Closeted Crossdresser Opening Up

[arushipatel79]

I am opening up for the first time to someone other than myself.

A bit about me; I am an Asian Indian male, 45 , married and dad, working professional from Portland. I have very mixed body features. I don't have much hair on me and I wax so have a smooth body all over, light wheatish skin color, nicely done eyebrows and definitely size B manboobs, 6'2" tall and slightly curvy body, so I look like a tall woman when I am all dressed up.

Growing Up; At a very young age , I got very intrigued with Wigs and Bra's. I used to try on Bra's starting age 14 and stuffed them up with socks. I used to roam wearing panties , and gown , usually taken off my dryers from my neighbors laundry. I remember this one weekend , I was all by myself and tried makeup for the first time and did my best , let's just say it wasn't bad for my first time. That was my best weekend being in woman clothing's all day long around the house.


As I moved out of the house for college , I started freely and frequently cross dress, I bought my own silicone breasts , bra's , panties  and dresses. I used to go to thrift stores and Ross, pick up the best in the lot, 44DD size and go into changing room and try them on with my
Silicone boobs. I used to look for slightly worn panties , to make me feel I have been wearing them for ages. I got some cheap makeup, eyeliner, lipstick, foundation and the whole Shabang and 4-5 beautiful wigs. I had a closet full of items . Every Sunday, I would spend 3 hours dressing up , and sneaking out in public in my best woman attire, I used to get compliments all the time, many guys even approached me , I was flattered but never felt aroused for guys. Only when woman would stare , I would get a bulge .

Today: I still have a collection of cross dressing items and really good stuff from Sephora. I still cross dress and roam around in the streets of SF during my work travels (when I am off work) , you may run into me on one of my work trips. My wife and kids go on trips to visit my in laws for a month in summer, that's when I am always dressed like a woman all around, with nail polish done too. I so feel in my element dressed as a woman.


Sexual preference: I am into Woman, dominating woman that would control me, dress me up and take me on a girls night out. Make out with me in ladies room .


Am I wrong in doing so? Should suppress my desires to cross dress?

[Lori Dee]

Hello arushipatel79,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

I see that you are a new member, so I would like to officially welcome you. You will find that many of our members have stories similar to yours. You are not alone!

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Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

~ Lori Dee

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@Sarah B
@Northern Star Girl

[Sarah B]

Hello Arushi

My name is Sarah B and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that Lori has also welcomed you as well.  You mentioned in your first post:

I am opening up for the first time to someone other than myself.

A bit about me; I am an Asian Indian male, 45 , married and dad, working professional from Portland. I have very mixed body features. I don't have much hair on me and I wax so have a smooth body all over, light wheatish skin color, nicely done eyebrows and definitely size B manboobs, 6'2" tall and slightly curvy body, so I look like a tall woman when I am all dressed up.

Thank you for sharing your personal information it is very much appreciated.  Please remember you only share what you are comfortable with and this is a public forum where anybody can read your postings.  There are a couple of ways to have a private conversation, Private Messages (PM) here on Susan's and on Susan's Discord.

People come from diverse cultures and countries, so you are not alone in this way.

Growing Up; At a very young age , I got very intrigued with Wigs and Bra's. I used to try on Bra's starting age 14 and stuffed them up with socks. I used to roam wearing panties , and gown , usually taken off my dryers from my neighbors laundry. I remember this one weekend , I was all by myself and tried makeup for the first time and did my best , let's just say it wasn't bad for my first time. That was my best weekend being in woman clothing's all day long around the house.

As I moved out of the house for college , I started freely and frequently cross dress, I bought my own silicone breasts , bra's , panties  and dresses. I used to go to thrift stores and Ross, pick up the best in the lot, 44DD size and go into changing room and try them on with my
Silicone boobs. I used to look for slightly worn panties , to make me feel I have been wearing them for ages. I got some cheap makeup, eyeliner, lipstick, foundation and the whole Shabang and 4-5 beautiful wigs. I had a closet full of items . Every Sunday, I would spend 3 hours dressing up , and sneaking out in public in my best woman attire, I used to get compliments all the time, many guys even approached me , I was flattered but never felt aroused for guys. Only when woman would stare , I would get a bulge.

There is nothing wrong with wearing the clothing that you like.  There are a lot of members of Susan's that have similar stories.

Today: I still have a collection of cross dressing items and really good stuff from Sephora. I still cross dress and roam around in the streets of SF during my work travels (when I am off work) , you may run into me on one of my work trips. My wife and kids go on trips to visit my in laws for a month in summer, that's when I am always dressed like a woman all around, with nail polish done too. I so feel in my element dressed as a woman.

Sexual preference: I am into Woman, dominating woman that would control me, dress me up and take me on a girls night out. Make out with me in ladies room .

Am I wrong in doing so? Should suppress my desires to cross dress?

I have already mentioned, that what you do and if it makes you happy then there is nothing wrong with what you do and of course there are Sub Forums that deal with cross dressing specifically.

However, after reading your brief history, I wonder if there is something else that brings you to Susan's Place, remember you don't have share any information about yourself if you do not feel comfortable in doing so.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experience in these issues as well.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!
Sarah B
Offical Greeter
@LoriDee
@Northern Star Girl
@arushipatel79

[Robbyv213]

I don't feel you should suppress anything to be honest with you. Especially if this is something that is very much a part of who you are.

That being said if your wife doesn't know about this side of you and again she might I don't know how open you guys are about this sort of thing but she may be very upset that you never felt you could share this with her I know mine was pretty upset when she found out that I've always wanted to be a woman and that she was even more hurt that I felt I couldn't share that with anybody granted I never shared that with anybody my entire life so I figured I wasn't really doing anything wrong but slowly over time I can see the damage I did to our relationship by not telling her sooner or being upfront with her from the beginning.

But again I would suggest not suppressing or repressing anything that is such a big part of who you are. It will only find a way to manifest itself and if you've been trying to ignore the suppress it it will come out in ways that can be dangerous or very surprising and will most likely catch you off guard and could potentially let your secret out for you.