Hi everyone,
just to update, I have seen a therapist since late January this year and came out to her that I am a transgender woman. After about a month, my therapist recommended I have my wife come in to see where she is at with everything (she only knew about cross dressing). I had followed some of the advice posted on the site, I made sure Valentines day was extra special and have tried to make her feel loved. I got to the point that I came out to wife which led to many nights crying and struggling with emotions.
After about a week or so, I was feeling really happy because I felt like maybe we would be one of the lucky couples that could last the storm. When I talked to my wife via text or over the phone, I get someone that's willing to listen and give things a try. We even spoke about going to a local LGBT center to sit in on a Transgender support group. But when I come home from work, I get someone who is in deep denial as if we didn't mean anything that happened and expects everything to go back to "normal".
About 2 weeks ago I was even given a hallmark card when I got home from work. She wrote several paragraphs about how deep our love was and that she will try to work things out together with me but the final two sentences were "If you could make it through the first 14 years with me as you were, I know you can keep on doing it for me and the kids." I felt like I was stabbed in the heart and proceeded to walk away not saying a thing and sobbing in bed. She later apologized and said she didn't mean it like that but could not explain what she really meant by it. We would spend the weekend barely looking at each other or communicating.
I broke down and told her Ill try to do what she wants (present as a male 24hr).
Deep down I know I'm ready for HRT though and expressed this to my therapist. My therapist has had me try to get my wife to come back in to talk more and try to help but my wife is no longer interested and has even suggested changing therapists.
She doesn't have a lot of friends and she keeps to herself a lot. I tried asking if she would want a referral to see a therapist just to talk to someone about what's on her mind but to no avail.
Lately I have been working on a plan B which kills me, which is to become separated, move back in with my folks til I get settled again and worse of all, not be able to see my two awesome kids everyday.
Am I in the wrong here? Is there anywhere I can do a better job? Does this all sound just way too familiar? :c
thanks for reading
Sabrina