I have been presenting as female in my clothes nearly fulltime for a while, but haven't made real strides with transitioning. So, I don't really pass, but I'm kind of pretty and can fool 'em sometimes
I joke, but I do take the implications of this seriously.
One of my male neighbors surprised me a while back, and asked me on a movie date. I wasn't dressed sexy, but was wearing a skirt and makeup at the time, and Im not sure what he thought I was.
I froze. Didn't know what to say at the time. Later I regretted not being friendlier. He seemed lonely, but a solid guy. He was older, and I liked him.
The man (will call him Dan) had a dog, and we continued to always say hi when out on walks. The way our apt building is laid out, our porches were the only ones in view of each other, and we shared the wall between our bedrooms.
But when I knocked on his door one day to talk to him about it, Dan freaked out and scared me away.
He was a marine and a Vietnam combat vet, with stress issues related to that I believe, and I wanted to immediately get out of his way.
We still continued to say hello, and my cat and his dog were porch buddies.
A few weeks back, Dan killed his dog and stabbed himself in the neck 3 times. He's gone now. Pretty sure I couldn't have helped him, but he did reach out to me. I fantasized about making him dinner and picking up his apt. It is possible that he would have harmed me too.
Not to center their tragedy on myself at all, but men and women seem to come into my life when they are feeling, and doing, bad things.
I feel bad for him, and worse for his poor dog.
