Anne! How I've missed you! Such progress for you and Susan! I'm DELIGHTED that things are moving along.
Congratulations on reaching your milestones. Such scary steps, but you are doing so well thinking clearly through them. I looooove that Susan is focusing more on expressing her genuine self, and losing touch with how others judge her. You make me smile from head to toe!
Quote from: Anne T on April 30, 2019, 10:28:16 PM
Hello All,
I have not been on here since February! So much has happened since then. My spouse Susan who is MtF gave me permission to tell her story to my pastors.
Wow! Wow! Wow! This was a huge milestone! You are being so strong, focusing on whether you like their responses, rather than worrying whether they'll approve of you.
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I needed to do this so I know where I stand with my church if I was to continue teaching there. They were very supportive of me and had empathy and compassion for Susan and her story. That is not to say they would welcome her with open arms. I'm still processing what that means myself. I'm leaning toward finding a more accepting church that would welcome both of us with open arms. We also have come out to our three daughters and their spouses and some of our grandchildren too.
Such a relief! I can feel it all the way over here!
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Everyone was very accepting....the oldest was a bit belligerent about past issues at first but was completely accepting about Susan's transition. She's always been a drama queeen with the focus on her. The middle daughter was very loving. The youngest was just as loving and even talked about make up with Susan. Susan was able to talk with two of our grandchildren who were very curious but accepting.
There was a HUGE unexpected result to Susan's coming out. Shortly after we left our youngest daughter's home, her longtime boyfriend and fiancé of 5 years came out to her MtF. It was very bad timing as she was still processing her father's coming out. She has now made the decision to break off the engagement and move back home. It was not our intention to be a catalyst in someone else's coming out. It's very painful for me to see my daughter hurting over this.
I can feel your tension in the pit of my stomach as you wonder how things will work out for your youngest. I feel your concern as you wonder how similar your situation is to your daughter's, and what the differences are. I suspect that her thoughts of moving back home have a lit to do with her compassion for Susan. This is a great time for the two of you to compare similarities and differences between you and her, and between her fiance and Susan.
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I have chosen to stay with my spouse of 22 years despite her transitioning because I simply love the inner person. We have no little children at home and have the freedom to let Susan live the life she was meant to live. Not everyone can do this. It's hard at times and very lonely. I understand why my youngest broke off her engagement to this wonderful man whom she does love. I will support her just as much as I support my spouse in her transitioning. Family and love are very important to me.
Thanks for sharing your updates. Hooray for most of it! And I send comfort for the prickly parts.