I recently, 6 mos ago, got a more genderqueer/gender neutral hair cut. This has helped with my dysphoria alot as I identify as a genderqueer trans man. So I wasnt too concerned that my hair cut was still the slightest bit fem instead of like a cis dude's hair cut. But at my latest appointment, I had the stylist adjust the style making it a little shorter in places and I started using less product. I think I've managed to tip things over into a new level of masc gender presentation
Since this last cut, people at work have started 'accidentally' Gendering me correctly. For context, I work at a software helpdesk and we all sit at little mini cubicles. So generally, when speaking with coworkers throughout the day, you only see their head and shoulders. The first few times, I wrote it off as coincidence as I've always gotten those occasional 'sir's if the other person cant see my body. But it's becoming so frequent at work that I cant help but attribute it to my hair. Its been making me really happy on the inside, I may never change my hair again.
The problem is I dont know how to deal with the aftermath. The other person always seems to be so uncomfortable because they think they have made a mistake. I'm not out yet, so I cant tell them 'it's fine! I prefer it' but I also want them to keep doing it?
I've been thinking of doing a soft 'coming out' at work. Maybe asking them to start using 'they' pronouns? I prefer they/he pronouns interchangeably anyway. The problem is it seems like sometimes people get really hung up over they/them pronouns?
I do want to come out at work eventually but right now I'm testing the waters. I've taken the initiative to create an lgbtqia group at work (as a tech company we have alot of like community groups cause reasons lol). I'm hoping this group will allow me to get a better feel for possible reactions to coming out. It will also let all of us queers find each other, I know there are a ton of us at this company but we have been finding each other sorta haphazardly.
Anyway, tl/dr, people are accidentally using masculine pronouns for me at work and I dont want them to stop or feel uncomfortable but I'm also not ready to come out just yet. Would they/them be a good idea or should i just wait?
Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk