Re: The Stephanie Chronicles 2.0

[SassyCassie]

Oh dear! Yes you are right Stephanie. Dang. Well I still thing the men should take the walk, or hike, which ever you prefer

I always thought it was so that we didn't have an endless parade of dudes wandering past the ladies room door, hoping to sneak a peek.

[steph2.0]

This might more appropriately be posted on the Aviation thread, but here it is anyway.

Yesterday @SassyCassie and I took my borrowed plane to a fly-in at a place I'd never been before. It was a classy flying community high above my pay grade, but the food was "donations-requested" and quite good.

I started out flying to an airport near where she lives and picked up her and my waiting Starbucks Mocha, and headed north. We were a little late but there was still plenty of food. We didn't recognize anyone until, while we were eating, our new friends who had hosted the 99s meeting and my presentation last weekend, showed up. They only know Stephanie and Cassie, so I love seeing them. I know that with them - and with all the strangers around us - there will be no possibility of misgendering or deadnaming. It's such a good feeling to not have to worry about that kind of thing. It's just another data point in favor of getting out of the place I live and going somewhere that no one knows us. But I digress.

After lunch we got silly as we posed with a statue at the airport.



On the way back south we got an in-air shot...


We flew back to the airport near Cassie's place, tied down the plane and drove into the local tourist town, where we browsed the shops and had decadent coffee drinks. When we got a warning that weather was headed our way, we skedaddled back to the airport, where I evaluated the radar. I decided that I could get out of there before the storm hit, get around the south side, then fly west to get on the back side of the cell, and follow it in to my home airport. Off I went, circling the storm to the  east and south, and ending up of the west side.



But instead of moving east, as it should have, it instead hovered over home, spreading out in all directions as it slowly dissipated. I throttled back and circled for a while until I got bored, then flew to an airport west of home and landed to wait it out. About 45 minutes later the radar showed a slot opening up, with clear skies over the home strip, and I took off for the 10 minute flight home.



I made it home with plenty of daylight left. As I shared with Cassie: "If you have time to spare, go by air!" Yet it was fun for me. Using my skills and judgement to overcome obstacles is one of the reasons I love flying so much.


Stephanie

[KathyLauren]

Using my skills and judgement to overcome obstacles is one of the reasons I love flying so much.

"A superior pilot is one who uses her superior judgement to avoid situations that would require the use of her superior skills."

[steph2.0]

"A superior pilot is one who uses her superior judgement to avoid situations that would require the use of her superior skills."

Exactly why I went around instead of through!


Stephanie

[KathyLauren]

Exactly why I went around instead of through!


Stephanie

Good move!  I went through, once.

[steph2.0]

Good move!  I went through, once.

Ouch! And that was in a much sturdier plane than I fly!

[steph2.0]

Another day, another toad...

I talked with a vendor whose products I'm a dealer for today. Any business I've done with his company has been via email for the last couple of years. I'd sent an email to get the name changed in the records, but it was done as, "The contact information for our company has changed to Stephanie XXX. Please update your records."

But today I had to talk to him on the phone. After we discussed business, he asked me, "What is your relationship to {deadname}?

Here we go again. Yet he was cool. When I mentioned that it was still awkward to break the news, he said, "It's not awkward at all. It's just nature." Turns out his cousin is FTM.

The way he handled it is a little insight into another culture, since he's from South Africa. He's also fairly young - compared to me, anyway.

I was also gratified that he apparently didn't recognize the voice. We used to talk a lot on the phone and in person.

Except for a small number of vocal haters, people are pretty cool.


Stephanie

[Faith]

vocal haters, I get that. I know I don't really try yet my voice does shift on the phone, couple that with "I'm a ma'am not a sir" and it should all work out, right? NOPE! sir sir sir sir sir ... stop already.

OH, Hi Stephanie. I had to re-bookmark your 2.0 topic due to some misfortune or other. It took me a bit to find it again, at least 30 seconds, so I decided to make some inane reply to let you know.

[steph2.0]

vocal haters, I get that. I know I don't really try yet my voice does shift on the phone, couple that with "I'm a ma'am not a sir" and it should all work out, right? NOPE! sir sir sir sir sir ... stop already.

OH, Hi Stephanie. I had to re-bookmark your 2.0 topic due to some misfortune or other. It took me a bit to find it again, at least 30 seconds, so I decided to make some inane reply to let you know.

Well hi there, Faith. I was worried that you didn't like me any more. Yeah, we had a funky thing happen repeatedly with my thread, but its all better now. I wonder how many others lost track of it? Thanks for making the effort to find me again.


Stephanie

[steph2.0]

Ugh! Gatekeepers!

My squeee reaction to being contacted by Dr. Bowers' office to get started on my GCS insurance paperwork has turned into an ugly slog through coverage Hell. It all looked like it would be pretty easy, since I already had the required letters from two therapists.

It was not to be. The letters have to be dated within six months of the surgery, and both will "expire" before then. I talked with my current therapist and he's been great. He'll write the main one for me (in fact, I pick it up tomorrow), and he recommended a colleague in his clinic for the second one that essentially corroborates the contents of the main one. I met with her last week, and she agreed to write the second letter. Everything seemed to be on track.

But no again. The question came up about what particular training and education requirements were needed by the therapists. Both have masters in their specialties and are very experienced. Dr. Bowers' office seemed to be fine with that. Great!

Not. After some online searching I found the requirements of my insurance company. At least one of the therapists has to have a PhD or be an MD. Neither of the therapists I'd seen are. So I wasted our time and my money on the second one, and have to start over.

The kicker? Both therapists I have the expiring letters from qualify. I guess I'll go back to them and see if they're willing to update their letters so we can move on. It's just a small matter of time and money.

So I repeat: Ugh! Gatekeepers!


Stephanie

[Northern Star Girl]

@steph2.0
Dear Stephanie:
WOW... reading your post sure describes what a confusing mess you are going through....  of therapists, expiring letter dates, educational requirements, etc.
I am so sorry to read of your difficulties dealing with doctors, therapists, insurance companies, etc.....
.... "they" don't make it easy, do they? ! ! 

I trust that you will get it all sorted out.  It sounds like you "should" be able to get updated letters from your original 2 therapists with the acceptable educational requirements unless they require that you jump through more hoops and the time and money expenses of renewed appointments and visits.   
          WHAT ELSE COULD POSSIBlY GO WRONG?

Thanks for sharing your update....  wishing you well with this endeavor of getting things lined up.
HUGS,
Danielle

[CynthiaAnn]

Hi Stephanie, I went through the same thing with Dr Bowers and having valid letters covering the date of surgery, my wait time was 18 months, so I had to get my surgical authorization letters updated to extend out that far. If you are going the insurance coverage route for Dr Bowers, which sounds like you are, might be good to check with your insurance about the Mills Peninsula hospital ambulatory charges for your hospital stay ahead of time (their food was really good there). The hospital billed my insurance 22 K per day and my insurance rejected the claim (said it was too much), putting me the patient in the middle of this. It finally took me 4 months of frustrating phone calls to get my insurance to negotiate with Mills they finally settled for a little less than 11k per day...

Good luck

C -

[steph2.0]

Hi Stephanie, I went through the same thing with Dr Bowers and having valid letters covering the date of surgery, my wait time was 18 months, so I had to get my surgical authorization letters updated to extend out that far. If you are going the insurance coverage route for Dr Bowers, which sounds like you are, might be good to check with your insurance about the Mills Peninsula hospital ambulatory charges for your hospital stay ahead of time (their food was really good there). The hospital billed my insurance 22 K per day and my insurance rejected the claim (said it was too much), putting me the patient in the middle of this. It finally took me 4 months of frustrating phone calls to get my insurance to negotiate with Mills they finally settled for a little less than 11k per day...

According to marcibowers.com they do the surgery at San Mateo Surgery Center. I assumed the three nights spent during recovery would be there. Do they transport you to Mills-Peninsula for recovery?


Stephanie

[CynthiaAnn]

According to marcibowers.com they do the surgery at San Mateo Surgery Center. I assumed the three nights spent during recovery would be there. Do they transport you to Mills-Peninsula for recovery?


Stephanie

Good question, might want to find that out.

My surgery was 3 years ago, it's possible things have changed. I had my surgery right at the Mill Peninsula hospital and recovered there (3 days).

C -

[steph2.0]

Good question, might want to find that out.

My surgery was 3 years ago, it's possible things have changed. I had my surgery right at the Mill Peninsula hospital and recovered there (3 days).

C -

Thanks, CynthiaAnn. I have a lot to learn yet. I've got 134 days (but who's counting) to figure it out. I appreciate the heads-up. Wow, $22k a day...

Stephanie

[KathyLauren]

So I repeat: Ugh! Gatekeepers!

I hear you!  Our insurance here doesn't mind old letters (I think they give you two years), which is a good thing, because of the insane waiting times.  While everyone says they follow WPATH standards, their own private version of WPATH requires one letter to be from a "specialist", specifically an endo, a surgeon or a psychiatrist. 

If your prescribing doctor is on the ball, they will refer you to a shrink, to cover both the "mental health professional" requirement and the "specialist" requirement in one letter.  But I know people who had their two letters all ready to go, but got turned down because neither of them was from one of the required specialists.  One poor lady had to basically start over again, because it took her two years to get an appointment with a shrink.

I got lucky.  My doctor sent me to a psychiatrist in a remote little town several hours' drive away, because she had a "short" waiting list.  It only took me a year to get in.  It was an all-day excursion for a half-hour appointment, but I got my letter, and my application was approved.

But I can definitely relate to the frustration.  Hang in there.  Get whatever paperwork they ask you for.

[CynthiaAnn]

Thanks, CynthiaAnn. I have a lot to learn yet. I've got 134 days (but who's counting) to figure it out. I appreciate the heads-up. Wow, $22k a day...

Stephanie

Sure, glad to chime in here. Best wishes as this most important date approaches...

I had another look at her website on the GAV "what to expect page" and she still uses the word "hospital" on her web page. I would certainly ask Robin / or one of her administrative staff what happens to your partially anesthetized body after their done with you 

http://marcibowers.com/mtf/your-surgery/what-to-expect/

Day of Surgery:

Depending upon the time of your surgery, expect to arrive at the hospital early morning or later morning. Check in. Your family, friends or loved ones can be with you in the Pre-surgery holding area. You will be interviewed by nursing and anesthesia.

[Faith]

Well hi there, Faith. I was worried that you didn't like me any more. Yeah, we had a funky thing happen repeatedly with my thread, but its all better now. I wonder how many others lost track of it? Thanks for making the effort to find me again.
Stephanie

insecurities I know those well hide it with humor oh um not referring to you in any way I would never suggest that I just mean that oh never mind I'll shut up now.

do you know how hard it is to type without punctuation?

referring to your topic, perhaps some nice admin will edit the link in the 1.0 topic so that it properly points to the 2.0

[steph2.0]

do you know how hard it is to type without punctuation?

youthinkthatshardtryitwithoutcapitalizationorspacesafterallyoudidincludeaquestionmark

referring to your topic, perhaps some nice admin will edit the link in the 1.0 topic so that it properly points to the 2.0

Oh, is that the problem? My powers as Oh-fishal Greeter are minuscule, but they do include that. I fixed my own little self.

[TonyaW]

Ugh! Gatekeepers!

My squeee reaction to being contacted by Dr. Bowers' office to get started on my GCS insurance paperwork has turned into an ugly slog through coverage Hell. It all looked like it would be pretty easy, since I already had the required letters from two therapists.

It was not to be. The letters have to be dated within six months of the surgery, and both will "expire" before then. I talked with my current therapist and he's been great. He'll write the main one for me (in fact, I pick it up tomorrow), and he recommended a colleague in his clinic for the second one that essentially corroborates the contents of the main one. I met with her last week, and she agreed to write the second letter. Everything seemed to be on track.

But no again. The question came up about what particular training and education requirements were needed by the therapists. Both have masters in their specialties and are very experienced. Dr. Bowers' office seemed to be fine with that. Great!

Not. After some online searching I found the requirements of my insurance company. At least one of the therapists has to have a PhD or be an MD. Neither of the therapists I'd seen are. So I wasted our time and my money on the second one, and have to start over.

The kicker? Both therapists I have the expiring letters from qualify. I guess I'll go back to them and see if they're willing to update their letters so we can move on. It's just a small matter of time and money.

So I repeat: Ugh! Gatekeepers!


Stephanie

Hi Stephanie, I went through the same thing with Dr Bowers and having valid letters covering the date of surgery, my wait time was 18 months, so I had to get my surgical authorization letters updated to extend out that far. If you are going the insurance coverage route for Dr Bowers, which sounds like you are, might be good to check with your insurance about the Mills Peninsula hospital ambulatory charges for your hospital stay ahead of time (their food was really good there). The hospital billed my insurance 22 K per day and my insurance rejected the claim (said it was too much), putting me the patient in the middle of this. It finally took me 4 months of frustrating phone calls to get my insurance to negotiate with Mills they finally settled for a little less than 11k per day...

Good luck

C -

Was wondering how that 6 month rule works when ive heard that Bowers is scheduling about 2 years out.

I had a consult (not with Bowers) about 3 weeks ago and will have my first appointment with therapist since then tonight. The letters will be the main topic today. I've emailed her the stuff I got from my surgeon (Katherine Gast) so she might have started. You're scaring me with that 6 month thing though.

Steph, do you ever fly your tin can airplanes up to the EAA thing in Oshkosh? Kinda in my back yard so was just wondering.

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