Really need some advice from the post op community regarding GCS plans

[Michelledeanna1989]

So I might the psychiatrist that is going to write one of
My letters for GCS  I'd need one more.  The second is probably another
6-8 weeks away.  I should mention I'm Canadian so the cost of surgery's are
Covered except for FFS. With GCS the wait time is one year and my surgery
Will be in Montreal with doctor Bassard.  When I did my Intake yesterday
To receive my letter..  she looked over my letter for HRT and my medical history
And she mentioned doing a Orthtitomy first.  Because i have a kidney disease
And her concern that she brought up was  that spirolactone is taxing on my kidneys
And having a orthictomy would mean I could get of spiro sooner.  She also mentioned
The wait for GCS is one year and and an extra 6 months if I have an Orthitomy I could have that
Surgery done in 6-8 weeks.  I thought I wanted surgery but now I don't know
I hardly slept last night.. I thought that is what I wanted but after my appointment
Yesterday I really am unsure part of me really wants too.  Then another part me doesn't
I worry about say 10 years from now regretting it or worse the moment I wake up from
Surgery.  Or what if I just waited one year and if in a few months I change my mind
I can just back out of surgery..  till after my appointment yesterday I felt I knew now I'm
Questioning everything.. I really could use some advice from others who have been threw this
If it's just nerves or do I need to do some soul searching and figure this out..
no regrets at all with transition at all.  I could really use so advice from others who have
Been threw this process

Thanks 

[Devlyn]

Yeah, I continued to wrestle with the "But what if I end up realising that I was wrong?" question all the way through. Do your mental calculations until you reach a decision, and go with it. And know that it's normal for a piece of your mind to balk at an irreversible surgery.

Hugs, Devlyn

[EllenJ2003]

I'm 15 plus years post-op.  I never had any doubts or misgivings about having SRS.  Nevertheless, if you have any doubts about having it, it would prudent for you to back away from having the surgery.  IMO, NOBODY, should ever have SRS if they have any doubts and misgivings.  Maybe the feelings will go away, but if they don't, and you've had the surgery, it could be devastating for you.  Back away for now, and wait and see if the doubts and misgivings go away.  If they don't, then SRS just isn't for you.

[Maybebaby56]

Hello Michelledeanna,

Are you taking about an orchiectomy? I agree it would make sense in your case, given your medical history.

But I must ask, how did you get a letter from your therapist recommending you for GCS if you are not certain it's what you want?  That's what gender therapy is for - to make sure in your mind that this is absolutely, positively what you need for your mental health and physical well-being. It sounds like GCS is something on your to-do list rather than a primal urge to change your body.

I have to echo the thoughts of the previous poster. If you have any doubts at all, you shouldn't do it. GCS is major surgery.  Recovery is not easy. You will spend the rest of your life taking care of that vagina, so you damn well better want it.

Transition is different things for different people. If you have been living full-time as a female for a year and you don't have a strong sense of genital dysphoria, maybe GCS is not necessary for you to feel good about yourself.  How do you feel about your body now?  What about dating?  Are you into guys?  Is sex important to you? For me, RLE was awful because i was so cognizant of that bulge in my panties. I hated it. I could not wait for the surgery.

All I can tell you is I never, ever had any doubt whatsoever that GCS was what I wanted. That's the space you should be in before you do it, in my opinion.

With kindness,

Terri

[EllenJ2003]

Hello Michelledeanna,

Are you taking about an orchiectomy? I agree it would make sense in your case, given your medical history.

But I must ask, how did you get a letter from your therapist recommending you for GCS if you are not certain it's what you want?  That's what gender therapy is for - to make sure in your mind that this is absolutely, positively what you need for your mental health and physical well-being. It sounds like GCS is something on your to-do list rather than a primal urge to change your body.

I have to echo the thoughts of the previous poster. If you have any doubts at all, you shouldn't do it. GCS is major surgery.  Recovery is not easy. You will spend the rest of your life taking care of that vagina, so you damn well better want it.

Transition is different things for different people. If you have been living full-time as a female for a year and you don't have a strong sense of genital dysphoria, maybe GCS is not necessary for you to feel good about yourself.  How do you feel about your body now?  What about dating?  Are you into guys?  Is sex important to you? For me, RLE was awful because i was so cognizant of that bulge in my panties. I hated it. I could not wait for the surgery.

All I can tell you is I never, ever had any doubt whatsoever that GCS was what I wanted. That's the space you should be in before you do it, in my opinion.

With kindness,

Terri

+1 

I knew a couple of people, who IMO, seemed to feel that they were obligated to have SRS.  They did NOT cope well at all post surgery.  IMO if you really want to have SRS, it's almost like a primal need to have it done.  I hated the male genitals I had with a passion.  I took a huge cut in pay in 2002, due to corporate downsizing, and as a result, with all of the bills I had (some of which were transition related), SRS was looking like an impossibility.  I got so despondent, I almost committed suicide.  Luckily (and unexpectedly) things did improve enough, to the point where I was able to afford the surgery a year later. 

Please don't feel (consciously or unconsciously) that you have to have the surgery out of a sense of obligation to "follow the correct route on the roadmap."

[Mendi]

I didn´t have much genital dysphoria and I still had SRS, just because I could feel a bit more towards normal side and it would enable me to go to swimming halls, use locker rooms without a worry etc etc.

For me, it was a rational decision, not based on dysphoria. I guess I could have lived with the previous equipment too, but then again, it was useless and why carry something which before worker unrealibly and after HRT, didn´t work almost at all.

And yes, I´m happy to my decision.

[Linde]

I did not have much genital dysphoria either, but I just want to be a whole woman.  I had an orchiectomy a little while ago, and the result of this caused a surge of female feeling in me that I now have quite a bit of dysphoria about that little bit of genital left on my body.  I plan to have  SRS as soon as I can afford it.
But without testicles, I am on the path of no return already, and that is the path I want to be on.  My legal identity is already changed to female, and I just wait for the final touches now.
I never had any doubts that this is the way I want to go!
If you are not sure, think it over, because once the balls are gone, you can't go back anymore!

[Michelledeanna1989]

The letter I meant was for HRT
I haven't gotten my first letter for GCS
I was given information to go over with this
Therapist she is new and I've only seen her once
As she is part of my government health plan and my
Normal therapist is private and can't issue those kind of
Letters

After I review the information I will go to my second
Appointment and we will review it. then I will be referred by
Her at that point to another doctor. And she will write my second letter
Should I proceed..  I am also partly nervous I had an appendectomy last
Year. I know the recovery from GCS is a much longer process. But a lot of my
Fears are exactly the same.  As waiting in emergency all day after being told I will need
Emergency surgery later that day that was just under a year ago

I think I honestly fear the recovery. I think I do want surgery
And I'm lucky both are covered so I have that  option without the added costs..
my family is also pressuring me to wait and some of there fears of wanting me to Wait.
Partly is because of there concerns.  They are firm that I need to  be 100% certain
Now to think of it they did the same thing when I came out and started hrt they wanted
Me to be 100% sure and I started second guessing myself..
So this is nothing new it's just a repeat from 14 months ago. 

I don't like what I see down there if feels strange when ever I see it
I think I also was worried about the complications from surgery
Like reading I could die.  But that's a risk with any surgery
And I know it's rare when it happens.  Same thing with my appendix
I was told the risks about surgery and my recovery and I signed some
Forms and then was hauled into the OR and next thing I remember was
Waking up in recovery.  All I can remember is falling a sleep and that's it
Then I recovered really well my GP and nephrologist said Generally there's more
Scaring and I have one that is extremely small maybe a cm in length and that's it. 
But back to gcs

Absolutely have a bulge bugs me it's extremely annoying at times
Trying to find the right clothes it's next to impossible to wear leggings.
And sometimes very uncomfortable.  I think most of how I feel is fear
Of the surgery's in themselves. Everything has already gotten a lot better
My kidney function actually has improved on hrt I'm in the process of stopping
Treatment as it's no longer needed.  I think it's the right choose.  But I will
Speak with my nephrologist she will know what's best.  Oradactomy or
Just wait for GCS.  Being there's risks coming off of kidney medication it' might
Be something she wants me to wait for.. I'm her first trans patient.  But I also know
My dosage of spiro is something that absolutely concerns her. She has prescribed it
For Other reasons.  In lower dosage it's used as a kidney treatment in some people that have low potassium levels due to there kidney issues.   But I don't know a whole lot on that as my kidney
Disease is different then mine..

[Linde]

If you have kidney problems, spiro is not really that you for you.  It is potassium sparing, and that is really bad for your kidneys!.  An orchiectomy would solve the need for spiro, and take care of the bulge in a relatively short time.  I am able to wear any kinds of female bottoms, and have no visible bulge left.  An orchi is not a big operation, and it would not take that much out of your body for recovery.  From the hormonell/medical point of view it is identical to SRS, which would go jut further with the cosmetic surgery aspects.
I think an orchi might be the right thing for you to get ou a bridge time until you would have SRS.  It is for me that way.

[Michelledeanna1989]

If you have kidney problems, spiro is not really that you for you.  It is potassium sparing, and that is really bad for your kidneys!.  An orchiectomy would solve the need for spiro, and take care of the bulge in a relatively short time.  I am able to wear any kinds of female bottoms, and have no visible bulge left.  An orchi is not a big operation, and it would not take that much out of your body for recovery.  From the hormonell/medical point of view it is identical to SRS, which would go jut further with the cosmetic surgery aspects.
I think an orchi might be the right thing for you to get ou a bridge time until you would have SRS.  It is for me that way.

Totally agree it's one less medication long term if I can get
Down to just estrogen progesterone daily and off everything else that would be idea long term

[Linde]

Totally agree it's one less medication long term if I can get
Down to just estrogen progesterone daily and off everything else that would be idea long term

I am on estrogen only.  Many endocrinologists (including mine) are of the opinion that progesterone has no value during the first to years of HRT, because the breast structure has not properly developed yet.

[EllenJ2003]

Totally agree it's one less medication long term if I can get
Down to just estrogen progesterone daily and off everything else that would be idea long term

Yep.  Along with elimination of the bulge between my legs, eliminating the Spiranolactone saved me a goodly chunk of money, and helped reduce stress to my liver (from taking the Spiro).  Also, what was decent breast growth before I had my Orchie, took off like a rocket after it.

Still, like SRS, make sure you really have no issues with having the Orchie.

[Denise]

I've heard and agree with the reasonings that an orchie before helps make GCS recovery easier. 

The only pain I have is with where things were cut above the surgical area.  The Dr and others day that's the orchie that caused that pain.  When I say pain, it's more of a discomfort than actual shooting pain.  But it would have been nice to avoid that additional issue on top of the GCS.

As for "was I sure?" Yes and no. But 12 hours before surgery I broke into uncontrollable tears because I knew, at that point, without a doubt I was doing the right thing.

Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk

[LizK]

Personally I think there are two parts to this. Being concerned about the surgery is one thing. Being concerned about whether or not its right for you is another.

I am just over 5 months post op and I am happy that I had the surgery. I had many concerns about the recovery and the actual physical operation. It took me quite some time to sort the two out in my head. If you are unsure if this surgery is right for you then I urge you to re evaluate your decision. If you are concerned about the "physical stuff" regarding the surgery then all you can really do is ensure you have the best surgeon you can have, make sure you are a fittest and healthiest you have ever been.

I had complicating factors and I can remember confusing my concerns about the physicality of the surgery with whether I really wanted it. Once I separated them and looked at each one then I was able to see that the surgery was "right" for me. This did not dispel my concerns about the recovery, possible complications or the procedure but I was then able to look at each of these.

Liz