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Passing Questions (FTM)

Started by ratkingleo, February 02, 2019, 05:40:18 PM

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ratkingleo

Hey all,
I am very, very confused as to why I don't pass. All my friends, (including my partner,) have said that I have a very masculine face (though it's round,) and that I don't look female if you're just judging by my features. I don't wear makeup, I don't really walk feminine or any of that stuff either. I bind and it works well. I have no idea how I am still getting misgendered by total strangers. It might be my earrings, but I'm hoping it isn't, since I am planning on stretching my ears very soon. What do you guys think could be the issue? (Yes in the picture I'm aware I'm wearing a choker, I don't wear it every day and if I did I guess that could be a giveaway to my AGAB.) I also wonder if it's my height, which I cant really do a whole lot about. I'm around 5'1"-5'2", and 188 pounds last time I checked. (A little chunky, but I'm working out.) I am also pre-everything though testosterone soon! (We hope.) Semi-supportive parents that don't gender me right but aren't against my transitioning.
Anyways, no idea why I just cant seem to pass as male, no matter where I go I'm always being referred to as either by pet names by waiters "sweetheart, sweetie" stuff like that, or "miss/ma'am". I'm trying my best to pass, and I really don't like the idea of wearing makeup to frame my face differently.
If anyone has any tips, Thanks in Advance!
Leo
by the way, here's the image : https://imgur.com/a/tjIFZ8t
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Maid Marion

I'm a short amab.  I'd say it is hard to pass at that height.  Fewer than 1% of guys are shorter than 5' 3".

I don't really have any idea what you can do.  I'm growing my hair out as a NB and wearing tighter women's clothes.  I don't care what they call me.
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Linde

I think your face looks rather female, and your hair style is not much male either.  If I would be you, I would remove the piercings for the time being, and contour our face to make it looking narrower and longer.  I also would do my hair in a little more male style.
02/22/2019 bi-lateral orchiectomy






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Inspectoral

Quote from: Maid Marion on February 02, 2019, 05:57:10 PM
I'm a short amab.  I'd say it is hard to pass at that height.  Fewer than 1% of guys are shorter than 5' 3".

I don't really have any idea what you can do.  I'm growing my hair out as a NB and wearing tighter women's clothes.  I don't care what they call me.

I'm a short guy too and have struggled with this. He could try height elevating shoes. They have some amazing ones at tallmenshoes.com . I have small feet for a dude (afab) and all the small sizes seem to be less popular so they're often on sale for like half off. It's been a life saver for my height dysphoria and gets me up to 5'5, which is my dad's height. Also, the shoes are actually half way decent so my feet aren't miserable.
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Perceval_of_Wales

Ok, I looked at your picture, and while you do indeed have a masculine face you also have a baby face, and that's not a bad thing I have a baby face too, it just means that your voice will be more important to passing. Having extra fat in the cheeks can take a more masculine face to the androgynous center of the spectrum. Also you said you were like 180, and since you're pre-T I'd assume you have a feminine body fat distribution, which means your hips and thighs are probably on the wider side. I don't think your height will affect your passing too much though, because there are a lot of short guys, and I don't think anyone tends to look at height too much when determining gender. Also if you're not already, since you're working out, try and define muscles that are more prominent in guys. I remember aiden downing saying something about obliques once, and how if you work those out it can help not necessarily narrow your hips, but fill out your torso so they don't look as big. Also I think you said you were gonna get gauges and I think that will actually help you pass because they have a masculine connotation. Whether or not you pass right now, I think you'll do fine in the future, especially on T. Good luck, hope you do better soon!
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KathyLauren

Yes, your face has a lot of potential for masculinization, but you aren't there yet.  The biggest thing missing is beard shadow.  Your skin is too smooth and looks too soft for a male.

We can't hear your voice in the photo, of course, but that is probably also causing you to be misgendered.

Once you start on T, if you go that route, the misgendering should stop.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate
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Haley Conner

IMO cut down on the accessories, especially the collar.  Most male clothes are very plain, and they rarely wear jewelry of any kind.  In fact the majority of them have no sense of fashion whatsoever.  This can be clearly seen by browsing any clothing store.  The men's section is tiny compared to the women's section, and there is no variety to speak of, no interesting colors, etc.  So, just a notch above wearing a feed sack with holes in it.  Not very exciting, I know.  I hate most men's clothing, personally.
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