Hello everyone! <3

[Linde]

I just talked with my parents in person about my choice to be transgender. It went really well as I thought it would 
My mom is the best <3

Congratulations that you have such  great mother.  A good support system makes it way easier to go through with you transition!
I assume that your mother is approximately in my age, and I can assure you, it is not easy for us older folks to come to grip with those things.  It was not easy for me to transition, and it is not easy for your mother to see her child transitioning.  You are so lucky that she is on your side!

Good luck and hugs!
Linde

[MeTony]

Also, do you have any input on the accuracy of faceapp? I can't seem to find any testimonials from people who used it pre-HRT and have been able to make a comparison post-HRT. That is, assuming you have undergone it?

I'm still pre T. But the app codes me as male. I had an episode of 3 years in woman mode. That was about 10 years ago. When I try the woman picture I look like my sister. Not like I did 10 years ago.

Avoid the gender swap choise. It puts a hollywood filter on before swaping. Very unrealistic.

This is me with woman2 filter. You see there are similar traits. It looks more like my sister. But not what I looked like in woman mode. Faces don't change much without HRT. And I'm pre T. I had this face 10 years ago too. Just a bit younger

[Cloudy Puff]

Awesome, thanks Tony. I will play with the settings a bit. Still figuring it out and I do hate the holywood makeup. It looks nice and all but realistically who want's to wear 3 pounds of makeup regularly. I'm going to play around with it and see if I can come up with something more realistic.

[Cloudy Puff]

I didn't even realize you could swipe over and have other options on it. I am much happier with these ones. Used the female 1 filter, fem 2 seemed to do some weird unnatural things with my face and hair. These new ones even got my natural hair color =) While I do see these as more realistic, I do understand it will not be what I look like in the future. Thanks again Tony for telling me that, I probably would have never noticed if you didn't mention it

[Cloudy Puff]

I keep posting and then forgetting something I wanted to add.... Grrr...

The choices I've made have given me an appreciation for all the transgender people out there. Self image can be the most terrifying thing and my heart goes out to all the brave souls who battle with this in their head. Earlier in this post I talked about not being worried about privacy, and I meant that but more and more I'm realizing how much I hate to look at my current image. I didn't post the before pictures of my faceapp swap because I'm that disgusted with looking at myself. I started to think about it and I have never looked in a mirror and liked what I saw. I have avoided taking pictures like it's the freaking plague all of my life. Someday I hope I can look in the mirror and like what I see, but I know that isn't going to happen until I can reflect a glimmer of how I feel on the inside. Is this normal?

[Michelle_P]

... I started to think about it and I have never looked in a mirror and liked what I saw. I have avoided taking pictures like it's the freaking plague all of my life. Someday I hope I can look in the mirror and like what I see, but I know that isn't going to happen until I can reflect a glimmer of how I feel on the inside. Is this normal?

Yes, absolutely normal.

I found a total of 5 pictures of old me in the tens of thousands from family albums and events going back to 1998 that I have,  When I remodeled a master bath in my old home, I removed the giant wall mirror and replaced it with smaller oval mirrors over high-topped jack-and-Jill vanities, such that they did not reflect me below the waist when I walked between the shower and vanity.

When I started my real life test in a new apartment, I covered the wall mirror in the bath with a translucent plastic film with a small cutout for shaving.

Yeah, I didn't like seeing myself in the mirror.

This sort of dysphoria trigger seems fairly common.

[Cloudy Puff]

Yeah, I didn't like seeing myself in the mirror.

That's past tense so I hope you don't feel that way anymore darling because I think you are BEAUTIFUL!!

I noticed you when I was poking around in a thread where you were giving some really good advice about maintaining a clean wig and when I saw your face it put a big smile on mine 
I consider myself very fortunate that my genetics didn't deal me any balding patterns, and I'm happy for the strong women who don't let anything like that hold them back.


Side note: I figured out how to quote only specific parts of a post. Yay learning!

[MeTony]

I also used to hate mirrors and pictures of me. I was lost and tried hard to be a girl. But this guy in my head kept looking back at me in the mirror but as a woman. It did not matter if I had makeup or long hair. My image did not match the mirror. I was not a woman.

When I embraced the man in me, the mirror slowly started to look like me. I am happy I have male/androgynous features in my face.

When I cut my hair, bought a binder and started dressing as I feel - I started to like myself. AND the image in the mirror and pictures. It is me.

Dysphoria is very often part of being transgender. You can have body dysphoria or voice dysphoria etc.

Not recognizing your true self in the mirror and hating the image - sounds like dysphoria.


Tony

[Cloudy Puff]

I went in for my consultation this morning. Gave blood samples and talked about my options. I cried so many times and they were feelings of happiness and sadness. This all makes me so, sooo happy. I feel like I have a new lease on life and it has given me so much determination to live a healthier life and have more confidence. There has been a shroud of depression around me for as long as I can remember, and I feel like the weight is lifting?!?! I have never felt like this before, caring about myself in so many ways is completely new to me and I love it!! I can't wait to start going full time as a woman!! Bless you all!! I also talked to my older brother today about the choice I made, so that makes mom, dad, and one of my brothers who know now along with an online friend I have from a long time ago. It feels so great to be more open about who I am. Looking forward to making the announcement on FB to the world. I have been trying to convince myself to grow out my hair again for such a long time, and I have hair trimmers that I always just buzzed everything off with. They will not be used ever again!! (on my head at least  ) Can't wait to have it long enough to get it styled. So so many emotions and thoughts running through me.


~I feel reborn

[Jessica_Rose]

This journey can be quite a rollercoaster. Finally being able to come out in the open and live as your true self will feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off your shoulders. There will be many ups and downs, and you will experience some emotional extremes, but it is definitely worth it. My one regret is not starting sooner!

Congrats on starting your new journey! I wish you all the best.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

[Cloudy Puff]

I'm seeing a lot of diff advice on lowering testosterone without medication. And I was wondering if there was a more accurate list of things to do in order to lower it. Does anyone have a link or some tips at least for me?? Also there is one very specific, personal question I can't find an answer to. Does masturbation raise testosterone?

[Linde]

I'm seeing a lot of diff advice on lowering testosterone without medication. And I was wondering if there was a more accurate list of things to do in order to lower it. Does anyone have a link or some tips at least for me?? Also there is one very specific, personal question I can't find an answer to. Does masturbation raise testosterone?

I don't think so that mastruation does anything.  Because some people are able to mastrubate pretty well without testicles.  And those are the babies that generate most of your testosterone.
Certain nutrition may help a little bit, but like with increasing estrogen through nutrition, it is only very marginal.

Who is giving the advices, if it is companies that sell nutritional supplements, I would be carefull, they can say anything but do not have to keep heir promises!

It looks as if my testes stoppe producing any significant amount of testosterone several years ago, and that is the reason why they will be removed, but I am a rather unusual biological case anyway, and am not a good example for most people.

[Cloudy Puff]

I mostly watched videos on youtube. But the reason I was asking about masturbation is the fact that if testosterone is produced in the testicles, would it be released into the body through masturbating at a faster rate? or would it be worse to not release it because you are sorta "storing" it up if you don't? I may be just in my head a little too much even thinking about this. It's difficult from what I read to not feel in a rush to get the process moving along faster and I am feeling the effects of trying to rush. I took my blood test yesterday to begin my HRT treatment and I don't go back until next week so I was wondering if there was anything I could do in the meantime to help. I read things that were saying to avoid red meat, eat grains and avoid dairy? Are these things true?

[Cloudy Puff]

I hope I'm not carrying on too much here in introductions. I will try to post in the appropriate thread for any further questions =)

[Linde]

I mostly watched videos on youtube. But the reason I was asking about masturbation is the fact that if testosterone is produced in the testicles, would it be released into the body through masturbating at a faster rate? or would it be worse to not release it because you are sorta "storing" it up if you don't? I may be just in my head a little too much even thinking about this. It's difficult from what I read to not feel in a rush to get the process moving along faster and I am feeling the effects of trying to rush. I took my blood test yesterday to begin my HRT treatment and I don't go back until next week so I was wondering if there was anything I could do in the meantime to help. I read things that were saying to avoid red meat, eat grains and avoid dairy? Are these things true?

When you eliminate certain foods from your body, other functions of the body might also be educed.  you need a certain amount of protein, to continue to be healthy.
But I don't think that you can do achieve much in a single week, food based changes are rather slow, and are never dramatic, unless you starve yourself.
And no, hormone production does no work like this, your testicles produce testosterone continuously, and you can't create a little stasch of it. 
If you like to mastrubate just continue to have this fun, because once you are on testosterone blockers and estrogen, your libido may go down the tube, and all is left is the memory of mastrubation.  You might also get a certain amount of atrophy of your penis, which might make it harder to mastrubate, an you might not even b able to get an erection anymore.
Again, every person is different and reacts different.  I have not have had an erection for many, many years now, and my penis has shrunk so much that I cannot stand at a urinal anymore to urinate (but I also do not have any problem with tucking, wearing female underwear).  But my libido is also so low that I don't miss this stuff anymore.

Every person is different, and a lot depends on the dose of medication your doc will prescribe for you!
You waited all those years to transition, one more week will not make a difference anyway!

[Cloudy Puff]

Thank you Lind