When I transitioned in 2003 one of the first things I started dedicating myself to was my voice. Even more so than my face. I was
horrible at first. I heard a recording I made back then a couple of days ago. Ufda! Scary.
Then, something clicked. I thought I sounded pretty decent. Good, in fact! I had issues with anxiety and tensing up when I was nervous, so my parents, and especially my dad, never ended up hearing my "real" female voice.
The problem is that I never made a recording of myself using that voice...until a couple of nights ago.
I guess it's time to start my training all over again. Sure, I can pass on the phone well enough that I've nearly had people with access to my birth gender designation question that I was who I said I was and hang up! However, in reality, I guess I really don't sound very convincingly cis at all.
There are some good things to report, though. I was on top of the world yesterday after a wonderful focus group at my informed consent clinic the other night. In the middle of telling my mom all about it I let her know that my voice is
horrible and that I need to work on it. She told me that my voice sounded perfectly natural just then. So, the good news is that I can sound convincingly cis when I'm in a great mood and excited, but if I'm nervous or down or need to be quiet, I revert back to the classic trans voice. Ugh.
I'm starting this thread in the hopes that I'll post further examples of my voice as I continue to research methods, practice, practice, practice, and hopefully, one day, start official voice coaching or therapy.
I've
never been able to carry a tune so I don't have much hope that I'll one day be a beautiful singer, but perhaps I'll be able to gain a confidence in my voice that even if I'm nervous I'll be able to use it properly.
For starters, here's an example of me needing to be somewhat quiet the other night while my husband slept (this house has thin wall syndrome):
https://soundcloud.com/daxix/voicelesson02/s-GVd3iI hope to have another, better example soon. Possibly even tonight.
