Hi Caroline,
Quote from: CarolC Oz Girl on February 21, 2006, 12:52:14 PM
if all men had to be a woman for one day and experience how we feel do you think they would treat us different.
Take it from me.... no, it wouldn't help. There's no excuse for the way he treated you. However, he is one sad example of ... I dunno what to call it, the male superiority complex? *shrug* It stems from two main things, in my mind:
First, it seems it is human nature to play the game of one-upmanship. People seem to latch on to whatever they can to feel special. For guys it is usually involves strength or knowledge about "guy-things" - sports, mechanics, etc.
Secondly, most guys have this innate desire to "be a man", or be as non-feminine as possible. It's the ultimate insult to be called "a girl" (not that there's anything wrong with being a girl, as long as you're not a guy.) It's vice versa for girls, but from what I've observed, to a lesser degree. The societal differences between the sexes is interesting in this regard, and it doesn't favor guys. Girls, in general, seem to care somewhat about being pretty, sexy, stylish, sensitive.... etc, and the definition of femininity seems to be skewed that way. You all have the market cornered on that one. Guys, in general, will never try to compete with you there - and they can't, anyway. Guys are ugly mugs compared to girls. You can express your femininity without fearing that some guy will actually be better than you in that area. Femininity does not depend on "skillz" (to quote Napoleon Dynamite). However, masculinity does sometimes. There is enormous pressure on guys to "make something of themselves" and an innate desire to "be the hero", so many guys (unfortunately) place their masculine identity into how well they throw a football, scale a wall, fix a car, shoot a gun, their performance in a boardroom, how well they play poker, etc, etc. That's why it sucks for guys to lose to a girl. You're not just losing a competition, your masculinity is thrown into question. Unfortunately for guys, females are just as competent in every area except (with few exceptions) those requiring strength. In areas that don't require strength to be competent, particularly those that are male-dominated fields, the general thought pattern can become "well, if i'm not actually better or more knowledgeable, I'll at least act that way." And with few good examples to challenge that way of thinking, they start to believe it.
My thoughts, for what they're worth. Even I, though I "know better" and understand what it can be like to be on the receiving end, can tend to think like that, just from growing up in a boy's world. (That's usually right before I hit myself over the head.) Fortunately, many guys do grow up and respect women for the most part. I guess this is a long way of saying - men who treat you like that should be pitied, if anything. And, you certainly don't need to give them your business.
Joseph
