Hello AllisonMy name is
Sarah B and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!
I see that Lori has also welcomed you to Susan's Place. I noticed in your post you said:
Quote from: Allison_suddenly on May 16, 2024, 09:31:46 PMI (49 MtF) came out to my wife 4 months ago. We were happily married 24 years, but the last few months have been very rough to say the least. She has verbally attacked and abused me but I remain calm and stoic. At her request, I've taken my transition slowly by not coming out and sticking to low dose HRT.
Abuse physically, verbally or being controlled by another is not right and on top of your dysphoria is not healthy for you, now or in the long term.
Quote from: Allison_suddenly on May 16, 2024, 09:31:46 PMI do not want to divorce at all costs, even if it means going back to being depressed and dysphoric. The HRT has made me happier and I'm certain it's right for me. But at my angriest I feel like I'd rather never transition and saddle my wife with a depressed person, just to spite her.
There are other members here on Susan's that have wife, husband and children and in some cases after a long period of time they have come to accept their partners and others that have not, which usually means divorce. There are only three possible outcomes in your case, you get divorced and you become happy, you remain married and eventually you are able to transition to a certain extent, you remain happy to a certain point or you do not and you remain unhappy.
In all of these situation you need to seek therapy of help you and your wife decide which is the best possible solution to your dilemma.
Being angry and retaliation is never an option to solving you and your wife's problems and again you need to seek therapy to help you move forward.
Quote from: Allison_suddenly on May 16, 2024, 09:31:46 PMWhen I'm not as angry, I still try to find a compromise like maybe I can continue taking HRT but never socially transition. Just live as a woman at home, she has said she's ok with that. I know our marriage will never be the same again and I've accepted that fact.
Compromise is always good
Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the various forums. I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new from new members.
In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most of us have experienced these as well.
Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!Sarah BOffical Greeter@LoriDee @Northern Star Girl @Allison_suddenly