What should I expect from group?

[Jifoverskippy]

Hi everyone! My therapist has been recommending that I try to go to a group meeting with other transgender men and women. I've been pretty resistant to that until our last session where she kind of confronted me, so I told her id try. While I'm starting to accept that I view myself as a transgender female I'm still nervous about other people knowing (even if they are strangers). What should I expect if I go to one of these support groups?

[Devlyn]

Expect support. There should be a wide variety of people of differing identities and varying levels of transitioning and presentation. People there will be non-judgmental. You will be given an opportunity to introduce yourself and state your goals. Sometimes the meetings have a specific topic of discussion, sometimes not.

Hi everyone! My therapist has been recommending that I try to go to a group meeting with other transgender men and women. I've been pretty resistant to that until our last session where she kind of confronted me, so I told her id try. While I'm starting to accept that I view myself as a transgender female I'm still nervous about other people knowing (even if they are strangers). What should I expect if I go to one of these support groups?

Self acceptance is always your first hurdle. Get past that, and everything else is just a checklist.

Hugs, Devlyn

[Jenny1969]

From my limited experience (weekly group meetings for the last 3 months) its ok. It turns out to be a lot of people in the same boat sitting around talking about politics, local news, parking......bla bla bla.   No one judges or anything. Its ok and sometimes there is food......so there is that.

[Dani]

Often times we do not realize the need for support groups until we actually need them.

If you are questioning your gender issues, then there are many other people who are post op who can tell you how things worked out for them. If you are fully committed to transition, then support groups are a great place to find local resources, such as counselors, surgeons and endocrinologists who are trans friendly. As many of us have found out, some of these health care providers know little or nothing about us and some even really want nothing to do with us. I have some very strong opinions about unprofessional health care professionals. 

Lastly and most important, after transition, many of us find ourselves divorced and alone. We need social contacts and friends just to do things together.     

[Michelle_P]

Hi everyone! My therapist has been recommending that I try to go to a group meeting with other transgender men and women. I've been pretty resistant to that until our last session where she kind of confronted me, so I told her id try. While I'm starting to accept that I view myself as a transgender female I'm still nervous about other people knowing (even if they are strangers). What should I expect if I go to one of these support groups?

Expect to meet a diverse group of people, all at some stage of dealing with their gender related issues.  A group meeting is typically led by a facilitator, who may or may not be a therapist.  The facilitator's job is to help maintain a relatively safe and welcoming environment and keep the discussion moving along.  (I'm a facilitator, BTW)

In general group meetings start off with some form of introduction for the group giving policies such as 'no talking over each other', and then each person introducing themselves, typically first name, pronouns, and a short bit of personal information such as their high point and low point since the last meeting, or a short answer to a question put forward at the start of the session.

There may be a preselected topic for the meeting, or a topic common to the concerns expressed by folks in the introductions might be selected.  Discussion proceeds with all persons given a chance to speak.

Group ends with each person doing a 'checkout', typically offering their name again and some goal or self-care item that each of us will try to accomplish before the next meeting.

[Jifoverskippy]

Lastly and most important, after transition, many of us find ourselves divorced and alone. We need social contacts and friends just to do things together.     

That certainly sounds a little bleak. 

[Michelle_P]

That certainly sounds a little bleak. 

Well, restarting one's life after divorce and relocating has to start somewhere, and these groups provide an "instant peer connection" to help seed a social life.

I joined a trans women's social group in my area, and a welcoming and accepting church that matched my belief system. Instant social life instead of being alone 24/7.


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[Jenny1969]

Funny thing happened recently.  I fired one therapist and one therapist quite on me. The one I let go was charging me $130 and hour for ME to teach HER what a transgender woman was. She had no clue. I spent most of my session time teaching her. Money not well spent. The other therapist didn't really quit......she just called me and told me she didn't have the necessary  experience to handle my delicate situation. She was new, only 1 year out of school. So I get it....She was out of her element and figured I needed more than she could provide. She did refer me to a well known, well written Dr., so all in all I think its going to work out. Turns out I have been attending this support group weekly that is run by the doctor she referred me too.  More to follow on this situation......