Which mtf milestone marks the trans-woman’s “mtf birthday”?

[ChrissyRyan]

Which mtf milestone marks the trans-woman's "birthday"?  No, I am not talking about the day that she was born into the world.

Is her mtf birthday...
The day she realizes she is trans?
The day she gets a letter for mtf HRT?
The day she takes her first mtf HRT medicine?
The day she goes full-time?
The day she gets her birth certificate changed?
The day she has gender reassignment surgery?

On some other milestone day?
Or on each of these days?

Chrissy

[Linde]

I think the day she goes full time would be best!  Some don't want to get bottom surgery, others don't want to change the birtertificate.

I don't remember any of the key dates listed up there, and that would mean I can't celebrate a birthday?

[StacyRenee]

For me it's when my legal name change was signed. That's when Stacy was first legally acknowledged anywhere. Much like a cis person gets a birth certificate.

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[Harley Quinn]

For me it was hormones. It was the biggest hurdle and the jumping off point for transitioning. Everything after hormones wasn't nearly as scary. Even GRS was kind of "Meh".  I mean, yes I wanted it and it had to be done. However, post op was a very natural feeling and almost an afterthought immediately after. I would have thought that it would have been a more memorable event than it was... Still lives in "Hormones' " shadow.

[KathyLauren]

For me, unquestionably going full-time.  Coming out to my wife was big; HRT was big; GRS, when it happens, will be big.  But the biggest of all was going full-time.  Standing up at the community coffee meeting and declaring that I was transgender and would henceforth be known as Kathy.

My re-birthday is April 20th.  I'll be two.

[Amie June]

For me it was hormones. It was the biggest hurdle and the jumping off point for transitioning. Everything after hormones wasn't nearly as scary. Even GRS was kind of "Meh".  I mean, yes I wanted it and it had to be done. However, post op was a very natural feeling and almost an afterthought immediately after. I would have thought that it would have been a more memorable event than it was... Still lives in "Hormones' " shadow.

I agree. It was the day I started hormones - I knew the process that I had deeply longed for was beginning. I even saved the package from the box of Life cereal I bought the same day and still have it

Amie

[ChrissyRyan]

Well, so far the tally is:

02 when going full-time
02 when starting mtf HRT
01 when name change is done.

I guess other options I did not note above in the opening post might include:
.Accepting that you are trans mtf not just realizing that you are,
.Starting gender therapy,
.Setting medical appointment(s) for mft HRT,
.Actually getting the mtf HRT script (but not taking any meds yet).

But, I guess when can think too much about this and make that list really long.
Feel free to state a mtf milestone not listed in the original post or in this message.

Chrissy

[Devlyn]

I saw the date I decided to use a female name as my new birthday for a long time. Then there was a flotilla of other important dates: HRT, coming out, going full time, legal name change, surgery, etc. I decided I could have seven birthdays a year like a dog, or just use my actual birthday for simplicity's sake. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[KatieP]

I can see good arguments for all of the milestones mentioned. And, I have stop counting birthdays of ANY sort, being of a certain age, as they say.

But if I had to give ONE date, it would be the date of the letter from the Doctor saying, "Done." (Although she took way more words than one to say it.)

When I changed the gender marker at work, HR asked me for the "As-Of" date, I told them it was the day I was born 50 some years ago. They said, No, the official date when it changed. The date on the letter seemed highly appropriate...



Kate

[Linde]

I think, in reality it was my birthday, because I was born intersex, and that determined the way my life would unfold itself!

[GingerVicki]

i use the day that i started hormones.

[Northern Star Girl]

For me,  I have 3 important milestones:

The day I decided for sure to transistion.
The day I started HRT
The day that I came out Full-time

Danielle

[ChrissyRyan]

Very interesting opinions so far ladies!


Chrissy

[GingerVicki]

I can't wait to make orchi day my traniversary.

It will just seem so official.

[Donica]

It's hard to nail down any one event as all are significant milestones. If I was to pick one of those dates, I guess it would be the day my name was legally changed.

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[Jaime320]

I can see good arguments for all of the milestones mentioned. And, I have stop counting birthdays of ANY sort, being of a certain age, as they say.

But if I had to give ONE date, it would be the date of the letter from the Doctor saying, "Done." (Although she took way more words than one to say it.)

When I changed the gender marker at work, HR asked me for the "As-Of" date, I told them it was the day I was born 50 some years ago. They said, No, the official date when it changed. The date on the letter seemed highly appropriate...



Kate

Yeah I think that has to do with anti discrimination policies. So if anything is ongoing or pops up it's back dated far enough. So I'd tend to push as far back as possible, or legally allowed.

[Linde]

I can't wait to make orchi day my traniversary.

It will just seem so official.

I am just back from another urologist, because my balls hurt like hell (balls of fire???).  With a little luck, I might loose them soon!

But for me that is just another milestone.  My first transition was after I was born, and I was made into a male.
I did not make any conscious decission later, to transition into a female my body made that decission for me my mind just followed the lead.

[KatieP]

Yeah I think that has to do with anti discrimination policies. So if anything is ongoing or pops up it's back dated far enough. So I'd tend to push as far back as possible, or legally allowed.

VERY interesting! I had never thought of that.

Sometimes I am so innocent/stupid/behind...



Kate

[Lisa_K]

The only milestone I can think of that has a date is 6/19/1977. I didn't even remember exactly when it was until two years ago and had to look it up. My 42nd birthday of having SRS is approaching!

There were others but they're kind of hard to single out because I was trans as a kid and things are kind of a blur.

Memorable moments:

Being allowed to grow out my hair after the 2nd grade
Attending 14 different schools to complete six grades because I couldn't adjust to being a boy
7th grade: completely androgynous at 12 years old (1967)
7th grade: shrinks getting me excused from PE and locker rooms
7th grade: Parents legally threatening to sue the school so I didn't have to cut my hair
8th grade: spent a long horrible day in a fishbowl at the state university psychology dept.

Possibly related???
Summer 1969: Had "exploratory abdominal surgery" I still don't understand other than they had to cut you open to see what was going on inside back then and I had pains they couldn't figure out. They went away after that whatever they did and I have a pretty impressive scar.

In 1970 at 15 years old:
* nearly beaten to death in a homophobic attack - missed a month of school
* Having always been thought of and treated like a girl, parents understood I had to live and be one
* Got all girls clothes with ones that could pass as boy's worn to school

At 15½: Finally started showing signs of puberty and was terrified.
At 16: Was "passing" as a girl everywhere but known as a boy at school and seriously hated life
At 17: Diagnosed with "transsexualism" and started HRT (1972)
At 18: Went "full time" right after graduating high school (1973)
Got my first job as a secretary/receptionist shortly after that.

6/19/1977 - SRS in Colorado with Dr. Stanley Biber when I was 22. It was kind of a non-event but the only sort of date I can pin down as any sort of trans birthday.

[KatieP]

OMG, Lisa. Just OMG...

Just so you know, I am SOOOOO in awe of you, to fight through all of that, back then, and to come out the other side.

Soooooo in awe.

Thank you for sharing the milestones...

Kate