A new beginning

[davina61]

Good for you , I found it was no biggey and the worst reaction I got was "oh I see". Still get a bit of dead naming but it can be short for Davina anyways so its not a bother. Hope it all goes well for you , see you soon.XXXXX

[pamelatransuk]

Now the weird bit I feel so totally ready within myself now to come out fully, but at the same time in seriously scared beyond words.
Now I think is the hard part as things get real and I try and face the world as me.

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Soph/Davina

I feel precisely the same. Motivated and getting prepared to come out but also feeling scary. However safe in the knowledge that my actions are and will be fine. See you both on March 16th.

Hugs

Pamela  xx

[maybesoph]

Looking forward to seeing you both soon x

I'll be the gibbering nervous wreck trying to stay composed.

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[maybesoph]

Well 6 months on HRT & I'm feeling so low.

Try to stay positive but feeling very alone and separate from my wife and also some of my children.
With my wife I feel like I'm banging on an empty drum, no matter what I do I barely get positive responses & we have no physical contact at all.
I'll go out for food come back and make breakfast or a dinner and get barely a word.
I bend over backwards as I keep trying to please but seem to spend every Monday now exhausted and in tears from the weekend.
Honestly am so torn as what to do, I'll never give up trying as I want to be there for my children. Especially my young twin girls who I have such an amazing bond with, but also now I'm feeling guilty as they're being referred for counselling at school in case they start to suffer during my transition.

So wanted to celebrate the 6 months but finding it a struggle just to get on at the moment.
I know I've got to get through highs and lows but I think it's the isolation & the loss of affection that's killing me inside.

I'll be back soon x

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[davina61]

Hang on in there, lets hope they see the new better you.

[pamelatransuk]

Hello again Soph

I read your PM and replied just over 2 hours ago but only now have I come to your thread and I am so sorry you are feeling down. I hope this is literally just an off day and not the way you feel regularly of late.

My advice for today or other "down periods" is to concentrate on what you have already achieved over the last 6 months and on what you are motivated and prepared to achieve in the near future especially going public in 4 weeks time.

I look forward to meeting you in 4 weeks at the Meet Up but in the meantime I shall be thinking of you and hoping you remain close to ALL your children and that your wife eventually comes round hopefully to communication but better still to acceptance.

Special Hugs to you today

Pamela  xx


I also forward to meeting you, Davina, in 4 weeks time.

Pamela

[Maid Marion]

Hi Soph,

Hope things get better for you and your family.

Marion

[maybesoph]

Hi Marion,

Thank you for your kind words x

A phone call yesterday evening left me giggling a lot, recieved a call from a private number so I answered to hear a woman on the other end say "Oh I'm sorry I've got the wrong number, no no I haven't is Sophie there please"
Queue me thinking who is this?? Turns out it was the doctors assistant requesting a blood test for GIC & she hadn't read the letter properly before ringing.
I've never spoken to someone who seemed so embarrassed at an honest mistake that  couldn't stop laughing & we ended up having a chat and she was such a nice person, asking how I want to be addressed when I arrive, how I want to be gendered just generally nice things.

It's sort of restored a bit more self belief that I can face these situations & not crumble.

Loving this hormonal roller coaster :-)

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[pamelatransuk]

Soph

Glad that phone call yesterday gave you a boost. As I said on Monday 18th, I hope you were only on a "downer" temporarily. I hope the boost brightens you up and it lasts!

You can and you shall achieve so much on HRT and transition in general.

Clearly the lady at the GIC is understanding and caring also.

Hugs

Pamela  xx