Had a pretty rotten day today

[pamelatransuk]

I can't help but wonder if there is a connection between clinical anxiety/depression and gender dysphoria. All the suppression of feeling and self loathing spread out over years (in my case decades) had to cause problems. And anxiety/depression are normal for someone living under the chronic stress of being different.  .

I've noticed since I finally was "man enough" (lol) to acknowledge my transgender needs, even if only to myself, my moods and thoughts are happier and life is better.

Xo

Hello LexiB

I am sure there is a connection between depression/anxiety/stress and GD.

Indeed the GD was by far the major factor in making me depressed over decades. The so-called good times were when the depression was a constant feeling of being dulled and only existing and the bad times were when the depression was painful and caused aggravation and loss of temper. It was decades for me too as I always knew I was trans but buried and suppressed till 2017 when aged 62 I sought therapy followed by HRT in February 2018. I am publicly transitioning later this year aged 64.

Of course I have been depressed/anxious/stressed over other things but they were usually manageable; GD was and is a perpetual burden.

I wish you well.

Hugs

Pamela 

[JanePlain]

I don't know the answer but I learned that my father's side of the family has a lot of depression problems.  I was concerned with meds changing me into a "veg" or something.  I've since learned that the right ones just make life normal.  I'm not euphoric.  I'm not vegged out I'm just having a normal which feels a lot better then chronic depression.  I guess I could add anxiety issues but for me thats more event driven and does not appear to be genetic.  But again there was a great(er) concern about meds and I have again learned that the right drugs taken in the right dose just get me to a functional normal.  Ok, what I take is a bit sedating but 100x better then a panic attack.  I would put in a pitch for therapy but I think most of us here are ok seeing a therapist. 

HRT seems to be helpful in this as well but that can often be a second issue in addition to depression.  At least that is my thinking.  Either way good luck!  Don't let depression slide its an awful way to live.

[pamelatransuk]

Mine too!! I think it's the fear of the unknowns and "dad mode" where i tend to look out for my family's happiness first. And wishing I could look in the mirror everyday and see my true self, whomever she is.

Hello again LexiB

I must agree that for decades I was also preoccupied with my family and friends and work (I am now 64 and took early retirement) - there was so much paperwork in the early years and so much stress in the later years with everything electronic and answers hence expected almost immediately. My mother knew and never approved of my transgender feelings. This helped oddly enough keep the GD at bay at times but the GD never went away and returned regularly usually at an increased rate.

After retirement I was less stressed but still depressed but the GD became so dominant, I had no choice other than to seek therapy and then HRT. My mother had also died and I mourned her greatly but that obstacle was then removed.

Hugs

Pamela

[pamelatransuk]

HRT seems to be helpful in this as well but that can often be a second issue in addition to depression.  At least that is my thinking.  Either way good luck!  Don't let depression slide its an awful way to live.

Hello again Jane

As I said on February 23rd I have been depressed/anxious/stressed over other things but they were usually manageable; GD was and is a perpetual burden.

I suspect but I shall have to wait a considerable time to see it I'm correct in my assumption but I am inclined to think that after public transition AND after being fulltime public for some time that not only should the GD subside, but also the experience of fighting GD by HRT and by public transition and perhaps by surgery should instill in me (and hopefully many of us) confidence to fight other depression which might occur in later years due to circumstances unrelated to being transgender. I certainly hope so!

Hugs

Pamela

[fleurgirl]

Linde, we all have bad days from time to time. I think this is even harder on women like us who had to stay hidden for decades. We missed out on a great many things, and much of what we missed can't be replaced. Many of us have also lost friends and relatives. We can't dwell on what we missed out on, nor on those who have abandoned us. Be the person you always wanted to be, and don't let anyone tell you who you are. We have earned the right to be happy. Look towards your future, find joy in finally being free to be yourself!

I needed to hear this.

[jkredman]

Hello again LexiB

I must agree that for decades I was also preoccupied with my family and friends and work (I am now 64 and took early retirement) - there was so much paperwork in the early years and so much stress in the later years with everything electronic and answers hence expected almost immediately. My mother knew and never approved of my transgender feelings. This helped oddly enough keep the GD at bay at times but the GD never went away and returned regularly usually at an increased rate.

After retirement I was less stressed but still depressed but the GD became so dominant, I had no choice other than to seek therapy and then HRT. My mother had also died and I mourned her greatly but that obstacle was then removed.

Hugs

Pamela

Same thing here. 

Work was part of my coping mechanism.  It gave me something else to concentrate on and facilitated suppressing my truth. 

Being forced into retirement eliminated my last coping mechanism.  I had no choice but to face it, seek help, and do something about it.  I'm coming up on 4 months HRT.  Not looking back.

Kate


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