What does HRT feel like?

[Rae321]

I have my first appointment with my GP this next week to talk about hormonal options.  Not doing anything yet because I need my husband behind me, or at least informed.  But my GP that I've seen for 15 years just happens to run a gender clinic and sees a lot of trans patients I guess.  So i'm going to get the details and maybe the initial bloodwork but what can I really expect, both good and bad.  I love reading about the excitement of feeling the body feminize (breast pain/growth, hips growing, skin softening, smells changing, etc) but I'm really curious about how it felt inside when that hormonal balance shifted.  Did the first month make you feel crazy, were your emotions a roller coaster, did you cry more or less, did you sleep better or worse? I have this childish daydream that it will be like falling in love with myself for the first time and I'll suddenly not want to die anymore and life will be vibrant and perfect all the sudden but I realistically know that can't be the reality and I'm interested in what the reality is of how it feels for the first few months of HRT. Would anyone like to share how HRT felt for you? thanks.

[Dani]

Personal experiences vary from one person to another, so what I experienced may or may not apply to you.

I felt wonderful the first few weeks on Estradiol. It is what I needed.

I felt a slight pleasant sensation in my lips and I was at peace with the world. Nothing bothered me. Life became worth living for the first time in my life.

Later on came the breast tenderness, but that was not too bad, just a slight discomfort, especially when I bumped into something unexpectedly.

After being on HRT for over 4 years now, it just seems so good and correct for my well being.

[KathyLauren]

Well, with anything HRT-related, YMMV: your mileage may vary.  Some people feel an immediate, overwelming sense of emotion, others don't.

For me, it was subtle.  My male guise had always felt oppressive.  That feeling quickly vanished, and I felt happy to be myself.  I realized that I had literally never in my life felt joy before, and now I did.  My whole life feels lighter and brighter.  It didn't all happen at once: it kind of snuck up on me over a couple of months.

I was always pretty emotional for a guy, so I don't feel emotions a whole lot stronger than before.  Maybe a bit.  But I do cry more readily, and I feel less self-conscious about it.

Good luck with your HRT appointment!

[Jeal]

I have my first appointment with my GP this next week to talk about hormonal options.  Not doing anything yet because I need my husband behind me, or at least informed.  But my GP that I've seen for 15 years just happens to run a gender clinic and sees a lot of trans patients I guess.  So i'm going to get the details and maybe the initial bloodwork but what can I really expect, both good and bad.  I love reading about the excitement of feeling the body feminize (breast pain/growth, hips growing, skin softening, smells changing, etc) but I'm really curious about how it felt inside when that hormonal balance shifted.  Did the first month make you feel crazy, were your emotions a roller coaster, did you cry more or less, did you sleep better or worse? I have this childish daydream that it will be like falling in love with myself for the first time and I'll suddenly not want to die anymore and life will be vibrant and perfect all the sudden but I realistically know that can't be the reality and I'm interested in what the reality is of how it feels for the first few months of HRT. Would anyone like to share how HRT felt for you? thanks.

Hi Rae,

I am only a short ways in myself!  I was on Spiro alone for 6 weeks.  Not everyone gets side effects, but it made me dizzy and super tired.  Both of those are 75% gone now, thankfully.  On the plus side, when I started HRT I was elated for a few days, and I have been generally calmer, and less angry/resentful.  My wife and coworker have noticed and commented on it. It does feel like some static or uncomfortable mucky emotional noise has cleared somewhat.

I started Estrogen on Monday, and again, it gave me a big thrill! I am still feeling a high.  My energy is almost back to normal.  I was super eager to start the E, but my doctor has me on a very slow track since I am prone to bad side effects and anxiety.   

My testosterone is sub male now, but not yet quite down to the female range.  My dysphoria has lessened considerably.  I am impatient with how slow I am going - Sort of have to with health issues and a family that is trying to absorb this big change. I've had bad days, but I am really happy I started HRT, and I am much more committed to transition.  I was very afraid the drugs what make my anxiety, insomnia and depression worse, but on the whole they are better, particularly the anxiety. A couple of months ago it seemed to take a lot more effort cry and to get it out and I would be exhausted afterwards.  Now, I have days where I am crying several times a day(Disney movies get me every time and my daughter thinks I'm nuts ).  Rather than a dam bursting/explosion, it feels more like a gentle release.  I love it.

I am becoming aware that I need to do more to build up my close friendships and support network.  As my emotions come more to the surface, and I am a super sensitive emotional person, I no longer want to hide in my closet, but I feel a little awkward being vulnerable with people.  It is a skill I will have to learn.

I'm only one block ahead of you and there is a long way to go.  I hope my experiences are useful to you

Love,

Jael

[pamelatransuk]

Hello Rae

I have been on HRT 13 months and after one month I recall I felt so calm and peaceful. Shortly thereafter I realized I could both cry and laugh easier and for longer periods. My aggravation diminished. My depression reduced but remains to some extent even after 13 months.

After 3/4 months I knew I was on "the right fuel" and on the transition road.

I am publicly transitioning in Summer.

I wish you happiness and success (whether you chose to pursue HRT now or subsequently).

Hugs

Pamela

[Rae321]

Thank you for your feedback ladies. I think I would like a little bit of all of that. What I would really like is to take it go to sleep and just wake up a woman but I'll take a little of everything described above as a compromise.
those all sound like they would be welcome changes. I'm really hoping for a drop in angst and depression, and a lightening of the horizon a little.  The future doesn't look bleak per se (often it does, but not always) but it definitely looks drab and mechanical right now even when it's looking good.  I can only cry when i'm really pushed like when i think about my life as a man, or my dad passing without me ever telling him this stuff, and when I do it's very disconnected, doesn't go far enough or last long enough, and it's like sex.  Afterwards my emotions are spent and it's like i can't feel anything for a while.  Like i go gray and lose my focus on myself.  I'm not sure what I really expect. Maybe I expect it to make me a train wreck, but from what I've been told so far it seems as though it either works and you start to realize all the ways you were in pain but didn't connect or it doesn't and you feel nothing or worse.  I don't think it would make me think that I was any less a girl inside if I didn't feel better on it, but it sure would be nice and confirmational if I did.  I would be great to feel better, but I'd just like to feel like I'm on the right road and headed in the right direction to someday feel better. I'd settle for a lot of things in relation to what I've got going on right now and in my past. Here's to hoping my husband is willing to go down this road with me.  Tonight's the 'talk'; a little cheese and wine and some fruit, some snuggling, and some remembering how/why we got here and where the future can take us.
Wish me and my waterproof mascara some luck. <3<3<3

[Jeal]

Thank you for your feedback ladies. I think I would like a little bit of all of that. What I would really like is to take it go to sleep and just wake up a woman...

I SO feel you.  Sometimes I have dreams where I am a woman.  I wake up elated, and then sometimes super depressed when it sinks in it was just a dream

I have an affirmation on my wall "A dream is not a goal, it is a direction".  It is liberating  to be moving in the right direction at least.

Here's to making our dreams come true 

[Sophiaprincess2019]

...Would anyone like to share how HRT felt for you? thanks.

Rae, my experience was as follows: First 2 weeks for me was the best and the worst at the same time. One day I'd get the laughing at everything feeling, euphoric floating on clouds tip-toeing along in a beautiful sun dress princess sparkling in the sun feeling. Next minute I wanted to say nasty things about anyone who crossed my path. That lasted first 2 weeks for me. The like a light switch, the euphoria was over and I felt no emotions associated with taking spiro and Estrogen again. Mind you I'm on an EXTREMELY high dose of E and more "normal" dose of spiro in pill form; my Endo said we should shoot for the highest dose of E I could stand, we could always back that off if the mood swings got out of control. But since things have leveled off for me nicely I'm now keeping my high doses right where they are.
I do have sore breasts but very little strange nipple sensations.

I'm a rare case with the high dose. I had extensive cardiac testing (echo cardiogram), blood work, stress testing with contrast, also without, chest CT (with and without contrast), a pulmonary function test and all those tests came back with outstanding results. The cardiologist said I have the cardiac function of someone in his/her early 30's (I just turned 50) Combine that with I'm a non-smoker, non-drinker and eat healthy all adds up to the perfect candidate for transition.

So you can see everyone has different experiences. Another woman here said she experienced morning sickness for months. Mine lasted 5 to 6 days then was gone. YMMV (your mileage may vary) as we say dear.

Stay beautiful.

Sophia

[Rae321]

So here i sit with a bottle of spiro feeling elated, scared, relieved, overwhelmed, etc. The implications of the answers I seek become more real by the minute.  Am I ready to be me? Can I really do it? Am i really ready to hide for another 20 years until I truly hate myself? Is god real and this all a sick and twisted test for me? Of course no one can answer these questions but me, however the sensation of sitting here with these minty smelling little white pills rattling around the bottom of this little bottle is a very 'Alice' kind of feeling.  Eat this or drink that, no matter what you do it's a rabbit hole and as life teaches us 'the rabbit hole costs extra'. I guess i should start a journey journal on here to track my progress, changes, and lessons cuz I think the poop just got corporeal. Well ladies, hold my drink as I'm definitely going in, but hold my hand because I think I'm going to cry. Hugs to all of you, i wouldn't have even come this far without you.

[Jeal]

So here i sit with a bottle of spiro feeling elated, scared, relieved, overwhelmed, etc. The implications of the answers I seek become more real by the minute.  Am I ready to be me? Can I really do it? Am i really ready to hide for another 20 years until I truly hate myself? Is god real and this all a sick and twisted test for me? Of course no one can answer these questions but me, however the sensation of sitting here with these minty smelling little white pills rattling around the bottom of this little bottle is a very 'Alice' kind of feeling.  Eat this or drink that, no matter what you do it's a rabbit hole and as life teaches us 'the rabbit hole costs extra'. I guess i should start a journey journal on here to track my progress, changes, and lessons cuz I think the poop just got corporeal. Well ladies, hold my drink as I'm definitely going in, but hold my hand because I think I'm going to cry. Hugs to all of you, i wouldn't have even come this far without you.

Congratulations!! The Matrix has come to my mind more than once in the past few months. It is definitely a down the rabbit hole experience for me!  Have courage friend!


All the best,

Jael

[Drexy/Drex]

Since starting hrt .....i feel at peace with myself .....no longer suicidal

[CynthiaAnn]

The first few months, I experienced an overall calming effect. At about 3 weeks, one of the first things I noticed was my sense of smell was "turned on". I was out for a walk on a summer afternoon, and all the plants and flowers were noticeably more fragrant and meaningful.

Congrats on starting !!

C -

[jkredman]

So here i sit with a bottle of spiro feeling elated, scared, relieved, overwhelmed, etc. The implications of the answers I seek become more real by the minute.  Am I ready to be me? Can I really do it? Am i really ready to hide for another 20 years until I truly hate myself? Is god real and this all a sick and twisted test for me? Of course no one can answer these questions but me, however the sensation of sitting here with these minty smelling little white pills rattling around the bottom of this little bottle is a very 'Alice' kind of feeling.  Eat this or drink that, no matter what you do it's a rabbit hole and as life teaches us 'the rabbit hole costs extra'. I guess i should start a journey journal on here to track my progress, changes, and lessons cuz I think the poop just got corporeal. Well ladies, hold my drink as I'm definitely going in, but hold my hand because I think I'm going to cry. Hugs to all of you, i wouldn't have even come this far without you.

All I can say is this:

After 3 weeks on HRT, I knew I had finally found the right path.

The highs are higher, and yes the lows are lower.  I cry tears of joy, and I cry tears of dispair.  I see color where I only saw shades of Grey.  I better empathize with people where, before, I paid lip service to them.

I found peace.

I'm 5 months on HRT now.   I'm not going back.  People notice the peace I now have.

I say, Congrates.  For me I found a new world where I was happy.   I pray you find your world of happiness.

Kate


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Rae321]

Thank you all so much for you reassurance and encouragement. I certainly don't feel any different yet but i'm only on the second lowest dose of spiro they give and nothing else so i'm not really surprised.  I really can't wait for my follow up next week though. I hope that's when the real learning starts.

[jkredman]

Thank you all so much for you reassurance and encouragement. I certainly don't feel any different yet but i'm only on the second lowest dose of spiro they give and nothing else so i'm not really surprised.  I really can't wait for my follow up next week though. I hope that's when the real learning starts.

As we usually say here when it comes to HRT:  'Your milage may vary!' (YMMV!)

Your endo is your best friend.  When they ask for blood work they're looking to get your T and E into the cis-female range. 

When the labs come back right, the next question will be: 'How do you feel?' When I answered: "Finally at peace with myself!"; she simply smiled.

Kate



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Barri]

I have the same ultra sense of smell I always have had but find some smells less offensive and some now, more so.
I have slightly less pain that always stemmed from that 18" one year growth spurt that ruined literally ALL connective tissue in me.
Happily way less greasy skin/hair.
I don't have to shave my face more than once every 3 weeks anymore.
Never had body hair much but any of that is gone, from legs too.   
A tiny bit more emotional, though I always have been a sentimental movie moment cryer and dont let me get started on FB dog rescue videos...
Oh, yeah...boobs are great.