Am i trans or not?

[anonymous24]

Before i explain my case, i will ask: please dont judge. just tell me your opinion.

As i wrote in my last post, im 34 years old, and i have this feelings since im 16.

I have big fantasy of being a woman with man. it comes 99% only in sexual desire. in the other time i dont feel it so strong.

I am not gay. as a man i do attracted to woman. however, the feeling of being a woman with man is stronger.

When im home, i watching transgender porn for about 1-2 hours daily. mostly fantasize myself as the female actress.

And im asking - am i trans or not? how can i know? im trying to supress those feeling but its coming back and coming back, no wether what im doing.

When im trying harder to become more manly by going to gym or stuff like that, those feeling are just coming stronger after few hours.

I know it isnt typical situation as most of you have been. but please, i need your advice.

Thanks in advance.

[LoriDee]

Hello Anonymous,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

You mentioned a previous post but I am not able to locate it. It looks like this is your first post even though you registered back in February. Anyway, let me welcome you to Susan's Place.

We strive to make this a safe place to find information and to share your thoughts and comments. We all come from different backgrounds and represent a wide range of experiences. No matter who you may be, you are always welcome at Susan's Place.

As for your question: "Am I trans or not?" that is something you will need to figure out on your own. I strongly suggest you seek a therapist or psychologist skilled in gender identities. They can help you the way they helped me figure things out. I had many issues (you can read my story linked below) and a psychologist was able to help me explore who I really am. They believed that I was transgender, but I rejected the idea. Being transgender has NOTHING to do with being gay. I spent two years with the psychologist before I accepted that I am transgender. The problem was that I did not really understand what that meant. There is so much wrong information on the internet, including "trans porn". Please consider seeing someone who can help you figure it out. As you mentioned, your experience is a bit different than ours.

BUT... we have people here with all kinds of experience, and from all backgrounds.

We would like to get to know you. Once you feel comfortable here, please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum and introduce yourself and tell us something about you.

Please review the links at the end of this message, they include information that will help you navigate the site and use the available features. When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile. Until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me at  LoriDee605@outlook.com

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!
~ Lori Dee

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[Sarah B]

Hello Annymous24

My name is Sarah B   and I would like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

You asked the question "Am I trans or not?  I and other members cannot make that decision for you and only you and nobody else can make that decision for you.  The information from Susan's and other places on the internet can guide you in helping you to make that decision.

Me personally I do not like the word 'trans' and never have.  So in my opinion; " no you are not".

Your first posting on Susan's says;

Before i explain my case, i will ask: please dont judge. just tell me your opinion.

Nobody here on Susan's will judge you,  We come from all walks of life and we come to Susan's with acceptance of others.  If we don't then we would be hypocrites.

As i wrote in my last post, im 34 years old, and i have this feelings since im 16.

I'm afraid there is no last post from you that I can see.  In the beginning of this year and late December Susan's had a huge data loss of members postings.  You joined Susan's early in the year.  Which indicates that you were not affected.  I will send a message to Danielle one of our Administrators and let her know about this problems

I have big fantasy of being a woman with man. it comes 99% only in sexual desire. in the other time i dont feel it so strong.

This is only natural thing for a women to desire and there is nothing wrong with that.

I am not gay. as a man i do attracted to woman. however, the feeling of being a woman with man is stronger.

I was never gay and yet I changed my life around and I have spent my time with several men.

When im home, i watching transgender porn for about 1-2 hours daily. mostly fantasize myself as the female actress.

And im asking - am i trans or not? how can i know? im trying to supress those feeling but its coming back and coming back, no wether what im doing.

Once again I and others can not help you answer that question only you can and only you.  To help you find out if you are 'trans' or not instead of watching transgender porn you could be researching on the internet how far do you want to become a female and achieve your desires?

If you still are unable to answer your question, then you need to seek out professional help from a 'therapist' who specializes in treating people this area.

When im trying harder to become more manly by going to gym or stuff like that, those feeling are just coming stronger after few hours.

There are a lot of members on this web site who went to extremes in trying to become manly and only to see it come back and hit them back harder than before,

I know it isnt typical situation as most of you have been. but please, i need your advice.

Thanks in advance.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the Introductions Forum I'm always learning something new.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most of us have experienced these as well.  You can read about my story (still in progress)  in a link listed below my signature.

I see that LoriDee has welcomed you also with open arms.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!
Sarah B
Offical Greeter
@LoriDee
@Northern Star Girl
@anonymous24

[anonymous24]

Thanks for both of the comments. i really appreciate it.

When i said "in my last post" i forgot i was in other username.

Again, i really thank for your comments and i would like to have another opinions.

I will enter the introdction page to check it out.

[LoriDee]

Do you remember the other username? Our Administrator can merge your accounts so your posts are together. Is that something you would like?

[Allie Jayne]

The problem with Transgender is that it means so many different things to so many different people. This is why it has become an umbrella term for all who have a cross sex experience. I guess you are asking if you are among the Gender Incongruent people who might transition?

At this time there is no definitive way to know this, and while there are psychological markers like persistent questioning of your gender, it depends on eliminating a number of other possible causes for this, and the experience of a therapist to make their educated guess. We cannot know from what you have said.

Transitioning is a huge disruption to our lives, and often costs us things and people we love, as well as a lot of money, so it isn't something you would do unless your life was severely affected. This is usually due to gender dysphoria.

Generally, if your life is constantly disrupted by feelings that you are the wrong sex, it is time to get help. Some people do get sexual pleasure from imagining they are someone else, often someone of the other sex, and this may not be Gender Incongruence. Dysphoria from Gender Incongruence usually comes in waves of frustration, and doing something affirming of the opposite sex will bring some relief. Even if this applies to you, it does not mean you need to transition, as there are many ways to manage Dysphoria once you have recognised your Gender Incongruence. Dysphoria can get serious enough to make us seriously sick, so it must be treated at some stage, but it is accepted the only way to rid ourselves of dysphoria is to transition.

You may just be a bit kinky, which is ok, and should just enjoy this without guilt, but there may be something else behind it. If it is causing you distress, find a therapist to help you! Good luck!

Hugs,

Allie

[Karen_A]

I have big fantasy of being a woman with man. it comes 99% only in sexual desire. in the other time i dont feel it so strong.

As other have said , no can tell you if you are TS or not or if transition is right for you... that has to come from within you...

The only thing I want to say is that HRT will drop your testosterone levels significantly  so is likely to lower your sex drive significantly, so be sure you really understand yourself going in.

- Karen

[imallie]

Hi anonymous!

The biggest thing to takeaway is that you are YOU - you are a unique individual, with unique desires, goals, and ideas about self, gender expression, and sexuality. So trying to figure all that out is certainly worthy of your time... but I don't think you need to spend too much time being concerned about what label to put on it.

Labels are for when OTHER people refer to you, not when you think of yourself, you know?

So as Sarah mentioned, one thing that so many people have found helpful is finding a therapist near you who has experience with gender dysphoria... and can help you delve into these issues and figure out who and what you are and what path will make you happy.

In the meantime, Allie Jayne is so spot on -- don't ever feel guilty about your feelings. Whatever brings you joy -- so long as it's not hurting anyone else? -- well then it's no one else's business and it's nothing to feel guilty about.

Love,
Allie

[Rachel]

Hi, like other have said it is a good idea to see a gender therapist to sort out your gender.

I go to gym and I have 2 sports cars and I fully transitioned. Where I go in Philly there are a lot of woman in the gym. Going to the gym does not define a gender. I do not watch porn as I have, in my recent past, had a very full sex life.

I have a girlfriend. I finally figured out why I never dated the guys I had sex with. I need someone I can share intimate information with in a secure nonjudgmental welcoming relationship, have meaningful conversations and fun with.

Transitioning is a long journey full of many obstacles and temptations. I lost my family and almost lost my job along the way. I had a lot of surgeries and a lot of facial electrolysis. I am lucky I have no dark body hair, just vellus hair. I just had my left arm sleeve tattoo 3 sessions and 2 more to go and they did not shave my arm. I have a right arm sleeve done and that was not shaved, 6 sessions. Laser and electrolysis is expensive and it hurts.

I use to go to two groups in an inner city. I lost a lot of friends. I think about them. I learner how to play Fur Elise on my electric guitar. I was there in group when Elise took her first estrogen pill. I saw her the night before her last day. I think of her often. Transitioning is not easy.

I wake up every morning and go to bed each night and I am so happy I did what I did.

[ChrissyRyan]

Yes, a lot can be lost.  What is gained can be very beneficial though.
Everyone who goes through transition steps has some highs and lows during each of their journeys.  Competent counseling can be a big help for clarification.

Chrissy