Robby's Journey

[Lori Dee]

Robby,

So sorry to hear that. But as Pema said, this is a setback, not a defeat. I suggest you try again. "No pain, no gain", right?

The worst pain I have ever felt was in a dentist's chair. I learned that I felt it more when I focused on what they were doing. You were worried about the pain, and your mind focused on that and amplified it.

I studied pain probably more than many doctors. It was the reason I got into hypnotherapy. I needed a way to manage my pain instead of popping Vicodin like popcorn. Pain is not physical. Pain is mental 100%. Nerve endings send the message to the brain, and the brain decides how bad it is. If you cut your finger, only a few nerves are affected, and the brain determines that it is not a severe injury. But if you break your leg, many nerves send the same message all at once. The brain receives all these messages and determines that the injury is severe.

Now think about a three-year-old kid who scrapes her knee. She cries like she is dying, right? The injury is very minor, but to her it is catastrophic. As an adult, that same scrape would be more of an annoyance. Your subconscious mind is in total control of the body. It digests your food, pumps your blood, and heals your wounds without you needing to think about it. That is the key. You don't need to think about it.

Try a little self-hypnosis trick. When they are ready to start, just close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Keep your breath calm and easy. Ignore anything that is going on around you. No one is touching you; they are touching a piece of cardboard in front of your face. Maybe the cardboard is touching your face, but that doesn't hurt, because it is numb. It is protecting you. Nothing is going on around you. You can ignore everything.

Focus on your breathing, and when you feel relaxed, imagine yourself somewhere else. Someplace that you would rather be. Fishing on the side of a beautiful lake, hiking through a cool forest, or sitting in a grassy field next to a small creek. Focus on that experience. Listen for the sound of the breeze rustling the trees. Notice that you can smell the trees and the grass. Can you hear the water in the creek? Try hard to focus on that. Really get into the experience of being there. Maybe you can feel the sun on your face, or a bit of a breeze that cools it. Focus on that.

Give your mind something else to think about. Whenever you need to, go back to focusing on your breathing. Relax and keep it calm and easy. Slow, deep breaths. You can do this. It is mind over matter, so let your mind drift away, and it will be over before you realize it.

You got this.

[davina61]

My zapping lady turned her machine down to start with, not that it was that painful just under the nose bits. But she did have a very up to date machine. Relax it stings for a split second, she should pause a bit between zapps.

[Robbyv213]

Robby,

So sorry to hear that. But as Pema said, this is a setback, not a defeat. I suggest you try again. "No pain, no gain", right?

The worst pain I have ever felt was in a dentist's chair. I learned that I felt it more when I focused on what they were doing. You were worried about the pain, and your mind focused on that and amplified it.

I studied pain probably more than many doctors. It was the reason I got into hypnotherapy. I needed a way to manage my pain instead of popping Vicodin like popcorn. Pain is not physical. Pain is mental 100%. Nerve endings send the message to the brain, and the brain decides how bad it is. If you cut your finger, only a few nerves are affected, and the brain determines that it is not a severe injury. But if you break your leg, many nerves send the same message all at once. The brain receives all these messages and determines that the injury is severe.

Now think about a three-year-old kid who scrapes her knee. She cries like she is dying, right? The injury is very minor, but to her it is catastrophic. As an adult, that same scrape would be more of an annoyance. Your subconscious mind is in total control of the body. It digests your food, pumps your blood, and heals your wounds without you needing to think about it. That is the key. You don't need to think about it.

Try a little self-hypnosis trick. When they are ready to start, just close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Keep your breath calm and easy. Ignore anything that is going on around you. No one is touching you; they are touching a piece of cardboard in front of your face. Maybe the cardboard is touching your face, but that doesn't hurt, because it is numb. It is protecting you. Nothing is going on around you. You can ignore everything.

Focus on your breathing, and when you feel relaxed, imagine yourself somewhere else. Someplace that you would rather be. Fishing on the side of a beautiful lake, hiking through a cool forest, or sitting in a grassy field next to a small creek. Focus on that experience. Listen for the sound of the breeze rustling the trees. Notice that you can smell the trees and the grass. Can you hear the water in the creek? Try hard to focus on that. Really get into the experience of being there. Maybe you can feel the sun on your face, or a bit of a breeze that cools it. Focus on that.

Give your mind something else to think about. Whenever you need to, go back to focusing on your breathing. Relax and keep it calm and easy. Slow, deep breaths. You can do this. It is mind over matter, so let your mind drift away, and it will be over before you realize it.

You got this.

Yes I agree that pain in more mental than anything else, but now I am seeing feeling that I am more mentally weak in general than I used to think. Definitely a disgrace to the Marine corps for not being mentally and physically tough anymore.

[Lori Dee]

Yes I agree that pain in more mental than anything else, but now I am seeing feeling that I am more mentally weak in general than I used to think. Definitely a disgrace to the Marine corps for not being mentally and physically tough anymore.

"Argue for your limitations and, sure enough, they're yours."
― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

You can choose to be tough, or not.
I seriously doubt that you wimped out on the Obstacle Course in Basic Training. I know you have a toughness inside you that you can draw upon. It has gotten you this far. Please dig deep and draw on it again. It is an endless resource at your disposal, if you choose to use it.   

[Pema]

I have a somewhat different perspective. I'm no stranger to physical pain and other forms of extreme physical discomfort. My experience has been that what is typically thought of as "toughness," i.e. resistance can have the effect of worsening the impact of pain, because by being in opposition to the pain you give it greater attention and therefore greater power over you.

What I've found to be far more effective are surrender and acceptance. I have - at times very consciously - invited the pain in to join me on the journey. "Come in, be my friend." On nearly every occasion, the pain eventually gets bored with the lack of engagement and fades into the background.

I'm not saying this is easy to do if it's new for you. I mostly stumbled across the practice by trial and error as a child, but I've since discovered that has been plenty written about it and its benefits.

Mind you, when the laser lady hits my upper lip, I have tears rolling from my eyes - but I'm also laughing. The first time that happened, she said, "I always tell people, 'You can either cry or you can laugh.' Looks like you do both." Sure, it was painful, but it was also exactly what I wanted.

You can do this, Robin. Take your time, be kind to yourself, get yourself where you want to be in your heart and then your mind, and when you're ready, take the next effortless step.