A Confusing Time

[MelissaAnn]

I'm at the Autism conference yesterday. I go into the restroom as I come out of the stall I'm in and go to wash my hands. There is a women there washing up and doing her makeup in just her underwear no bra. I recognize her being on of the models working the conference. 

This is the confusing part for me. She is absolutely gorgeous. Someone that I would definitely have an attraction too but had none. There are gorgeous men here too and there is no attraction there either. It's like I'm lonely but I dont want anyone. I don't know what to think anymore. Feels like I have no sexual desire, feelings, or attraction.  What's wrong with me. I've had a strong urge to cut for some reason too. My self worth has tumbled.

[KimOct]

I'm at the Autism conference yesterday. I go into the restroom as I come out of the stall I'm in and go to wash my hands. There is a women there washing up and doing her makeup in just her underwear no bra. I recognize her being on of the models working the conference. 

This is the confusing part for me. She is absolutely gorgeous. Someone that I would definitely have an attraction too but had none. There are gorgeous men here too and there is no attraction there either. It's like I'm lonely but I dont want anyone. I don't know what to think anymore. Feels like I have no sexual desire, feelings, or attraction.  What's wrong with me. I've had a strong urge to cut for some reason too. My self worth has tumbled.

First - DON'T CUT !!!!!  If the urge becomes strong contact a professional.
Second - So glad you are at an Autism conference. 2 of my 3 children are non verbal autistic so thank you.

Regarding the confusing part.  Me too.  My sexual attraction has both evolved and diminished.  Uncharacteristically I have nothing to add at the moment.    For those that read my posts they know that never happens!!!

I hope you continue to discuss this and I will participate.  Be kind to yourself.

[Northern Star Girl]

@MelissaAnn
Dear MelissaAnn:

All of us, transgender or not, LGBTQ or not.... are attracted to other people with various lifestyles for a lot of reasons besides physical appearance.   Friends becoming romantic interests rely on more substantial traits such as mutual chemistry, mutual viewpoints, mutual interests, work and leisure time activities, food, etc.

Look beyond physical appearances... try to develop a lot of friends and acquaintances so that your pool of possible romantic choices is larger.  You can meet more people by going to events such as you mentioned, but also being invovled with clubs and joint activities such as book clubs, cooking clubs, charity events, church, gym attendance, yoga, swimming aerobics, charity walk and running events, etc.

In my personal experience, some of my friends and acquiescence became my romantic interests... and not all of them were drop dead gorgeous males or females.... and I would have never met them without putting myself out there where I can meet and greet people.

.... and please extinguish your urge to cut yourself...  not a good course to take for sure.

Try to stay positive and please keep us all updated.

Thank you for sharing....
HUGS... and best wishes,
Danielle

I'm at the Autism conference yesterday. I go into the restroom as I come out of the stall I'm in and go to wash my hands. There is a women there washing up and doing her makeup in just her underwear no bra. I recognize her being on of the models working the conference. 

This is the confusing part for me. She is absolutely gorgeous. Someone that I would definitely have an attraction too but had none. There are gorgeous men here too and there is no attraction there either. It's like I'm lonely but I dont want anyone. I don't know what to think anymore. Feels like I have no sexual desire, feelings, or attraction.  What's wrong with me. I've had a strong urge to cut for some reason too. My self worth has tumbled.

[MelissaAnn]

First - DON'T CUT !!!!!  If the urge becomes strong contact a professional.
Second - So glad you are at an Autism conference. 2 of my 3 children are non verbal autistic so thank you.

Kimoct
I assure you I have no intention to cut and have reached out to my psychologist. 

As far as the Autism One Conference goes. I am an advocate for the transgender community and I am talking to more and more transgender people with Autism. So I'm here to learn more about Autism so I can better help the community.

[Northern Star Girl]

Kimoct
I assure you I have no intention to cut and have reached out to my psychologist. 

As far as the Autism One Conference goes. I am an advocate for the transgender community and I am talking to more and more transgender people with Autism. So I'm here to learn more about Autism so I can better help the community.

@MelissaAnn
Dear MelissaAnn:
I feel much relieved to know that you have reached our to your psychologist....  thank you for sharing that.

It is good that you are involved in the Autism conference, that is a good place to meet more like-minded individuals like yourself that desire to help others in need.....   
....acquiescence can become friends, friends can become very close friends and very close friends can become romantic interests....    just keep putting yourself out their where you can meet more people.

Thank you for your followup posting.
HUGS and best wishes,
Danielle

[Maid Marion]

Hi Melissa Ann,

Good to hear  you have reached out to a professional.

It may be that the conference has stirred up some identity issues that you need to process.  And that may be putting your sexual attraction on hold for a while.

Marion

[KimOct]

@MelissaAnn
Dear MelissaAnn:

All of us, transgender or not, LGBTQ or not.... are attracted to other people with various lifestyles for a lot of reasons besides physical appearance.   Friends becoming romantic interests rely on more substantial traits such as mutual chemistry, mutual viewpoints, mutual interests, work and leisure time activities, food, etc.

Look beyond physical appearances... try to develop a lot of friends and acquaintances so that your pool of possible romantic choices is larger.  You can meet more people by going to events such as you mentioned, but also being invovled with clubs and joint activities such as book clubs, cooking clubs, charity events, church, gym attendance, yoga, swimming aerobics, charity walk and running events, etc.

In my personal experience, some of my friends and acquiescence became my romantic interests... and not all of them were drop dead gorgeous males or females.... and I would have never met them without putting myself out there where I can meet and greet people.

.... and please extinguish your urge to cut yourself...  not a good course to take for sure.

Try to stay positive and please keep us all updated.

Thank you for sharing....
HUGS... and best wishes,
Danielle

YES !!!!!

Excellent advice for us all.  In keeping with that I am heading out to enjoy a beautiful day.

[Allie Jayne]

Any time I feel down I try to get active. Anything to occupy my mind, and if it involves other people, it's a chance to make new friends. I haven't had sexual attraction for quite a while (even pre HRT) but don't miss it. I've had low T for years, so worth discussing with your doctor. It may be related to your blood levels, and something you need to manage. And what Danielle said!

Allie

[KathyLauren]

I have probably always been asexual, with lesbian leanings.  Asexual meaning that my attractions have always been romantic, not sexual.  (The lesbian part is that my romantic attractions are only to women.)  I can't really even imagine what it would be like to see someone and be sexually attracted to them.  That has never happened to me.  And now, two and a half years of HRT have put all thoughts of sexuality even farther from my mind.

So in one sense I can't relate to the loss of that aspect of life.  Yet, on the other hand, I can assure you that there is nothing wrong with you, @MelissaAnn!  For all my "weirdness" in the eyes of the general public, I am a pretty normal trans woman.  I suspect that you are too.

(Please don't hurt yourself.)