I am back! I am just going to paste what I wrote four months ago as an intro. Everything is about the same. I am sure glad to be back! Here is my previous intro:
"Pretender! That is the word that has described me for all my life. I am now 63 years old and I am tired of pretending. I never would have dreamt that I would be writing this introduction. Yes, I have gone in the chat room several times, but this kind of makes my being a member official. I am excited and nervous.
Why do I say pretender? I have been a pretender all my life. When I was a child and a teen, I pretended to my family and friends that I was a normal male. I didn't ever express I felt like I was girl to them. I would crossdress on the sly.
When I went to college, I thought by becoming a Christian that would take care of the problem, but I couldn't stop thinking that I was a girl. I soon became very good at pretending to be a male
Of course, marriage followed. I have pretended all these years to my family. The kids know nothing about Marsha. My wife knows that I have had these desires, but she thinks that they are gone. I am still pretending.
Also, I am involved in Christian ministry. Everybody to whom I minister, see me as a spiritual person. They know nothing about the fact that I am a pretender. If I was truly known I would lose it all.
The worse person to whom I pretend is myself. I have gone all these years thinking that one day I would be rid of Marsha. I have been scared to admit to myself that truly I am a woman. I know in my heart that truly I am a woman, but it is so hard to accept a life where everyone will finally see me for who I really am. I don't think anybody that I know will truly accept me. However, I am tired of pretending. I do want to be myself so very badly.
I am so glad for the people I have already met in the chat. I am so excited about the people whom I will meet through this forum. I am so looking forward to making friends!"
With Love Marsha, Hopefully soon to be no longer a pretender.
