Relationship

[Oliviassecret2019]

Hey ladies.

My finances and I are having a hard time at the moment. I am pre everything and still in the closet. She knows about it all but doesn't accept it. She is hurting at the moment and feels that we are drifting apart. She is being emotionally cold and distant. I want to transition, but I want to keep her as well. What do I do?

[KathyLauren]

It is hard when one's partner in a relationship is not accepting of our transition.

About all you can do is to keep talking.  Take your time.  Sometimes, a partner will come around when they see that you are becoming a happier person.  Sometimes, they don't.

Remember that she is a unique individual, and has a right to her feelings, whatever they are.  That might mean losing her.  Or it might mean deciding not to transition.  Or you might get lucky and have both. 

All you can do is to communicate the best you can, and after that, it is not up to you.

[RobynD]

Ask if she is interested in couples therapy or counseling. I'm a huge fan of therapy.

[Oliviassecret2019]

I am really scared of losing her. I don't think that there is any sexual attraction on either end, I feel like it is a purely romantic relationship. I feel like as more time goes on the more comfortable I feel with being transgender, and in turn the more stress she feels over it. I don't even think that I am sexually interested in women any more.
I have suggested couples therapy but she isn't interested., I know it would help, and I know that it would allow me to open up more.

[Maid Marion]

If you don't talk about it you really aren't having a relationship. 

[MeTony]

I have the same problem.

I told a friend I can't eat the cake and have the cake about my relationship. She said, bake a new cake.

My husband says he can't be with a guy. It is sad but I need to respect that.

Good thing though is that he sees me as a guy and not a woman with a beard (when that decides to appear).

We need to talk about the future, we have two kids. Teenagers. And a home that needs to be split in half. And also economic challenges. He used to buy A LOT on credit cards. We're still paying that off. 5 more years. He has cut all the cards now.

But I don't want to leave him stranded. We still care for each other. We need to settle the economic problems before we split.

Do you care for each other? Or is it like "what ever"?

If you care about each other you need to talk. Communication is the key to solve every problem.

If you lost the feelings for each other, you still need to communicate. Don't let your realtionship turn into misery.



Tony

[Faith]

talk talk talk and then more talk. You have to be more open than you ever were in your life. And just to complicate things, you can't open up so fast that you overwhelm her. She needs time to ponder and assimilate. Let her talk, let her know questions are OK. Don't take offense at any question, answer as truthfully and the best way that you can.

When my wife and I first started talking things over, most of my answers were, "I don't know" because I didn't. I told her I needed her help figuring things out.