What are the risks of being visibly androgynous?

[darksou]

I'd like to start presenting more ambiguously in gender since I'm nonbinary (neither male nor female). I still struggle doing that because I have body dysphoria, but I plan on starting small with makeup and a few accessories. Then go with clothes once I become more masculine in body. I'm currently on testosterone and plan on getting top surgery next year. Not sure when I'm going to afford phalloplasty, but I believe I will be okay enough to present in more feminine ways.

I'm brazilian, so you can tell it isn't safe for trans people. Still, I basically came out as a trans man, I'm not that safe anymore.

[Lilis]

Where I am from here in the United states some areas are safer or risker than others. I think the risk's would depend on the individual's location. You might have to explore and find some safe places where you feel comfortable there in Brazil.

I think you can't go wrong with going small. I am taking a similar approach but from the other side for a more feminine body, I am on spiro and estrogen. A year is not a very long time. The effects of testosterone might take some time to kick in to the results that you desire. Maybe talk to your health provider about this for some medical advice.

Check this area of the forum out Female to male transsexual talk (FTM), I think you might find somethings helpful there.

[Lori Dee]

I'd like to start presenting more ambiguously in gender since I'm nonbinary (neither male nor female). I still struggle doing that because I have body dysphoria, but I plan on starting small with makeup and a few accessories. Then go with clothes once I become more masculine in body. I'm currently on testosterone and plan on getting top surgery next year. Not sure when I'm going to afford phalloplasty, but I believe I will be okay enough to present in more feminine ways.

I'm brazilian, so you can tell it isn't safe for trans people. Still, I basically came out as a trans man, I'm not that safe anymore.

I am curious what makeup you are using. Are you using it to darken the beard area to look like stubble? I would think clothing would be the easiest way to start. Baggy tops and men's jeans would help hide your top and curves. Work boots could add to the look, as well as a men's wristwatch. Or would that be too masculine? I am just curious what look you are going for.

[Maid Marion]

It makes people nervous or uneasy if they can't determine your gender.  You may fall into what is known as the "uncanny valley."

Better would be to find safe places.  Typically better neighborhoods and more expensive stores where I live.

[Oldandcreaky]

darksou, it is my limited understanding that Brazil is pretty strict about gender roles. I, like Maid Marion, live in New England, but the gentle Maid and I take very different approaches to gender. I'm quite androgynous and fare just fine, but the gentle Maid enjoys femininity. I don't know if you'd have the same latitude in Brazil, but in liberal New England, a region in the United States, gender doesn't squish me.

[ChrissyRyan]

I suppose you may receive some double takes or glances as many seek an instant gender identification as they pass by.  By that, I mean I think this is instinctive behavior for people.  Some people may be too absorbed as they pass by; but, if they look at you they may take extra long glances.

No big deal probably. 

Then again, I want to look female as I am female and I want a positive female gender presentation.  I suppose before presenting female basically all the time I would want to wear a female top or bottom to help cope with my gender dysphoria and hoped no one would call me out on it.  That would be sort of androgynous but not really.  I suppose that could have caused some mixed perceptions.

Chrissy

[Maid Marion]

I had an androgynous presentation for decades and found I got treated much better as female.

Yesterday was shopping in the Asian Market and an older women backed her cart out of the way for me!
It is her upbringing, being taught to respect those who dress well.  She saw me from perhaps twenty feet away.  In many places folks don't dress well to go shopping but I find it makes a difference in how folks interact with you if you do.

Sloppy dressing is not a good look and people won't respect you.  I think you are better off wearing clothes that fit well no matter what you chose to present.

Marion

[ChrissyRyan]

Dressing well is important.  Not just for work in a professional setting, but in other everyday situations.

[Oldandcreaky]

Sloppy dressing is not a good look and people won't respect you.

That's a blanket statement, Marion, and that blanket doesn't cover everywhere. I live north of you, in a place where dressing up will mark you as a tourist or a summer person. Most of us dress down. My t-shirts in the summer and sweatshirts in the winter apparel aren't unusual here.

[Maid Marion]

That's a blanket statement, Marion, and that blanket doesn't cover everywhere. I live north of you, in a place where dressing up will mark you as a tourist or a summer person. Most of us dress down. My t-shirts in the summer and sweatshirts in the winter apparel aren't unusual here.

But, it is pretty accurate!
As you say, your area has a casual dress code! 

Not only that, folks judge you by how you dress!

[Lilis]

That's a blanket statement, Marion, and that blanket doesn't cover everywhere. I live north of you, in a place where dressing up will mark you as a tourist or a summer person. Most of us dress down. My t-shirts in the summer and sweatshirts in the winter apparel aren't unusual here.

^this... In my own opinion, I think dressing for the occasion is more appropriate.

[ChrissyRyan]

Dressing well, appropriate for the situation and culture, is important.

This does not mean you have to wear designer clothes, just clothes that make sense for the situation, which includes weather, the occasion, and so on.


Chrissy

[ChrissyRyan]

All in all, wear what is appropriate for the situation and what you like, and you should be okay.

Leave those wondering wondering, who cares if they are not bothering you?

[darksou]

Where I am from here in the United states some areas are safer or risker than others. I think the risk's would depend on the individual's location. You might have to explore and find some safe places where you feel comfortable there in Brazil.

I think you can't go wrong with going small. I am taking a similar approach but from the other side for a more feminine body, I am on spiro and estrogen. A year is not a very long time. The effects of testosterone might take some time to kick in to the results that you desire. Maybe talk to your health provider about this for some medical advice.

Check this area of the forum out Female to male transsexual talk (FTM), I think you might find somethings helpful there.

Oh, I'm actually 10 months on testosterone ans present in a very masculine way, but would like to show more femininity to come off as androgynous instead of just masculine.

[Lori Dee]

Oh, I'm actually 10 months on testosterone ans present in a very masculine way, but would like to show more femininity to come off as androgynous instead of just masculine.

Thank you for clarifying. I thought you were shooting for more masculine.

A lot of clothing and hairstyles are marketed as unisex. I think the key is going to be your ability to blend in. Men's clothing and bright makeup could make you a target. Keeping things neutral and low-key should help you achieve that balance and help keep you safe.

[darksou]

darksou, it is my limited understanding that Brazil is pretty strict about gender roles. I, like Maid Marion, live in New England, but the gentle Maid and I take very different approaches to gender. I'm quite androgynous and fare just fine, but the gentle Maid enjoys femininity. I don't know if you'd have the same latitude in Brazil, but in liberal New England, a region in the United States, gender doesn't squish me.

I'd say it depends a lot. There are some places here that are safer and I'm part of a trans community that meet each other sometimes, so I can have that.

[darksou]

I had an androgynous presentation for decades and found I got treated much better as female.

Yesterday was shopping in the Asian Market and an older women backed her cart out of the way for me!
It is her upbringing, being taught to respect those who dress well.  She saw me from perhaps twenty feet away.  In many places folks don't dress well to go shopping but I find it makes a difference in how folks interact with you if you do.

Sloppy dressing is not a good look and people won't respect you.  I think you are better off wearing clothes that fit well no matter what you chose to present.

Marion

Trans masculine people go for baggy mostly to hide their curves and chest (I will get rid of this problem with top surgery next year). I do my best to wear clothes that hides well my binders and it's usually a matter of choosing the right fabric for it. Thicker clothes work for it.

Also, I wish I was more respected as a woman, but I don't really miss that. I plan on experimenting with feminine clothes though.

[darksou]

Thank you for clarifying. I thought you were shooting for more masculine.

A lot of clothing and hairstyles are marketed as unisex. I think the key is going to be your ability to blend in. Men's clothing and bright makeup could make you a target. Keeping things neutral and low-key should help you achieve that balance and help keep you safe.

I will pay attention to that, but I already have some unisex (or feminine clothes that look unisex) and that won't be a good alternative for now.

Think going for some accessories would work for safety while I get top surgery? I'd like to use feminine clothes after that in safer spaces.

[Maid Marion]

I'd suggest a tank top with a built in bra if you are need of top surgery.  This may work as a binder without being so obvious.

Height is a big factor as well.  High heel boots can added much needed height.
The overall impression is what is important if you are trying to blend in.

No contrasting tops and bottoms.  They should match to give you a longer line and appearance of more height.

Proper fit is one size larger than what females normally wear.
My normal female size is XS.  If I'm presenting male it should be size small.
Folks notice if stuff doesn't fit properly.  If guy stuff doesnt' fit your curves, buy boyfriend styles that look like guy clothes but are cut to fit women. 
You can wear the same guy clothes over and over and over again.
Consider having guy clothes tailored to fit you.  Folks will notice that your clothes fit properly.

I assume you are shorter than the average guy.

If you are really tall you are really lucky. 
Clothes don't matter as much for guys that are big and tall.