coming up tomorrow.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244936.msg2231171.html#msg2231171

I have a surgery scheduled for tomorrow, February 26 with Dr. Salim of the San Francisco Gender Clinic, at Kaiser San Francisco for a revision and breast augmentation (BA).

On the GCS revision, the plan is to fuse the very top of the labia majora to construct a clitoral hood, produce a pair of folds within the labia majora so as to reconstruct the labia minora, and at the posterior end the fourchette or labial frenulum, a fold of tissue joining the labia, will be lowered to be level with the introitus or vaginal entry.  (This will make dilation much easier.)

This is going to immobilize me for a few days, and slow me down for weeks in recovery.

Thank goodness that @Laurie has offered to stay with me while I am healing up.  That will greatly improve my state of mind.  I'm trying to get things together around the house to minimize work for her.  Her help and love is very much appreciated. 💖💕💖

[steph2.0]

All the best for tomorrow, Michelle. Love to you and Laurie!

Stephanie

[Anne Blake]

Blessings for you in your surgery and healing. Hug Laurie for us.

We love you girl,
Tia Anne & Debi

[Jessica]

Good luck my friend!  🌸🌸🌸

[LizK]

good luck...I hope it goes really well and so does your recovery


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[Michelle_P]

One... More... Time!


At Kaiser SF for my surgery.


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[anne_indy]

I trust all goes well today. Fortunately you have a great support team with you. She will keep you happy and well fed on the other side.


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[Donica]

Best wishes to you both!

[LizK]

Nice to see your smiling face.glad it all went well.


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[davina61]

I trust it all went well, don't work Laurie to hard but I know she will take good care of you.

[Michelle_P]

All done!


I've  been discharged, and have a special door prize ...


The swelling from surgery appears to have pinched off my meatus so I have a Foley catheter to keep me company for a week.



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[Northern Star Girl]

@Michele_P
Dear Michele:
I have been eagerly awaiting your update after your procedure today...  now you can sleep all night without waking up for "pee" breaks to the bathroom!!!   A silver lining in every cloud!!!

I trust that @Laurie and @Jessica are tending to your every need as you are recovering!!!!   If not, please let me know and I will be right down to straighten them out!!!

Thank you for sharing and posting.
Hugs, best wishes, and heal up quickly!!!
Danielle

All done!


I've  been discharged, and have a special door prize ...


The swelling from surgery appears to have pinched off my meatus so I have a Foley catheter to keep me company for a week.



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[JudiBlueEyes]

You look good Michelle!  Rest up and heal well!

[Jessica]

All done!


I've  been discharged, and have a special door prize ...


The swelling from surgery appears to have pinched off my meatus so I have a Foley catheter to keep me company for a week.



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Michelle, it's wonderful to see you looking so well. 
You have this expression of "Yes!" on your face.
See you soon 💕💕💕






@Alaskan Danielle

@Michele_P
Dear Michele:
I have been eagerly awaiting your update after your procedure today...  now you can sleep all night without waking up for "pee" breaks to the bathroom!!!   A silver lining in every cloud!!!

I trust that @Laurie and @Jessica are tending to your every need as you are recovering!!!!   If not, please let me know and I will be right down to straighten them out!!!

Thank you for sharing and posting.
Hugs, best wishes, and heal up quickly!!!
Danielle

I'm going to be visiting after Michelle gets some needed quiet time.  She is in very loving hands with Laurie at her beck and call. 
Michelle has made it easier for Laurie as she had precooked and frozen meals enough for a week.  When I was there Michelle had a slow cooker full of short ribs, they looked delicious!
Oh, and did I mention that she baked plenty of cookies?
I guess that would go without saying.
🌸🌸🌸