Thank you, both. Chrissy, I don't.. personally. But I don't discount the possibility and that other people do, and that maybe it's a thing, so... thank you.
I hope you are right, Lori. Honestly... I don't want sympathy or anything okay? That makes me feel really... awkward. I am sure it will be okay and that I'll be apologising for making this thread in a few weeks. But my therapist insists that I need to not be like... well.. as I would put it "a camel's arse in a sandstorm." To talk about stuff because I am closed off most of the time. I am there for others but I never talk about my own stuff. Which is true. Because... I don't know. I always feel everyone else is more important. That I don't really matter. I dunno.
And this place means a lot to me. I might be slightly dosed up on painkillers at the moment so my eyes are probably screaming but I don't care. I can't feel it. Most of my internet stuff is like the darkest I can get, lol. Susan's is the light in the darkness. 😀