Never Ever Tell

[Sarah B]

This post is in response to TXSara being publicly humiliated. You need to read it, to understand where I'm coming from.

I'm going to sound like a gramophone record that keeps on repeating oneself or until I'm blue in the face, but I have never belonged to any of these 'groups' (facebook, twitter, discord) or what ever group is associated with the one that showed disrespect to 'Sara' ever and I never will.  Not that those groups were around in my time, think of the 1990's.  I have never suffered anything like what most of the members of Susan's and others have suffered and I hope I never will, and given my circumstances, which I will write about below, you will know why, that will not ever happen.

I have remained in the woodwork or out in the suburbs, ever since my surgery, because I heard somehow about us women living in the suburbs or woodwork so to speak and to me that sounded like the "bees knees".  However, one would like to put it, or to put it another way, not that I like saying, 'stealth' but, I have always been very deep deep stealth.  Let me emphasise why I'm like this, you could say I'm obsessive, about this particular aspect of my life and you would not be wrong.

As people have read some of my posts, I tend to say, I'm a very private, shy, quite and maybe an introvert person.  I have mellowed over the years, but that is just me changing with the times.  In addition to this personality I never tell anyone about my condition, ever.  This is why I have never suffered any consequences in relation to my condition.

Yes, I'm extremely lucky in the sense that I could pass straight away, when I changed my life around so that I could live the life that I now lead.

The one instance that you could say that cemented this behavior in my mind.   I was working full time very early in my new life and I received a phone call at work and it was a call from a man, who was related to my previous swimming circle and was associated with a girl I was living with at the time.  One of the things he said at the time on the phone was, "I will not out you" or very similar words.

Well that was it.  I got a new drafting contract and I moved as soon as possible, I was also told by my uncle, who knew about me that this particular girl was a 'shark', as I said, I was very naive person in those days, but had enough sense.  I knew I was quite capable of living by myself without anyone else's help.

This cemented I suppose how I was going to live my life, given my condition and the way society treated us at the time.  I was never ever going to tell anyone whatsoever, about my past life ever.  The only time I was ever going reveal my condition was either to a medical practitioner or partner, even then I would think twice about it.

I have had two partners in my life one knew and the other did not.  However, I will in the future ensure my partner does know the truth about my past.  The end result of this behaviour if you want to call it that.  I have never had any trouble whatsoever in regards to my condition ever.

Yes, I understand the need to be honest with dear friends and I'm no different in a sense.  I have a friend and when we get together we talk about everything under the sun.  I have thoughts of telling her about my past or about my condition.  I would love too.  I have agonised over this issue, no end. 

However, I still came to the conclusion that is best to let sleeping dogs lie.  When I'm 80 or so, maybe then I will reveal myself to the world!

Everybody's journey is different I get that, but every time I hear or read the problems when one tells family and friends, breaks my heart no end, when they turn on you, disrespect you, put you down and myriad of other, similar comments, breaks my heart, it just reminds me, not to tell anyone ever.

I do jump for joy when you are accepted for who you are, and I must admit, I'm jealous of those stories.  I would also like to be successful in telling others, but my instincts tell me otherwise and I shall remain silent in that case.

I'm just an oddity amongst us women who, will never ever tell anyone about my condition, I just cannot tell anyone, that's just me. Ever.  Hence, for me and me only, I have a wonderful, happy and blissful life as a result.

Wishing everyone a wonderful future
Sarah B

[imallie]

Hi Sarah - thank you for pouring your heart out and sharing your story in that way. As obviously a private person as you are, I'm sure even posting all that goes against your very instincts.

I just want to say, though, that I don't think we do need to understand your full story just so we have the context for your response to what happen to Sara.  Everyone is on their own journey and everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and each of them are equally valid.
In fact you're the leading expert on how you feel. You don't ever need to e plain or justify anything.
That being said, adding such a complete and detailed history of your path to this community is so greatly appreciated. I'm sure many people will see aspects of themselves in it, or find parts to give them pause, new ideas, or help sort out existing issues.
I know I'll revisit it at various times in my transition.
Thanks again for sharing. 

Love,
Allie

[Sarah B]

I would like to change the title of this thread, if it is possible from "Never Ever", to "Never Ever Tell".

If any moderator or administrator can do that it would be very much appreciated.  If not, then no problem.

Kind Regards
Sarah B

[Jessica_Rose]

I would like to change the title of this thread, if it is possible from "Never Ever", to "Never Ever Tell".

If any moderator or administrator can do that it would be very much appreciated.  If not, then no problem.

Kind Regards
Sarah B

No problem, Sarah!

Love always -- Jess

[Sarah B]

Thank you ever so much Jessica_Rose.  Yes, Yes ,Yes.

Hugs
Sarah B

[Sarah B]

When I reread what I originally wrote in the original post, 'Never Ever Tell', the second paragraph, does not really make sense so, I will rewrite it so that it does.  I will leave the original paragraph for historical reasons.

The following is what I really meant:

I'm going to sound like a gramophone record that keeps on repeating oneself or until I'm blue in the face, and that is "I will never ever tell anybody, about my medical condition ever".  In addition I have never used, sort help, or been to any support help group regarding my condition and I never will.  Also I do not use any social media and tend to avoid it like the plague.

Sara's unfortunate incident, is the result of someone knowing about her and used that knowledge to destroy her self esteem.  This is just one reason why I never ever tell anybody about my condition.

I have never suffered anything like what most of the members of Susan's and others have suffered and I hope I never will, and given my circumstances, which I will write about below, you will know why, that will not ever happen.

I hope this makes a lot more sense than the previous version.

Kind regards to one and all
Sarah  B

[Sarah B]

Hi Sarah - thank you for pouring your heart out and sharing your story in that way. As obviously a private person as you are, I'm sure even posting all that goes against your very instincts.

Thank you Allie for your kind words.  I never really realized that the posting I just made was that private.  Yes, it reflects totally me inside, however it does not give out any specific details.  Susan's is virtually the only place where I can express my thoughts as I cannot do so in my daily life per se.

I just want to say, though, that I don't think we do need to understand your full story just so we have the context for your response to what happen to Sara.  Everyone is on their own journey and everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and each of them are equally valid.

I have not told my full story in this post, the main pertinent fact of the story was, "I never tell anybody about my medical condition ever", maybe I should have said this at the very beginning and in itself it would not have given any context about why, I make such a statement.

Yes, everyone is on their own journey and I totally accept that unconditionally whatever they do and I will support them in their decisions.  To not do so, would make me a total hypocrite.

In fact you're the leading expert on how you feel. You don't ever need to e plain or justify anything.
That being said, adding such a complete and detailed history of your path to this community is so greatly appreciated.

Yes you are right, I'm an expert on me! Telling such a small part about me to the community is a pleasure.

I'm sure many people will see aspects of themselves in it, or find parts to give them pause, new ideas, or help sort out existing issues.

This was what I intended.  In other words "do not tell anybody about your condition unless you really have to".  The reason being I do not want to see anybody suffering in the community.

I know I'll revisit it at various times in my transition.
Thanks again for sharing.

Love,
Allie

You are more than welcome.

Best wishes
Sarah B