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Sex drive on hrt?

Started by Tj87, January 25, 2019, 11:59:04 AM

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Tj87

Hi

I asked my therapist if I can just try T-blocker's for a while.
Too see if it helps with my confusion, and can send me in the right way.

But she is very negative too it and thinks my sex drive will be gone and I will gather into a depression.

Is there anybody that can help me here and explain how the mindset changes on blocker's and hormones?

Lots of love  :-*
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GingerVicki

Totally wrong! My sex drive is practically gone and I can't be happier. I am sure that if I was not single I would be more sexual.
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Tj87

Did you start on hormones straight away? How was it on just blocker's?
I am engaged and I love my fiancee so I don't want the sex to stop.
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AoifeB

I started on spiro and estradiol together. Couple weeks in, libido completely died, but then a week or so later returned but different. Less male reactions to things, been much better.
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Jill E

You might ask her if you can just sign a consent paper (to accepting any risks), and see if that'll work.. it's been a long time since I was on blockers, but I remember by breasts started budding at that time and I was less sex driven. I still wanted it, but I felt like I needed it less. You might also try telling your doctor that you don't really care about your libido (for the moment) and that this is something you feel like you need to be able to sort out.


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Tj87

In what way did your thinking change.
I just want to figure out if it's the right thing to do.
I am so confused.
I have no dysforias.
But I want too be a woman I think?
Is going on spiro for a while maybe going to give me some feedback.
I am starting to questioning everything.
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Jill E

Quote from: Tj87 on January 25, 2019, 12:30:58 PM
In what way did your thinking change.
I just want to figure out if it's the right thing to do.
I am so confused.
I have no dysforias.
But I want too be a woman I think?
Is going on spiro for a while maybe going to give me some feedback.
I am starting to questioning everything.

It wasn't mind altering or anything. I just had a REALLY high libido. After starting, I still wanted sex. It just wasn't something that I felt like I had to have any more. You should talk to a gender therapist; trans is an umbrella term. There are all types of people that that fit into it. Obviously feel free to keep asking questions here too lol


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Tj87

Thanks :)
Yes I will talk too her.
I just wonder if I remove all hormones it's easyr to find the real me.
No confusing hormones just me figuring it out.

My fiancee is still in the dark about this.
Feeling bad about that were much.
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Jill E

Quote from: Tj87 on January 25, 2019, 01:15:46 PM
Thanks :)
Yes I will talk too her.
I just wonder if I remove all hormones it's easyr to find the real me.
No confusing hormones just me figuring it out.

My fiancee is still in the dark about this.
Feeling bad about that were much.
Are you currently on HRT?


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Tj87

No I am not on hrt.

I am in the early stages of therapy.
I am just so confused.
Some days all I can think of is that I want to change gender completely.
And some days its not that bad being a man.

I have two kids a third on the way this summer.
I love them and my fiancee to bits and that's why it's hard too choose.
I am pretty sure my fiancee will end it and hate me if she knew.

So just figuring things out without estrogen and testosterone seemed too be the best way.
Not going to self medicate but get prescription from my primary doctor.
My head is running on anger and fair at the time.
I am short fused and struggling too focus on tasks over longer time.
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Beverly Anne

Anecdotal evidence suggests that sex drive, or "libido" response, to HRT is case sensitive. Libido happens in the Limbic System of the brain and is conditioned or predisposed by cultural conditioning, overall health and brain chemistry. A healthy lifestyle and psychological state before HRT should support no significant loss of libido with the reduction of T. Of greater concern are alcohol and tobacco, substances shown by research to lower libido. A person in good general health should be able to tolerate lower T, but this is something for your physician to help you manage. There may be some trial and error to find the right balance for you and your partner.   

Before HRT, I had zero libido. I hadn't had sex with anyone for 15 years, became indifferent to it altogether and only masturbated infrequently for health reasons at the direction of my doctor. Thankfully, after starting HRT, my libido returned. I began HRT with E only for the first three months. A T-blocker was added, and this did not lower my libido, which is quite healthy. My T levels are consistently in the low-normal range for females.

There were changes, though. Orgasm became less intense as a sudden, brief sensation and became a deeper, longer duration sensation. I can have multiple orgasms whereas before I could not. Also, there is little-to-no semen ejaculate as a result of HRT, but to me that's a good thing. If the lowering of T reduces libido, it's not irreversible if it becomes a problem. I know the site is open to younger readers, but as a nurse, I haven't used any language that isn't included in a middle-school sex education class. I hope this long answer helps.
Be authentic and live life unafraid!
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Tj87

Thank you Beverly[emoji4]
It was what I wondered about.
If anyone else have some other experiences I would love too read them:-)


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JanePlain

Quote from: Tj87 on January 25, 2019, 01:15:46 PM
Thanks :)
Yes I will talk too her.
I just wonder if I remove all hormones it's easyr to find the real me.
No confusing hormones just me figuring it out.

My fiancee is still in the dark about this.
Feeling bad about that were much.
I had to go hormone less for a year because of cancer and while I can only speak for myself I was miserable.  If you were to flip a switch and make yourself depressed this would be (I think) the same. 

I think removing testosterone to the point that its abnormally low for typical female levels is not so great.  I understand dysphoria and wanting male things or parts gone but...  I am post orchie taking Estrogen and a small amount of testosterone and couldn't be happier.  Having a sex drive after feeling like.... nothing for so long has been amazing / wonderful / super great.   

Whatever relationship concerns you have about your significant other I think having an active sex life makes any difficulties you might encounter a lot easier to handle.  I think.... and this is just an opinion.  If you lay on her that you are going to transition and start having zero libido there is a strong possibility that she will think this is rejection. 
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Tj87

Is there some other way to figuring it out.
All the talking makes me more confused and frustration builds up inside.
When do you know?
How should I feel?
is there something I am not seeing/feeling.
If I go on it is so much at stake.



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Devlyn

I think your doctor may be concerned about blocking your testosterone and having no hormones at all in your body. That's dangerous, and the guiding principle that doctors use is "First do no harm".

You might have better luck asking them to prescribe low dose estradiol?

Hugs, Devlyn
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Devlyn

Quote from: Tj87 on January 25, 2019, 01:15:46 PM
Thanks :)
Yes I will talk too her.
I just wonder if I remove all hormones it's easyr to find the real me.
No confusing hormones just me figuring it out.

My fiancee is still in the dark about this.
Feeling bad about that were much.

Yeah, about that..... not sharing this with your significant other is a surefire route to the end of your relationship. Honesty is the only method that can save what you have. It could also end ot, but it's going to end the other way as well, one route comes with a lot less lying and deceit. Your call.
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Tj87

Quote from: Devlyn on January 26, 2019, 03:02:33 PM
I think your doctor may be concerned about blocking your testosterone and having no hormones at all in your body. That's dangerous, and the guiding principle that doctors use is "First do no harm".

You might have better luck asking them to prescribe low dose estradiol?

Hugs, Devlyn

Yes maybe that is a better way to get some feelings in order.

I have considered trying the destructive method of using birth control pill.
I have a box she lost but I found under the car seat.
But I don't want to self medicate with hormones.

Yes I know I have to tell her but I can't find the right moment and the right words to use.
I am so confused myself.
If I know what I want it's much easier to explain and convince her that it's her I want with me in this and for the rest of my life.

Thank you Devlyn<3


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Tj87

#17

Thanks for that Astxl[emoji106]

I like how you put it.

No I am me and I have most times the urge to be a complete woman.
And every day I have too accept being a man for my family.
Some days that's harder then other days.
My therapist thinks I am gender fluent and that I can compromise with some arrangements with my SO.
One or two days a week which I can use to dress like a woman and so on.

But that is when I get my dysforias.
When I see me in the mirror as a man with makeup and clothing.
I don't like what I see.

I don't want to be both.
If the only way to save my relationship is to stay a man can I do it?



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Astxl

Quote from: Tj87 on January 26, 2019, 03:42:00 PM
Thanks for that Astxl[emoji106]

I like how you put it.

No I am me and I have most times the urge to be a complete woman.
And every day I have too accept being a man for my family.
Some days that's harder then other days.
My therapist thinks I am gender fluent and that I can compromise with some arrangements with my SO.
One or two days a week which I can use to dress like a woman and so on.

But that is when I get my dysforias.
When I see me in the mirror as a man with makeup and clothing.
I don't like what I see.

I don't want to be both.
If the only way to save my relationship is to stay a man can I do it?



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In this case, is your therapist the ignorant person, she knows how to deal with trans people at least?
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