What no man knows, nor woman tells

[Ann W]

Fans of Bette Davis may recognize the line from Thomas Tryon's Harvest Home.

What fascinating things have you learned about living as a woman that took you by surprise? I'll start:

I never could have imagined what it's like to pass gas while wearing a sanitary napkin. 

[gracefulhat]

1. walking alone at night is sometimes really scary
2. there are ALOT of unspoken fashion rules placed on women by women such as: bobby pins shouldn't be seen, but need to be hidden, otherwise you look "less than". This person will go unnamed but I literally said that's ridiculous! I have had many many many such rules shared with me by many women in my life since coming out and each time it's like, wtf. However, I still try to follow them😑
3. Wearing a bra sucks! Especially for 10 hours at work. Sometimes I'm like f*** this and take it off
4. How did I ever survive without a purse!

[Rachel]

When you pass gas the gas can go up and vibrate the minora.

Keeping your legs together keeps odors at bay.

You can smell testosterone on a guy from 5 feet away. A gaggle of guys and you can smell it when entering into a room.

[Tribble]

When you pass gas the gas can go up and vibrate the minora.

Keeping your legs together keeps odors at bay.

You can smell testosterone on a guy from 5 feet away. A gaggle of guys and you can smell it when entering into a room.

That's what that smell is?

[Michelle_P]

That's what that smell is?

Androstenol, with production linked to testosterone levels.  Yeah, it seems to me something folks running on estradiol can sense readily.  Sensitivity appears to be related to monthly cycle timing in fertile cisgender women. 

More weird trivia, that men do but seem utterly unaware of, and I have never heard commented on by women...

Men seek to unconsciously gaze at a spot a bit below the neckline on women.  They will say they aren't but they do, they do...

Older men walking along expect that women will step out of their path.  Failing to do so produced an interesting reaction when I tested it, where the gent damn near collided with me, looked startled, mumbled "Excuse me", and stepped around me.

Manspreading is a thing, even when walking.  Legs apart, arms swinging wide even when moving slowly, men seem to take up twice the space as women on the sidewalk.

[Tribble]

Androstenol, with production linked to testosterone levels.  Yeah, it seems to me something folks running on estradiol can sense readily.  Sensitivity appears to be related to monthly cycle timing in fertile cisgender women. 

Ah.  I thought it was Axe Body Spray.



You WILL get less respect for your opinions/space (as above)/knowledge/just about everything.

There's a good chance that animals will appreciate you more.  A lot of cats and dogs I've known hated men but have always loved me and all other women around.  As a matter of fact, during the last few years, I haven't gotten estrogen due to my bigotry-induced menopause and my own cats have spent very little time on my lap.  On the other hand, once I started taking it again a little over two weeks ago, they've been on my lap constantly again.  They don't lay on my husband's lap at all, ever.

[Ann W]

Older men walking along expect that women will step out of their path.  Failing to do so produced an interesting reaction when I tested it, where the gent damn near collided with me, looked startled, mumbled "Excuse me", and stepped around me.

That's interesting, Michelle. I wonder how many of these "unspoken but just known" standards there are.

This one that you mentioned is of particular interest to me, because I've noticed the same thing going the other way. I spend a lot of time walking for exercise at the local mall, sometimes when stores are open. I don't pass; and, many times, one or more young cis women will cross my path, forcing me to stop or change direction to avoid running into them. It's as if they see a male and assume he'll give way. The few times I haven't stood aside, I've been met with surprise.

[Linde]

Manspreading is a thing, even when walking.  Legs apart, arms swinging wide even when moving slowly, men seem to take up twice the space as women on the sidewalk.

After I had my orchi, I started to walk more like models, almost one foot in front of he other.  I do not do that on purpose, it just happened and I watched myself with surprise doing this!  It could be with this stuff missing between my legs, I can get them closer together and walk like this, too? 
Now that all the T seems to have left my system, I feel way more feminine than I ever did before!

[Artesia]

You can smell testosterone on a guy from 5 feet away. A gaggle of guys and you can smell it when entering into a room.

How would you describe the scent?

There's one guy at work who has a strong musty smell to him.  The other guys just smell sweaty, like how my arm pits used to smell after work. 

[Tribble]

After I had my orchi, I started to walk more like models, almost one foot in front of he other.  I do not do that on purpose, it just happened and I watched myself with surprise doing this!  It could be with this stuff missing between my legs, I can get them closer together and walk like this, too? 
Now that all the T seems to have left my system, I feel way more feminine than I ever did before!

That might be for some, but I know I've generally walked one-foot-in-front-of-the-other my entire life.  Enough so that I've wondered if certain fitness equipment is actually really, really bad for people's knees.  My own orchi did not have an effect on the way I walk, then again, our details may differ.

Ann, when you're experiencing the reactions you're getting with women, how are you presenting?  I hate to even bring this up, but you say you don't pass, could it be a power play?  People, in general, are jerks.  I will say that no one has ever felt the need to move out of my path.  Not men, women...no one.  Before or after transition.

[Linde]

I will say that no one has ever felt the need to move out of my path.  Not men, women...no one.  Before or after transition.

Can size matter here?  I am 6', and most men and women move to the side for me, because I don't.  Do they sense this?  I did not move when I presented male, and did not change this now as female!

[Tribble]

Can size matter here?  I am 6', and most men and women move to the side for me, because I don't.  Do they sense this?  I did not move when I presented male, and did not change this now as female!

Maybe.  I'm 5'7" and I think I've only shrunk about an inch in the last 16 years if that.  I was also never very forceful in my presence and generally "polite", so you may just be right.

[Harley Quinn]

I have learned that the bigger your breasts get, the less you show them off. 

Larger breasts limit the clothes you can wear... anything with a high waist will make you look fairly thick if you're the least bit "endowed". 

Like bra size, shoe size is subject to interpretation...   

[CynthiaAnn]

How effective deference really is in the work place 

I use it wisely !

How great it feels to hike and bike post op, it's a subtle difference, but wow does it ever remind me how glad I am to have a vagina !

Having men's attention, It was something I had to get used to at my age. I like girls mostly and am married, men are far more friendly today, and it's an adjustment. I usually always let them speak first...

C -

[NatalieRene]

How would you describe the scent?

There's one guy at work who has a strong musty smell to him.  The other guys just smell sweaty, like how my arm pits used to smell after work.

In my experience it's a musky scent.

Can size matter here?  I am 6', and most men and women move to the side for me, because I don't.  Do they sense this?  I did not move when I presented male, and did not change this now as female!

This seems more like a dominance thing. I tend to get out of the way if I can continue to move. If it looks like I'll have to stop I'll literally stare them down and keep moving because I consider it rude to obstruct or impede my flow to the point where I would have to stop. I will not tolerate it and my claws come out.

[Linde]

If it looks like I'll have to stop I'll literally stare them down and keep moving because I consider it rude to obstruct or impede my flow to the point where I would have to stop. I will not tolerate it and my claws come out.

Size without showing claws, seems to work well enough for me.  I tend to wear heels between 2" to 4" high, and that, of course also helps with size, and makes me taller than many men!
I also think it has to do a lot with determination, I am a very assertive person in all walks of life, I don't know if others can sense this?  If not, they better be fast learners!

[Ann W]

After I had my orchi, I started to walk more like models, almost one foot in front of he other.  I do not do that on purpose, it just happened and I watched myself with surprise doing this!  It could be with this stuff missing between my legs, I can get them closer together and walk like this, too? 
Now that all the T seems to have left my system, I feel way more feminine than I ever did before!

This is fascinating; thanks for sharing!

I haven't had any surgery; but something really wonderful in this vein occurred about a month ago. When I go walking, I listen to music; and, for some reason, listening to Abba makes me feel really feminine. I was just walking along, feeling girly, when I noticed I was walking with my toes pointed straight ahead, which isn't "natural," at least for me. The effect is similar to wearing heels: the hips sway more than usual, giving me an altogether more delicious gait. And this was completely unconscious!

Since then, I've been trying to pep up my walk. I found a great video on YouTube that shows how models walk; proper posture helps to emphasize the breasts, which is a great help to my figure, at present. The one point at which I refuse to conform is in the hip department. Models, apparently, are supposed to keep their hips straight. Well, not this girl! My presentation needs all the help it can get!

Ann, when you're experiencing the reactions you're getting with women, how are you presenting?  I hate to even bring this up, but you say you don't pass, could it be a power play?  People, in general, are jerks.  I will say that no one has ever felt the need to move out of my path.  Not men, women...no one.  Before or after transition.

I never thought of that. I just thought they were disrespecting me because of my genetics. I think this used to happen before I transitioned, too; so, it's not a matter of female competition. I suppose it could be simple rudeness and not gender-related. I've always been sensitive to female prerogatives; I felt discriminated against when I still thought I was male. There was probably no small amount of envy involved.

[NatalieRene]

Size without showing claws, seems to work well enough for me.  I tend to wear heels between 2" to 4" high, and that, of course also helps with size, and makes me taller than many men!
I also think it has to do a lot with determination, I am a very assertive person in all walks of life, I don't know if others can sense this?  If not, they better be fast learners!

I don't have that sort of size to command that kind of thing. I have since learned just get too close for comfort and people will move. It works at the airport for getting power outlets and it works getting down crowded halls to get to the gate to make a connection.

Carry on luggage can be used like the thing on the front of the train to push stragglers out of the way. Just say excuse me and push your way right through without stopping.

[Linde]

And that shows that you are sure of yourself, confident and assertive!  Good girl!@

[NatalieRene]

And that shows that you are sure of yourself, confident and assertive!  Good girl!@

I've been told I'm pushy but that person just missed the connection and I didn't.