Our 14-year-old came out as trans to us 2 months ago. It wasn't too surprising, and we support, love and accept totally. No one in the extended family is religious. Grandma #1 is a lesbian! The issue: Our teen has had wonderful conversations coming out to grandma #1, grandpa and his wife, aunts and uncles, close family friends and their kids, teachers, classmates and the entire universe on Instagram. But he says he still isn't ready to come out to grandma #2. He also insists his dad can't talk to her about it or that would be outing him against his will.
Nana is the grandparent he's closest to. And Nana and my husband are VERY close, so not revealing this info requires lying and hiding things from her, which is stressful and damaging to my husband's relationship with his mom. Nana is non-religious and politically progressive and gives no indication in any way that the conversation would go badly. She is often grumpy and hard to talk to, but not anti-LGBTQ at all.
We are all so stressed about this. Everything i read says parents should talk to grandparents, which we want to do if our son isn't ready to have the conversation. But he insists that we don't talk to her (which sounds like a copout given his Instagram fame). Can't figure out a way forward...any thoughts or experiences with this would be wonderful to hear. Thanks.