Life Of Michelle K

[Michelle_K]

I can say that I have autism, but it is not diagnosed. It just makes things harder for me. Maybe I didn't quite understand something right. When I had my first appointment at the veteran's health center, I tried to explain that I wanted to get a diagnosis for Autism, ADHD, and gender dysphoria. Maybe I didn't explain it right and my provider thought I already had the diagnosis for them. When my appointment was over, and test results known, I was told see you next year.

I thought maybe the therapy sessions would be like a walk-in, but got sent back to the main building where I started seeing a social worker. We were working on controlling my anxiety with my fidget toys that I already used to control my anxiety. I still don't have a diagnosis. It took a bit to finally get someplace with the gender dysphoria.
I end up driving about a 100 miles, I get lost on the freeway when I miss the turn at the freeway split, I have to park in a paid lot, and the machine refuses to give me a payment receipt when I leave the parking lot. Just wondering if all this cost is worth the saving on estrogen.

It seems easier to me to just drive the 15 miles to the local clinic, get all my tests done there and get my prescription. Actually the same person my second attempt for estrogen was for. The VA canceled my appointment when they found out she was not on their approved list.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

I think it is the final days for the JoAnn stores. Drove to one about 40 miles away only to find the hobby paint is gone, and no polymer clay. I was going to check for patterns, but somebody beat me to them. They were emptying the drawers into a shopping cart, grabbing all the patterns.
I did grab a few folding crates and some tools. I expect the store to be closed tomorrow (Easter), and expect to go to a closer store on Monday.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

I think back to the audiologist some thirty years ago, that told me that hearing aids would not help me. Currently listening to Bob Classic Vault on Total Country BOB-FM. I listen through the computer with a short stereo speaker bar under my video monitor.
For the first time I heard Dueling Banjos while wearing hearing aids. I am still amazed how the sound of the tic-tok from my clock changes when I put in my hearing aids. I think country/western music was easier for me to listen to due to mostly very little instrumental sound.

At one time my sister suggested that I learn sign language. I not deaf, just hearing impaired, so I heard my dad's response about me faking it. I suspect that a school hearing test was treated the same way.

I think it even changes how I hear classical music. A bit of Mozart. I still need to test movies, Less strain trying to understand what is being said should mean more enjoyment of the movie.

I once had considered how the quality of the sound affected my hearing. I had decided that the higher the quality of sound coming from my speakers the better I would understand, even though I was hearing impaired.
In other words my hearing impairment required a higher quality sound. That is why I have a sound bar on my tv and another on my computer. "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" was in my music folder.

The same rational was used before I got my cataracts removed. The requirement for high quality video resulted in a small sized 4K tv and a 4K player. My decision was helped along when a video I bought turned out to be 4K. It hasn't been a year yet since I got my eyes fixed and even less since I got the hearing aids. I think my brain is still adjusting to the eye operations, not quite tracking properly, although the computer screen seems to be focusing better.
Michelle

[Lori Dee]

I am still amazed how the sound of the tic-tok from my clock changes when I put in my hearing aids.

Ticking clocks drive me crazy, so mine is silent. But with hearing aids in, the turn signal when driving is much different... and annoying. Most of the time, I don't wear the hearing aids because most of the noise in and near my apartment are not things I want to hear. (Screaming kids, dogs barking, train horns, motorcycles on the highway, my refrigerator, humidifier, furnace.) We live in a very noisy society.

[Michelle_K]

I went on an unintended Easter egg hunt. I accidentally put the container of mini Cadbury creme eggs a little out of balance on top of my printer. They ended up on the floor, and went rolling. I did find them all and put them away for now.

Looking through my patterns, I do have the basic patterns, just need to do minor alterations to make them fit properly.
Did I mention I had my sewing machine on the kitchen table, and I had to go do something. When I got back my sewing machine kept jamming the thread. My mother said she didn't do anything. My sewing machine just sort of sat, not working properly. just a year or so ago, I downloaded a manual for it. It had a double loop around one part which increased the tension on the thread. After properly threading it, the machine works fine now. I suspect she did pick up the thread and make another wrap around that part. It makes me wonder about some other things. She would do things so that a project can't be completed, and later clam that the project was not completed due to laziness, proving that men are lazy.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

I made it to the closer JoAnn today. I got some more folding crates, smaller size. Found some paint and clay.
I didn't know about the patterns, apparently they don't belong to the store, so no discount. Just now reading from the website about the liquidators doubling the price, then give a 50 percent discount (sewing machines).

Reminds me of a bucket sale at some store. The 20 percent sale price was the same as the non sale price I saw at a different day.

I did get a few patterns, including capes, skirts and jeans.
Michelle 

[D'Amalie]

Cedar City store last Saturday.  I had Amazon app open while comparing prices.  No savings, excepting that there were probably things I wouldn't have considered with out laying eyes on them.  Still, all said nothing worth spending on.  the really good stuff is gone already.  Fleecing continues.

[Michelle_K]

I may have mentioned it before. I thought I mentioned autism, ADHD, and gender dysphoria to my VA provider at my first appointment. After my appointment, I was waiting for my referrals, only to find out no referrals were made. I did manage later to get a referral through the social worker. And then the insistence that I need to go through a endocrinologist for my hormones. Talk about depression, two appointments were canceled prior to this appointment. Of course I had anxiety, I drove for a hour and half, had to drive on the freeway, had to make sure I was in the proper lanes for the freeway splits, and I had no medication for my autism.

 I still don't have any prescriptions. From what I have been reading, I can forget about help from the VA for my gender dysphoria. Quite likely my referral for hormones has expired and won't be renewed.

I did send a message to my VA provider requesting a karyotype test for Klinefelter. The response I got was I needed to see a specialist, but no referral for a specialist.

I'm now thinking everything connected with gender including the karyotype test will have to go through the local clinic. Actually, with medicare, I don't need a referral.

Michelle

[Lilis]

I'm now thinking everything connected with gender including the karyotype test will have to go through the local clinic. Actually, with medicare, I don't need a referral.

Michelle,

It sounds like an exhausting and disheartening experience.

I hope things work out through Medicare or a local clinic that will honor and support your needs.




~ Lilis 💗

[D'Amalie]

You'll likely have better luck on the civilian side of the medical community.  My understanding from my medical  team is that if you are already under treatment, then you'll likely continue receiving it to the extent permitted.

The way around it may be through a therapist.  Maybe even through a VA therapist who's enlightened.  If you are having thoughts of self harm or have recurring thoughts and depression, the VA will hook you up with a therapist.  Suicide is such a big problem amongst Vets that you don't have to have imminent thoughts, just that you do have them.  Gaming the system is simply using the tools they give you.  Depression is another key into treatment.  You have to be diagnosed before the VA will do anything.  If the Klinefelter syndrome is causing you trouble, there are key medical indicators.  You'll just have to knowledgeable and present them to your medical team.  Remember, the VA won't ever initiate treatment.  You have to 'wag the dog.'  But the key into kingdom is through a therapist who can refer you internally though the VA system.

[D'Amalie]

After my appointment, I was waiting for my referrals,

Use the Secure Messaging app.  Send your expectations through to your PCM provider. 

[Lori Dee]

You'll likely have better luck on the civilian side of the medical community.  My understanding from my medical  team is that if you are already under treatment, then you'll likely continue receiving it to the extent permitted.

The way around it may be through a therapist.  Maybe even through a VA therapist who's enlightened.  If you are having thoughts of self harm or have recurring thoughts and depression, the VA will hook you up with a therapist.  Suicide is such a big problem amongst Vets that you don't have to have imminent thoughts, just that you do have them.  Gaming the system is simply using the tools they give you.  Depression is another key into treatment.  You have to be diagnosed before the VA will do anything.  If the Klinefelter syndrome is causing you trouble, there are key medical indicators.  You'll just have to knowledgeable and present them to your medical team.  Remember, the VA won't ever initiate treatment.  You have to 'wag the dog.'  But the key into kingdom is through a therapist who can refer you internally though the VA system.

Good points, D'Amalie!

[Michelle_K]

Remember, the VA won't ever initiate treatment.  You have to 'wag the dog.'  But the key into kingdom is through a therapist who can refer you internally though the VA system.

I didn't know I had to do it like a video game. But have to play it by their rules. I don't have that much experience with the medical system, as I only went to the doctor about every 10 years. That's what happens for having medical negligence growing up.

You have no idea do you. Watching the movie Captain Marvel where someone loses their eye. A scene like that shakes me up. My largest scar goes downward between my eyes. As a child I got into an argument with a raptor (rooster). I have a few scars on my forehead. Luckily, I did not lose any eyes, but still there was no doctor that checked it.

Another was a scene from one of the species movies. With the hay fork, Also the Frankenstein movie. It was not hard enough to puncture my legs, but my cousin has scars. My sister got away with it as I got punished.

We have a severe storm right now. I think I better post this before power goes out.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

Amazing, right after I post, everything quiets down.

The deal with the hay fork was that, due to the way the scene affected me, I was able to understand that I was not remembering what had really happened. I was remembering what I was told had happened.

Lets discover what it's like to shoot myself in the foot. First of all, it was an ice chisel. I was out on the river chopping a hole in the ice to water the cows. I might have moved and the chisel went through my boot. I continued cutting holes in the ice and took care of my other chores before going to the house for any first aid. My dad was almost there immediately, lecturing me about self injury to get out of doing my chores. I never got to a doctor, so no stitches.

Sorry, kind of rambling again. Just thinking that not caring enough to give me medical treatment, might he do other things that are not lethal.

I think I might have went a round about way to discover that I was taught that we never go to the emergency room.
Michelle

[Lori Dee]

We have a severe storm right now. I think I better post this before power goes out.

You are getting now what we got last night. The sky was lit up almost constantly, thunder rolling on and on. Then we got a bit of hail. Overall, it didn't last long. I think we missed the brunt of it. More rain today, but IT'S NOT SNOWING!!! 
 

[Lori Dee]

Amazing, right after I post, everything quiets down.

I was just watching a news coverage of the weather there. You got hit much worse than we did. We didn't have a tornado, and the hail was much smaller. Glad it calmed down and you are safe.

[Michelle_K]

I started in the morning with a notification on my computer that we were in a tornado watch. There was no notification to my phone. I put off my trip to the bank until tomorrow, when the 40 mile drive should be safer. Then trying to find something to do.

I end up doing the typical autistic thing of cleaning. Some Barbie stuff is in Joe's garage, take it upstairs. while upstairs check on a GI Joe vehicle, accessories might be in a box in the closet. Find Joe's tools in the box, bring them down to Joe's garage. Note that the 1/6th engine valve covers are on the wrong engines. Find a sea salt grinder in the garage, take it to the kitchen. run water through the coffee pot to get hot water to heat the plastic on the sea salt grinder, get the plastic top off the glass bottle.

Finally time to rest and sit in my chair. Run out of coffee, head to the kitchen to refill my cup. Go back to my chair and pick up my cup to refill it.

I've been going through a lot of stuff. trying to clean out Joe's garage to put the jeep trailer in for repairs. Going through boxes found the trailer lights, and now I have the glue to attach the lights. Found about 6 universal tv remotes, and a bunch of pneumatic cylinders. I didn't realize I cold pack so much stuff into the garage. And it is only 2 foot by 2 foot.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

I don't know if anybody else has driven through the pouring rain, and at some point the rain stops. In front of you is dry pavement. Look in the mirror and it is still pouring behind you.
Same as when I was driving to the twin cities for my appointment. I drove about 20 miles in thick fog and suddenly I had bright sunshine.

I was thinking the storm went south of where I am at.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

I started out today, got out of town and realized I forgot the checks. Turned around went back to the house and started over. Drove 30 miles to my first stop, renew and update/correct my driver's license. Used my veteran's health id to get veteran put on my driver's license. Everything else went fine. Drove another 10 miles to my bank. Deposited one check, and cashed another. Back to the storage unit, checked a couple of containers and found more photos. Then dropped off my monthly payment.

I got a bit of anxiety on the way to the license bureau. Got to thinking about asthma and anxiety. Just checked - Asthma and anxiety can share similar symptoms like shortness of breath and chest tightness.

Realized later that I forgot to let my hair down for my photo. At least this photo doesn't have a beard. I need to find a birth certificate to get the enhanced license.

Then 40 miles to crossroads mall in St Cloud. Found me some shoes. Then another 50 miles back home.
Michelle

[Michelle_K]

On the way back from St. Cloud, I saw that I was driving by a Hobby Lobby store. I think I will check it out next time I am in the area, unless it is Sunday. Hobby Lobby is closed on Sunday. It seem to me that on a weekday shortly after noon there would be less traffic to the stores, and more room in the parking lot.
The local Hobby Lobby did not have the 2mm sheet plastic that I wanted. I ordered it off of Ebay.

I come up with a crazy idea of finding my old leisure suits, and use them to make patterns. They were polyester. On second thought, after looking at one on Ebay, it would be best to leave it in the past. They had breast pockets but no lower pockets, and snapped up all the way to the neck. I'm still considering the idea of mixing with a jacket and jeans or skirt. At the time it seemed to me to be closer to a feminine stye without actually buying a feminine leisure suit.
Michelle