The first time I went to a stylist for a feminine cut I did not say that I was looking for a feminine cut and I did not leave with a feminine cut.
The first time I leveled with a stylist that I am transgender and wanted to move to a feminine cut was a smart thing to do. My hair became progressively more feminine looking over time. In fact, when I had some highlighting also, my hair looked too feminine and I decided to revert back to my natural color because my hair could not look that feminine at that time because my transitioning progress was not ready for that.
So if you want a feminine cut be open with your stylist. If she is willing to help you as a transgender woman (MTF) then keep returning, tip well, and enjoy your transformation over time. You might be able to get a stylist referral from a transgender group, even the group's Web site, or a LGBTQ+ Web site.
If you are scared, or do not particularly want your hair styled with other customers around, try to see if you can get an early morning or last of day style appointment. You can call for an appointment and say you are transgender and desire a beginning or end of day appointment for more privacy.
It does not likely matter, I do not think, if you are presenting as female when you go to the stylist but as you transition female appearance in all ways will just be the natural way to go.
Chrissy