I've Chosen My Therapist--Now it's time to get the ball rolling

[Lexxi]

Hello all,

As some of you know I'm just now starting out on my journey towards transition. I was having some trouble finding the right therapist last week. The one I wanted is a WPATH trained and recommended therapist, but sadly she wouldn't be able to get me in until August or September. But she did send me a list of other local therapists she recommends if I decided not to wait that long.

So I've come to the conclusion that instead of waiting for the therapist I really want, I'm going to go with one of the people from her list instead. I've even chosen the one I want from that list. I'm just waiting for her to get back to me to let me know how many visits my insurance will cover.

I talked to her on the phone for about 10 minutes and I felt very at ease with her. She will definitely write "the letter" for me when it comes time for that. Even though she hasn't been WPATH trained, she's very experienced working with transgender people. Oh and she's an activist in the LGBTQ community, so that gives her a little bit more street cred in my book.

I know that a lot of you gave me excellent advise last week in one of my other posts, so I thought you'd like to be kept up to speed with what's going on with me.

Thank you all for the excellent advice, and also for letting me know how much you care about me. That means a lot to me!

xoxo

Lexxi

[Allie Jayne]

Lexxi, congratulations on this important step! She may not end up being the therapist you transition with, as it is important for you and your therapist to 'click'. Good luck and I hope you find your correct path!

Allie

[Lexxi]

Thank you so much Allie!! I really hope she's the one for me. If not though I still have those other recommended therapists in my back pocket, or I could even wait for the original one I wanted. However it ends up working out I sure am excited to get this process started. 

xoxo

Lexxi

[Allie Jayne]

Lexxi, I felt the first therapist I spoke to was a really lovely lady, but she seemed to want to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear. I needed someone to look at me through fresh eyes and tell me where I was really at. As it turns out my current therapist stopped our first session after 40 minutes and wrote me a referral to an endocrinologist!  I hope you have similar success!

Allie

[Lexxi]

Oh Allie I very much hope so too!! That would be a dream come true for sure. She's supposed to call me back by tomorrow (Thursday) evening and let me know about my insurance. Just in case things fell through with her I called one of the other therapists on the list to talk with them. The one I spoke with wasn't taking any new patients, and the other clinicians in their firm didn't really deal with trans issues, so they're out.

The only issue I can see with the current one I'm talking to now is that she might not take my insurance. If that's the case I'll have to pay out of pocket. Her prices were somewhere between $90 and $120 per hour. I would be willing to pay that as long as I didn't have to go to her more than once. I mean having my letter is certainly worth a hundred bucks right? At least that's the way I look at it.

xoxo

Lexxi

[Lexxi]

uuughh I'm so frustrated right now. The therapist I chose doesn't take my insurance. She gave me her out of pocket price and it's doable if I pinch some pennies. The bad thing though is that she won't even consider writing the letter until after she's seen me at least 6 times. That sounds a bit excessive to me, and maybe even a little gatekeeperish.

However she did give me the name of a therapist she trusts, who actually takes my insurance, and said I should try her. So tomorrow I'll be starting the whole process over again. I really wish my state was an informed consent one.

I'm going to be going to my regular GP on Monday. I'm going to tell him what I've been going through and the decision I've made to transition. Who knows maybe he'll be very open minded and just start me on HRT without having a therapists letter. I don't know if that's legal or not, but I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

xoxo
Lexxi   

[Maid Marion]

Hi Lexxi

Good luck getting through the insurance gauntlet!

Marion

[Lexxi]

Thanks Marion!! I wouldn't mind paying out of pocket if a therapist didn't require so many visits. I couldn't believe she had a set number before she'd write that letter. From what I've heard some of the other girls say, they only had to go to one or two before the letter was written. Six seems a bit much to me...especially since I would be paying out of pocket for the service.

Oh well I have to do what I have to do to make my dream come true.

xoxo
Lexxi

[Quinn]

Lexxi transitioning has hurdles to overcome both emotionally, physically, socially  a good therapist with experience in transition can help you sort thru this. Do not think of them just to get the letter they can help you sort out your thoughts as you proceed along this path.
They can have some really great suggestion and information you did not think of yourself
Just saying you should go there with an open mind since it is on your insurance and only have a co-pay use their experience you may find it much more beneficial that you ever knew possible


Best of luck with your letter and therapy

[Lexxi]

Hi Quinn,

I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I was just wanting to rush the process. After reading some of what I wrote I see how it could be construed that way. But that's far from the truth. I really am going to be completely opening up to the therapist and also be very honest too. I know how important they, and their opinions are.

Also I want to give them time to delve into the real me. They may be able to even tell me something about myself I wasn't even aware of.

One of the ones I spoke with yesterday just kind of sounded like he wanted to see how long he could drag things out to keep the money rolling in. He may have been completely on the up and up, but I didn't really get a good feeling like that.

I have calls in to two more therapists now and am waiting for them to get back to me. I'm not sure either one accepts my insurance, so I think I'll probably end up paying out of pocket. I wasn't expecting I'd have to do that, but at this point that's what I'll do to get this process started.

[Quinn]

Hi Lexxi,

Hearing your response makes me happy, you may need to try a few until you can find the best fit but once you do it will be wonderful to have someone that you can unload on whatever the subject.

[Lexxi]

That's what I was thinking too Quinn. I just booked my first appointment for June 10th. Well I should say I sent an email accepting her offer of a June 10th appointment. I hope she answers this email this time. I sent another one to her yesterday asking questions about hourly fees and such and she still hasn't answered back. Hopefully she'll get back to me this time, lol.

xoxo
Lexxi

[Lexxi]

I may need a whole appointment just to talk about how stressful it's been getting in to see a therapist, ha ha ha...

[Lexxi]

Hello ladies,

I just got the best news in the whole world. You all know how I've mentioned that I'm having trouble finding qualified therapists who deal with trans women? Well I just got a call from the preeminent trans therapist in my entire region. We spoke for about 20 minutes and she's going to fit me in her schedule...and my first appointment is Monday afternoon!!!!!! To say I'm happy is an understatement.

She told me that I would probably only need three sessions before she'd feel confident writing my letter. She's real big on patients having a say over their own bodies, and she doesn't like to put undue pressure on them by blocking what they want. But she still wants to make sure I'm ready. Which is totally fine by, and understandable to me.

Earlier this morning I was really starting to get bummed out that I was having so many problems, then things turned around fast. I've never taken drugs before, but if they make someone feel as good as I do now, I can understand why they take them. lol

xoxo
Lexxi

[Quinn]

That's wonderful news im so happy for you

looks like you are on the right track to start HRT soon   

[Lexxi]

Hi Quinn,

Thank you hon!! I know that I've been blessed to start my process faster than a lot of the other ladies, but it sure seems to be taking forever. I think the reason I want to get started so quickly is because of my age. I'm 50 now and I'm really afraid I'll run out of time before I can complete the process and be able to live as my full self. I want to have many, many good years as the real me before I kick off for whatever happens after I'm gone.

xoxo
Lexxi

[Allie Jayne]

Woohoo! That is the best news! You are officially on your way now. My therepist also said at least 3 Sessions, and 40 minutes later I was on the E Train, so this ride is full of surprises. I wish I could have started this ride as young as 50!

Good luck Monday,

Hugs, Allie!

[Lexxi]

Thank you very much Allie. I'm wishing I could have started this process when I was about 20. It would be awesome to be able to be my true self when I was that young. Or better yet I wish I could have just been born in the right body from the get go. I've often thought how differently my life would have turned out to be. But wish in one hand they say...ha ha ha.

xoxo
Lexxi

[Maid Marion]

Hi Lexxi,

That is great news about not having to wait so long!

Marion