Ebb and flow

[Alana1990]

Since I realized I was transgender, dysphoria, and envy is a thing I've constantly dealt with. However,this week, I haven't thought about it at all. Is it normal for dysphoria, and envy to ebb and flow?

[ChrissyRyan]

Since I realized I was transgender, dysphoria, and envy is a thing I've constantly dealt with. However,this week, I haven't thought about it at all. Is it normal for dysphoria, and envy to ebb and flow?

Alana,

Sure, those feelings can grow and wane for some of us.
There are some days when I see a gorgeous woman I crave having such good looks.

On other days, I realize that I have been fortunate to look the way I do, being able to be who I am, learning how to fit in, to blend in, to enjoy life, and most importantly, to truly be content.

I wish you the best!

Chrissy

[LoriDee]

I agree with Chrissy. There are times when I feel envious, or frustrated with my progress. Other times I feel very ... me. Most of the time, I am just busy living my life and not thinking about that stuff.

What you are feeling is natural and a part of the journey. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just relax and enjoy the ride!

Hugs!

[Paulie]

Hi Alana,

It maybe that you've just been busier or preoccupied this week.  Envy is one of the 7 deadly sins, and they say "Idle hands are the devil's workshop".   

The important thing is that you've recognized that you suffer from this to some extent.  Envy is a natural human emotion, just don't let it get the best of you. It can be very destructive. 

Keeping yourself busy, recognizing what you have, and making changes in your life, all will help you deal with envy.  There are lots of good resource for dealing the Green Eyed Monster on the web.  Even if you don't think you're really suffering from envy, it can't hurt to have a little better understanding of that emotion.

I think it ebb's a little with age too.  At least that's been my experience.

Warm Regards,
Paulie.

[Jessica_K]

It definitely ebbs and flows depending on how busy I am, but at night it hits again when I ready for bed.

Jessica.

[Colorado Girl]

I think LoriDee spoke to what is probably a very common malady among us - and that's frustration. I can honestly say that when I see a beautiful woman with fantastic curves and say to myself, "I wish I had those curves!" I sometimes feel frustrated that I'm not developing as fast or in the way I would like - but not blatant envy or resentment toward the beautiful woman. And, yes, even the frustration seems to ebb and flow. But, in the final analysis, I LOVE who I am - and As LoriDee said - I'm "enjoying the ride"! I hope it's the same for you!

[ChrissyRyan]

I think LoriDee spoke to what is probably a very common malady among us - and that's frustration. I can honestly say that when I see a beautiful woman with fantastic curves and say to myself, "I wish I had those curves!" I sometimes feel frustrated that I'm not developing as fast or in the way I would like - but not blatant envy or resentment toward the beautiful woman. And, yes, even the frustration seems to ebb and flow. But, in the final analysis, I LOVE who I am - and As LoriDee said - I'm "enjoying the ride"! I hope it's the same for you!

Good for you!  Try to stay always positive, enjoy the beauty around us, and yes, those enchanting curves on some others. 

While it is possible to pretend to have some curves, like squeezing in the midriff area,  I know for me that is fakey so I have rarely done that.  When I did, it was always not in public and just to see maybe what I would look like with such curves.  It is not reality though, and I have accepted that.

What I do see is a bit of roundedness on the top of my thighs, that is different than before mtf HRT.  It is not much but it is there, and that is me, not pretend.

Yes, we have to accept ourselves in many ways and that means being grateful for what we have and who we are, striving to improve in ways meaningful and good.

Chrissy

[Starryskyy]

Hi I'm an expert in the never ending ebb and flow of gender frustrations. It's totally normal especially as you get much further along in simply being you despite various obstacles, I'm unable to see myself as male and just look at myself horrified in the mirror often. Been this way for many years and I've had a lot more experience with being completely open about being who I am even though it's not entirely safe for me to shout it from the rooftops. Since doing so though and just being me regardless of the never ending dysphoria from my looks often I never think about my gender otherwise. I just go about my life as a woman and get misgendered every day a million times over with the occasional person that gets it (I do look naturally extremely feminine with some really bad issues that have more to do with head shape and hair than much else). If I cover the top of my head and shave so well that day that only the most baseline shadow is there I get gendered correctly more often. It's still extremely rough and because of the divide between my appearance and presentation with the hair situation and people that recognize me in public as male that aren't exactly good people things can scary out there. I'd say most of my dysphoria besides my personal view on my looks comes from the way the immediate community treats me and what I need to do to protect myself sometimes. I can't just present male, I have no idea how to so usually on the days where I'm most insecure I just turtle inside a hoody and keep on the down low. Always have other things to do to take my mind off it and I value my time away from people anyways where I need it.

[LoriDee]

Thanks, Starryskyy. Very well said.

I am in the same boat. When in makeup, wigs, and dressed I am often called "ma'am". But it isn't practical to do everything I need to just to take out the trash, check the mail, or run a quick errand. I don't have much in the way of men's clothing anymore. What I do have, I call my "grubbies" that I wear while prospecting or rock-hounding. Throw on a sweatshirt and hat and keep my head down. Most everyone in the apartment complex knows me because I was the first tenant to move in after the building was built. Most are accepting and supportive, but there are a few that I avoid.

I totally get what you mean. All we can do is keep on keeping on. 

[ChrissyRyan]

Keep on going one day at a time. 

Chrissy