Yeah, it's been a while since I've used this site and the forums. But I'm getting pretty desperate.
I really want to have ddd breasts, without implants. I'm trans so I've always wanted large breasts without implants. I've seen a few MTF people with big boobs naturally, that look natural anyway, and I really, really want to be one of them. Ever since i was a teen and fantasized about being a girl, i would always envision myself with huge breasts. Even now, I still have visions and fantasizes of having large breasts and doing certain things, being certain places, showing sexy cleavage, etc. This is my dream and having my breasts at a certain size means all the world to me! It's the most fundamental part of the reclamation of my womanhood!
But now it seems everything I tried seems to thwart my attempt to achieve my dream, and this desire seems to elude me. In terms of manifesting, i tried manifesting bigger breasts. I have too much resistance. I guess it's because I want it too much. I've seen other women manifest larger breasts. I've also been trying Noogleberry after a long hiatus. I got the breast pumps back in late September, I went for one whole month and didn't get any results from it. What a waste of $70-$80! After that i put it away and didn't use it for a while, but I started back on it at the beginning of this week to try for at least three months. Now I'm getting discouraged after hearing a few people say it doesn't work. I've even seen one person say they tried it for a whole YEAR and didn't get results! I feel like stopping the Noogleberry... again. Maybe i'll sell it on eBay and get at least some of my money back.
I can't tell you guys how much having bigger breasts mean to me but it's enough that i've even felt suicidal over not being able to have bigger breasts and being stuck with A-cup breasts. I hate not having full-sized breasts. If i did get ddd breasts naturally, i would've beaten this stigma that trans women don't grow full-sized breasts naturally... and that i have bigger implant-free boobs that some naturally-born women! I also wanted larger areolas and have my nipples be able to secrete milk but secreting milk i can easily let go of until my next life. But at the very least i want my larger breasts that look real. I've always wanted that.
I don't like the shape or the look of implants, and I'm in no way knocking people who've had implants. But i don't want them because they don't feel or look right. I won't be able to show cleavage and i wouldn't have experience the breast development that naturally-born females do. If I had to choose between 1: having the ddd breasts i've dreamed of for a very long time with the only catch being i can't ever get bottom surgery or 2: i am allowed bottom surgery but i can't ever get bigger breasts unless i get implants, i'd pick Option 1... HANDS DOWN!
I want to wear certain clothes, show a lot of cleavage, and have my breasts bounce and jiggle all over the place while i'm out and about so in a last-ditch effort, I guess i will ask is this one final time, is there anything i can do? Is it even remotely possible to get my bigger boobs? Or am i doomed to have to get implants and wait until my next life to have big breasts?
