Whatever it is, it my intersex condition or is it a mental thing? I never stop to think about myself in whatever roll I was. When i was little, I played the same stuff an d was dressed the same like my sister. I did not know that this was girls stuff, because I had no idea what gender is. Later, I was told that I am a boy, and I tried to play a boys roll, it was easy in the beginning, as much fun as playing a girls roll, and not really that much different. Later in my life, a constant and growing anger build up, but I had no idea why? It was almost as if I was angry to be angry. Anyway that anger destroyed my marriage, and I finally looked for professional help. The anger went away, and I found out that I was not really a man, but just tried to play one, and finally failed in that roll. But I still did not know what I was, because I still did not have any clear gender identity (and i still don't have one). I accepted my new roll of not really being anything, because I was usd to this all along. Some years later my desire to become a woman got stronger and stronger, and my body started to develop breasts (today I know that I never finished puberty, and this was the beginning of finishing it), and my female chromosoms took over, and I believe that this was the last push I needed to become a woman.
But I still don't wonder about it, because for my entire life I was used to live in an unusual body not really matching the roll I was old I had to match.
I mean, trying to be a manly man inside a body that is still pre-puberty, and pretty heavily female looking, gets the brain to accept a lot of different stimulations. Nothing about myself makes me sit back and wonder, I have learned to take it as it comes!
