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Finally on the road...

Started by bonkatie, March 02, 2019, 07:51:50 PM

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bonkatie

Hi all!

I first posted on Christmas Day introducing myself so I won't recap that here.  Here's the link if interested. https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,243591.msg2208660.html#msg2208660

Well it's now been two months since my intro post and a lot has happened!  Not sure where to begin, but wanted to start a thread so I can just update it occasionally.  Anyway what's happened?

I started LHR in January and have basically have had my entire body done except for the forearms.  Somehow oddly I'm concerned about this area the most.  I've done my beard area now twice and it's really effective.  Basically all gone.  However, the forearms concern me :-).  Why, you ask?  Well basically work.  Somehow I feel i can get by without a beard but not without forearm hair.  That people will notice.  Well at least I think.

I also started Electrolysis in February. Been to two sessions to zap the gray hairs.  Not fun, but also not horrific either.  I meditate in the lobby before my appointment.  I'm convinced that helps.

Back in October of 2018 before HRT and a week before starting therapy I got a hair transplant and that's now finally starting to grow in so looking forward to seeing what happens there.   

Also in February I started working with a voice coach.  And now working on my feminine voice.  I just started but already seeing some progress.  At least that's what the pitch app says.

I've also been on a major health and fitness kick.  One year ago I had a beard, and 25 extra pounds.  In the last year I have gotten down to 175 (I'm 5'10) and am the skinnest I've been in 20years.  I can't believe it!  Anyway I've totally plateaued and trying to get down another 10 pounds would be nice.   I've basically gone vegetarian, well the last meat I ate was a Branzino at a restaurant about 3 weeks go.  On top of that I'm doing yoga and exercising like a nut job.   I have to say that I'm the healthiest and oddly happiest I've been about my body since forever. 

While my body is well cared for at this time, I'm pretty anxious about coming out to people and not knowing how or when or what to do.  I'm working with a therapist who is just friggen great! I have so much respect for her and she surprises me every session with some tantalizing tidbit about her life.  She's worked with hundreds of trans-folks so feel like I'm in good hands.  I just can't believe how much I've done in such a short amount of time, it's a bit disorienting.  I've just been the in closet since I was 25 when I last tried to transition but decided to lock all this trans stuff in the deepest closet of my 20+ year relationship with my wife.    So yeah I'm kinda freaking out about how real it all is and how the day of coming out to folks is very near.   

I actually came out to my sister in early February.  I can't believe I did that.  Anyway she was supportive (yeah), but now it's synced in and communication has been practically nothing (ugh!).  She needs time to process I guess.   But now that she knows the cat is out of the bag if you will.   So that stresses me out as well.   Anyway while I've been able to make a lot of progress in the last two months which is wonderful, but also super anxious about my near future.

Anyway that's on my mind.  Hoping to get some advice over the next few months on how to navigate this crazying thing call transition.

Love,

Kate

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Northern Star Girl

@bonkatie
Dear Kate:
Thank you for posting your updated report....   I did the math from your initial posting back at Christmas Day... you are now at you 4 MONTH point in your HRT regimen since you started HRT in November 2018.... from what you described it looks to me like you are just about on schedule with the changes that HRT can make in the initial few months.
Hang on, there is much more to come as you continue on.   

The following are my own personal experiences of HRT and some of the timelines you "might" expect for yourself as you continue on in your journey.

As has been stated over and over here on the Forums in many of my past comments on various posts, HRT will work uniquely in your own unique body.
What you read about other transitioning members experiences with HRT most likely will not be identical to your own experiences.

Some will experience more significant changes more quickly and then some will experience less significant changes more slowly....   it is all up to your genes and how your body reacts to the HRT.   Your doctor will  undoubtedly be continuing to look at your frequent blood test results during your journey to determine if any alterations in the medically prescribed HRT regimen are needed.

The adage that you have probably already heard regarding HRT and how it may work for various individuals
is "YMMV"  meaning that Your Mileage May Vary.
   
PATIENCE is definitely required.... usually not much happens very quickly with HRT... but changes will happen.  Here on the Forums you might want to do some reading of other transitioners posts and look at many of the posted HRT timelines and the before and after pictures. ....  they can give you a rough idea of what you MIGHT expect as time goes on.

Many times the very first noticeable changes can be felt and seen within the first 3 weeks to a couple months ...
... nipple and breast tenderness, erect nipples a lot of the time, breast bud lumps forming under the nipples and some pain when bumping your nipples.  Also as time goes breast growth may continue and there may be changes in body hair growth, also your own body and urine smell, changes in erections becoming less intense, less libido, etc.

Without a doubt this can be very "EXCITING and SCARY all at the same time."   One needs to hang on for an amazing ride.  Some of my best and most appreciated and dramatic body changes happened at about the  4 to 6 month point through the start of year #2 of my HRT journey.
For me, I did not gain a whole lot in my hips but my breast growth was very good [/color] and after 2 years of HRT my breasts were a C-cup.   
Many will achieve an A or a B cup and some transitioners may possibly achieve a C-cup or even a D-cup.
Even though I was able to very successfully pass before I went full-time... when I did go full-time at the 1 1/2 year mark I have been passing 100% of the time.  Of course that is just my unique experience, I suppose I can thank my body makeup and my genes for all that.

We are here to rejoice with you in the good times and to support you in the not so good times.
One more time.... PATIENCE is required.   The attitude of many people today is "I want it all and I want it now" ... that will not apply to HRT. You might want to re-read what I just wrote so you can get a good grasp of the details that I mentioned.

Regarding your own future progress... things will happen with HRT, but in their own time and in their own ways in your unique body.

I will be looking forward to your continued updates as you feel free to post them.  Please hang in there!
Hugs and well wishes
Danielle
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bonkatie

Danielle,

Thanks for your reply.  Yes it's been about four months and noticing changes.   Butt feels bigger and definite growth in breasts.  My nipples were already pretty developed since the first transition attempt, but they definitely also got a bit bigger.  Anyway all good changes.  I have to say I like having boobs even if tiny. 

Kate


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sarahc

Hey Kate -

Your story sounds so much like mine - known that I'm trans since forever, tried to push it away but now transitioning in my 40s. And moving through the initial steps of transition super fast. Although I'm coming to people slowly and carefully. And like you, I've lost a ton of weight...I've lost 47 pounds in the last six months and I'm down to 167 lbs.  The only difference...I never did get married.

Looking forward to reading more about your transition. I have an HRT journal in my signature below if you want to compare notes - I started HRT 6 weeks ago.

Sarah
----
Known that I am trans since...forever.
First therapy session / decided to transition / hair removal: October 2018
HRT: January 2019 (journal https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244009.0.html)
Hope to go full-time: July / August 2019
FFS / SRS: 2020
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bonkatie

Quote from: sarahc on March 02, 2019, 08:59:10 PM
Hey Kate -

Your story sounds so much like mine - known that I'm trans since forever, tried to push it away but now transitioning in my 40s. And moving through the initial steps of transition super fast. Although I'm coming to people slowly and carefully. And like you, I've lost a ton of weight...I've lost 47 pounds in the last six months and I'm down to 167 lbs.  The only difference...I never did get married.

Looking forward to reading more about your transition. I have an HRT journal in my signature below if you want to compare notes - I started HRT 6 weeks ago.

Sarah
Sarah,

I just read your intro thread and wow we are really in the same situation time wise but it sounds also sounds like in our personal and professional lives as well.  Im having the same thoughts and issues with my professional life.  I feel like everyone is the walking dead, like I'm about to disappear for ever so why bother.   It's weird.  Anyway looking forward to reading your posts.  We are all trans-sisters :-)

Kate


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tgirlamg

Hi Kate!

Welcome at last to the life that is a true reflection of the truth you have carried hidden inside for a lifetime!... I too, started the transition ball rolling after the half century mark and am a product of SoCal... I think you will find the years ahead hold amazing discoveries for you and a connection to your life you have never truly experienced!!!... All shall be well... Focus not solely on a destination but, enjoy each and every step as you claim your life...  it is an experience not to be missed.

Please feel free to contact me if you feel I can ever be of help along the way!

Onward we go brave sister!!!


Ashley 🙋‍♀️🌻💕
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻
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bonkatie

@tgirlamg thanks for the well wishes and your offer.  Yes it's been a wonderful ride so far.  I'm trying to be in the moment as much as possible and embrace the emotional challenges and celebrations along the way.   

Kate


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bonkatie

So here is the next decision I have to make specially around HRT.  I'm hoping to get some advice. 

I'm currently on estrogen pellets and dutasteride, no spiro.  I'm considering two things.  The first is an orchi.  I'm really wanting to do it for both health (no AA) and emotional reasons.  But also thinking I will have better feminization results at my age (50) if I have the orchi and let the estrogen do it's thing with less T in my system.  Is this the case?  Any quantitative evidence for this?   

The second question is, should I start taking progesterone?   My doc has it as part of his regimen and is asking me about it. But my therapist says there's not much evidence that it improves feminization and will only make me fat.  So forego the progesterone and get bigger implants when the time comes she recommends.  Yes its supposed to make fat grow in right places and improve my libido, but will also make me fatter in general and of course since I'm working on losing weight so that's not ideal either.  Does anyone have any advice?  What's the optimum solution to maximize feminization with these variables? 

Kate


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Dena

I am making an assumption of the country your located it but I suspect the pellets will be bumped until you have sufficient estrogen to block the T. If your T is within the feminine range, an Orchi isn't needed to reduce your T levels. It really depends on on your blood tests show your T level is. If you can't suppress the T, then consider a blocker or an Orchi.
Rebirth Date 1982 - PMs are welcome - Use [email]dena@susans.org[/email] or Discord if your unable to PM - Skype is available - My Transition
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Anne Blake

Hello Kate,

I started transition late in life at age 67. My doctor started me on Spiro and estradiol and my body reacted well. After six months we added progesterone. I continued growing and filled out well but I can't say if it was the addition of the progesterone or not, either way I plan to stay on it for another year and then try dropping it.

As for weight issues, before I started transition four years ago my body was lean and muscular (lots of gym and bicycle time). Since then I have begun hrt, had GCS, dropped the Spiro, had foot surgery (still quite limiting to exercise), got married (to my partner of 35 years), done lots and lots of traveling, ....and put on 30 pounds. I can't say what the primary drivers for the added weight were but I blame it on a combination of age, reduced activity and reduced drive or energy probably due to changing from testosterone to estrogen. My foot is now healing and I plan to become a regular fixture at the gym and lose those pounds. I personally and subjectively don't believe that the progesterone was a key player in this problem.

Good luck with your choices and enjoy this magic ride!

Tia Anne
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bonkatie

Okay it's been a while since I've updated my thread.  I guess two months to be exact.   Anyway here are my latest updates.  Again it's been a busy few months.  I've gone into full transition mode, well it just seems I'm constantly going from one appointment to another.  Electrologist, LHR, therapy, Doctors, etc. 

Let's first update the body stuff.  In my last update I think i said I was 175lbs.  I'm now down to 168 as of this morning's weigh-in.  About 3.5lbs/month at this point.  Not super fast, but consistent weight loss over time so happy with that. Muscle loss, fat loss? I don't know but glad it's going in the right direction.   I've been running on a threadmill and cycling, along with basically going vegan/pescetarian I don't know what I am, but am super limited carbs and no red meat, chicken, dairy, etc.  Today I've also noticed that I've gone from a size 14 to size 12.  Maybe 10 is next?  Fingers crossed. 

In early April, I had my orchiectomy and now almost a month later finally feel like everything is healed and behind me.  I'm super happy with the fact I don't have testicles.  Why didn't I do this earlier?  This has been something that took me thirty-six years!  I recall being fourteen and standing over the toilet wondering how I could cut them off and how much it would hurt.  Just a thought and not something I acted on, but now years later it's finally done.  Anyway, what I love is knowing that in a room of women and me, there are no male gonads.  That makes me feel like I belong more somehow.   Plus underwear fits much better now :-) which is a total bonus!

So what else, oh I also went on a business trip to NYC and extended my stay for the weekend in order to meet with a trans-woman focused stylist.  Loved her!  Anyway met up and she did my make-up and helped me choose some of my outfits and we went out to lunch in the East Village.   This was my official first time going outside as a woman.  The last time I wore a dress in public I was a princess for Halloween when I was 17 years old.  My girlfriend at the time and I went trick or treating together.  Yeah, been a while....  Anyway I definitely didn't pass, but it honestly the experience wasn't that bad.  I just really enjoyed our lunch talking about this and that getting to know each other.  I completely forgot about how I was dressed or what I looked like.  We just had a great lunch.  Anyway it felt good.  I plan on visiting her again the next time I'm in town. 

New house.  I'm also in escrow on a new home.  I'm closing next week and will be moving in at the beginning of June.  I can't wait!  This is going to be Kate's home!  I can't wait to decorate it and make it mine.  This will be my first own home.  Recall I'm recently divorced after 20+ year relationship.   It's all mine, and I can do whatever I want in it.  Can't wait!!

Today I had more LHR, and tomorrow going to another electrologist appointment.  And so I continue to run on the transition treadmill...

Things are definitely going in the right direction and I feel very blessed because of it.  I'm starting to believe!

Anyway that's my latest update.   

Love,

Kate

 

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bonkatie

Today I had a nice moment. I went to get a sip of water from my glass on the night table and noticed my lipstick stain.  That was a first for me and now a memory worth keeping :-).

Kate




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AnneK

Quote from: bonkatie on March 04, 2019, 09:18:38 PM
I'm currently on estrogen pellets and dutasteride, no spiro.  I'm considering two things.  The first is an orchi.  I'm really wanting to do it for both health (no AA) and emotional reasons.  But also thinking I will have better feminization results at my age (50) if I have the orchi and let the estrogen do it's thing with less T in my system.  Is this the case?  Any quantitative evidence for this?

I've got 15 years on you and also on Estradiol and Dutasteride.  Quite frankly, I'm surprised at how much my breasts have grown in just over 4 weeks on HRT.  One thing I've mentioned here a couple of times, but no-one seems to have an answer for is whether over 2 years on Dutasteride gave me a head start in the physical changes.
I'm a 65 year old male who has been thinking about SRS for many years.  I also was a  full cross dresser for a few years.  I wear a bra, pantyhose and nail polish daily because it just feels right.

Started HRT April 17, 2019.
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bonkatie

Quote from: AnneK on May 16, 2019, 01:26:08 PM
I've got 15 years on you and also on Estradiol and Dutasteride.  Quite frankly, I'm surprised at how much my breasts have grown in just over 4 weeks on HRT.  One thing I've mentioned here a couple of times, but no-one seems to have an answer for is whether over 2 years on Dutasteride gave me a head start in the physical changes.

I can't Imagine it making things worse, so it must be. 




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bonkatie

Today I had another transition moment.  I have two iPhones one for work (boy mode) and one for me, Kate.  Anyway today I noticed that my boy phone doesn't recognize Kate's face!, while Kate's phone opens up right away. I guess apple's FaceID now sees two separate people.  I can only assume that means progress [emoji4]

Love,

Kate


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bonkatie

Ok, another revelation today.  When looking in the mirror after coming home from work in ,,boy mode" I think I just look awful but then I put on a dress and wig, (No makeup) and think to myself.  Hmm I like the way I Look.  It's like my perspective has shifted.  Now the default is I look better (def. not pretty) as a woman than a man. And now when I'm wearing men's clothes I feel like I'm in drag.  Is this the proverbial ,,point of no return" that people have been asking?  Have I crossed the Rubicon on the path to becoming a woman?  Is this reminiscent to those ahead of me on this crazy path?

Love,

Kate
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