GCS and BA with Dr. Ley on 21 Feb 2019 - Jessica_Rose

[Donica]

Hang in there Jessica. Your almost through the rough part. You have a wonderful support group. I second the SQUEEEK.

[Jessica_Rose]

A nurse showed up around 6:30am with some meds -- Vicodin and Ativan. Meg showed up around 7:15am to get the party started. After getting the lube, Bacitracin, and dilators situated Meg began removing most of the sutures, with only an occasional pinch. The black lump that I assumed to be my clitoris was actually a blood clot which had dried over it. when Meg removed the clot, my clitoris looked fine. Meg spread some Bacitracin along the suture lines, put some on my clitoris, then a bit on the tip of dilator #1. Next Meg put some lubricant on the dilator, told me how to hold it, and directed me to begin insertion. There we some muscle resistance about 1/2 inch to 3/4 inch inside, but once past that it went in smoothly. With a little pressure I was able to get it down to the 6 inch mark. Yea!!!

I left it there for 20 minutes with continued pressure, then slowly withdrew the dilator. After breakfast I cleaned up and went on a walk. Removing the stitches made walking much more comfortable. My remaining sessions today are at 11:00am, 3:00pm, 7:00pm, and midnight. Tomorrows sessions are 8:00am, 1:00pm, 6:00pm, and 11:00pm. The catheter comes out on Friday, hopefully then I will begin feeling normal again.

[KathyLauren]

Jessica, congratulations on your recovery so far.  I have been following this thread, and I want to thank you for the detailed account of your recovery.  It gives me a good idea what to expect when it is my turn.

[Kendra]

This is the type of thread that helped me so much with my decisions, surgeries and recovery.  You are helping many futures.

[steph2.0]

This is the type of thread that helped me so much with my decisions, surgeries and recovery.  You are helping many futures.

I am absorbing every word, as I have with my other friends as went through this. The difference this time is now I have an actual date when I know I'll be experiencing the same things. It's so much more meaningful now. Thank you for your candid reports!

Six months, 26 days...

Stephanie

[Jessica_Rose]

Thanks @KathyLauren , @Kendra , and @Steph2.0 ! If anyone has any specific questions please let me know by either a reply to this thread or a PM. Many others have helped me during this journey, and I want to play it forward.

I have dilated three times so far today. Although uncomfortable, it is not painful. My vagina just feels extremely sore, which is understandable. The process is smooth, nothing feels rough. The most difficult part is getting past the resistance just inside the entrance. Taking a deep breath, then exhaling as you attempt penetration helps quite a bit. Having an empty bowel and bladder makes it much more comfortable. Lube is your best friend!

[Emma1017]

Wow really really really happy for you Jessica Rose!!!  Massive hugs, Emma

[Julie -2010]

Amazing the difference a few hours can make. I did two laps of the 2nd floor this afternoon, about 1/8 mile, without a walker or use of the handrails. Sometime within the next few hours I'll be taking my first shower ever without a built-in pointing device!

You look great!!  I'm so happy for you.  Love the smile.

Julie

[Michelle_P]

Thanks @KathyLauren , @Kendra , and @Steph2.0 ! If anyone has any specific questions please let me know by either a reply to this thread or a PM. Many others have helped me during this journey, and I want to play it forward.

I have dilated three times so far today. Although uncomfortable, it is not painful. My vagina just feels extremely sore, which is understandable. The process is smooth, nothing feels rough. The most difficult part is getting past the resistance just inside the entrance. Taking a deep breath, then exhaling as you attempt penetration helps quite a bit. Having an empty bowel and bladder makes it much more comfortable. Lube is your best friend!

Sounds pretty normal!  Healing takes time, alas. 

I'm off dilation for a few more days while my labiaplasty work heals up.  I get to take a shower in a couple more days, a huge relief, and I lose the catheter on Monday.

I'm shuffling about the apartment fairly well now, and fortunately I have @Laurie here to help out.  If my surgery hadn't been moved up we would both likely be in Arizona pestering you and Susan!

Just take your time and heal well.

[Jessica_Rose]

Thanks @Michelle_P ! Susan and I had been wondering about how your surgery had gone, but we have been a bit wrapped up in our own adventure. So glad you have @Laurie there to help keep you on track.

After my third dilation I saw Dr. Ley again and asked her how many dots should I see when the dilator is fully inserted? She said 'none'. Well that left me with some work to do. For dilation #4 at 7:00pm I bumped up the thermostat a bit and pulled out my mp3 player and headphones. I lubed the dilator down to the fourth dot ( there are five dots) and began the session. It was quite uncomfortable, and produced a few drops of blood, but when I checked the dilator the lubricant had reached dot #5. I used the same technique, this time also rocking my hips for dilation #5 at midnight, and was again successful with noticeably less discomfort, but 'ouch' is still appropriate. My next round is at 8:00am, but I will back it up to 7:00 am since breakfast comes at 8:00am.

[Jessica_Rose]

I may have turned a corner this morning. I awoke around 5:45am and decided to alter my dilation schedule. As I got out of bed I quickly realized that detaching my catheter from the bag is best done before heading to the bathroom! I had a nice bowel movement, got my dilation kit ready, set out the 'do not disturb sign', put my headphones on, then got to work. I was able to reach the same depth as last night - all five dots - with minimal discomfort (it still hurt, just not as much). A little blood drained out with the lube, about the same as overnight. After cleaning up I fixed my hair, then walked the corridors for about a mile, all before breakfast. I feel pretty good about the start to the day. I am hopeful that I have finally gotten past the hard part. There is still a long way to go, but hopefully I am through the mountains, driving along the foothills on my way to the prairie.

Susan has also become quite fierce! I mentioned in a text that I may have to tell my family soon if my brother passes away before I can readily travel, Susan responded with this:

'This is something that has to be done for you. You have gone through all of this. ITS TIME FOR YOU to come first.'

Yes, I think she is a keeper. I love you @Susan_Rose .

[steph2.0]

I may have turned a corner this morning. I awoke around 5:45am and decided to alter my dilation schedule. As I got out of bed I quickly realized that detaching my catheter from the bag is best done before heading to the bathroom! I had a nice bowel movement, got my dilation kit ready, set out the 'do not disturb sign', put my headphones on, then got to work. I was able to reach the same depth as last night - all five dots - with minimal discomfort (it still hurt, just not as much). A little blood drained out with the lube, about the same as overnight. After cleaning up I fixed my hair, then walked the corridors for about a mile, all before breakfast. I feel pretty good about the start to the day. I am hopeful that I have finally gotten past the hard part. There is still a long way to go, but hopefully I am through the mountains, driving along the foothills on my way to the prairie.

Susan has also become quite fierce! I mentioned in a text that I may have to tell my family soon if my brother passes away before I can readily travel, Susan responded with this:

'This is something that has to be done for you. You have gone through all of this. ITS TIME FOR YOU to come first.'

Yes, I think she is a keeper. I love you @Susan_Rose .

[emoji3590][emoji3590][emoji3590][emoji3590][emoji3590]!!!

[Kendra]

>
I may have to tell my family soon

>
'This is something that has to be done for you. You have gone through all of this. ITS TIME FOR YOU to come first.'

I couldn't agree more. 

Make the best long-term decisions, be who you are and enjoy what you've accomplished.  You're nailing it.

[Jessica_Rose]

It has been nearly seven days since I began waking up from surgery, from the long nightmare that used to be my daily life. I can describe the week in a single word (in vivid Technicolor):

OW!!!!!!

But I say that with a smile. Pain seems to be always present in our lives, but occasionally a lucky few discover the primary source of their pain, and they learn how to defeat it. Sometimes the cost is high -- friends, family, resources, and yes, sometimes even more pain. I completely underestimated how physically painful and emotionally demanding this week would be, I was off by several orders of magnitude, but I am glad I did it. The physical pain will slowly diminish, and the haunting memories of who I used to be will fade, until one day all that remains will be me -- the person who was hiding behind the pain.

[LizK]

Jessica-rose we go into this surgery as prepared as we know how to be but nothing can really prepare you for the reality of GCS, recovery and dilation. I think you are doing remarkably well. Congratulations on your hard won progress, the biggest positive I can suggest to you is that it does get a bit easier as you heal. Take care of yourself and thanks for sharing

Liz


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[Donica]

Congratulations Jessica. You have arrived. As your dear Susan has said, this is your time. You and Susan's time. You and Susan can now move on and enjoy you news lives together.

Sending my best wishes to your both and your bother and family.

Big hugs!

[Jessica_Rose]

One more dilation today around 10:00pm. My next will be around 6:00am Friday morning. I am making my own dilation schedule, one which fits better with my being an early riser. I saw Dr. Ley again today, she will drop by in the morning to remove my catheter -- Yea!!! Or should I say 'yi-Pee'!!!

I think I have talked to Dr. Ley every day except one since surgery. During my initial consultation she seemed a bit cold, but also extremely professional. Now that I have gotten to know her a bit, I realize she is a warm and loving woman. Even though I am still healing and have a ways to go, I would not hesitate to recommend Dr. Ley to anyone. I already set a date for my return trip - 26 July for labiaplasty and some brow work. Dr. Ley commented that my brow is not that noticeable, but I see it every day, and I want it gone.

[Jessica_Rose]

I dilated around 6:00am this morning. It is still uncomfortable, but slowly improving. After cleaning up I decided to wear clothes instead of a hospital gown. Knowing the catheter was coming out made me feel less like a patient and more like a woman. I wore my "I Got Ley'd" t-shirt, a long blue skirt, and some black sandals

Dr. Ley dropped by at 7:30am and removed my catheter. it was quick and painless. I mentioned about some very painful chafing on my labia (wow, MY labia) and she said since I wasn't bleeding much I should try panty liners. I found one in the 'welcome bag', and it really is much more comfortable. There are still some stitches that poke me from time to time, eventually they will come out on their own -- or with a little help. I already have an electrolysis appointment set for next Thursday, I just have to avoid the surgical areas until one month after surgery.

I should be released tomorrow. We will head home on Sunday, probably spending the night in Albuquerque. I expect once we get home I will have some time to contemplate what has occurred. After hiding behind a facade for five decades, for the first time in my life I have nothing left to hide. It will take some time to adjust, some time for me to learn how to be me.

[Jessica]

I dilated around 6:00am this morning. It is still uncomfortable, but slowly improving. After cleaning up I decided to wear clothes. Knowing the catheter was coming out made me feel less like a patient and more like a woman. I wore my "I Got Ley'd" t-shirt, a long blue skirt, and some black sandals

Dr. Ley dropped by at 7:30am and removed my catheter. it was quick and painless. I mentioned about some very painful chafing on my labia (wow, MY labia) and she said since I wasn't bleeding much I should try panty liners. I found one in the 'welcome bag', and it really is much more comfortable. There are still some stitches that poke me from time to time, eventually they will come out on their own -- or with a little help. I already have an electrolysis appointment set for next Thursday, I just have to avoid the surgical areas until one month after surgery.

I should be released tomorrow. We will head home on Sunday, probably spending the night in Albuquerque. I expect once we get home I will have some time to contemplate what has occurred. After hiding behind a facade for five decades, for the first time in my life I have nothing left to hide. It will take some time to adjust, some time for me to learn how to be me.

All I can do is Squeek and sigh!
Kendra is correct, these accounts of yours is very important for yourself, but also for those in contemplation.

[Jessica_Rose]

One more small but important event -- I peed! No catheter required, and not a garden sprayer, a nice downward stream. Not exactly something I would write home about, but an oddly important event.