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My story

Started by Susan marcs, October 30, 2024, 02:34:09 AM

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Susan marcs

Hi ladies and gents this is my introduction story

I am a 60yr old gay man of 8 years who likes to dress up in womans clothes for the last 5 yrs  which is OK because old memories of me dressing up as a teenager ( many moons ago ) so I think it as always been there .
But in the last year dressing as a woman has become more intense I have always had man boobs as far bck as I can remember  and now I am wearing bra's and trying to shape my man boobs to stand out more like female breasts I am shavi ng my entire body to look more feminine.
Also I have recently been looking into hrt online and reading about it and being transgender  and then some days looking into gender neutral  ( bi gender )    I seem to be at a crossroads to which way to go
Crossdresser
Bi gender
Transgender
So I see this site Susan's place and thought I will have a look and see what it's all about read a few stories and see the responses
And here I am signing up and telling my story

Sarah B

Hello  Susan marcs

My name is Sarah B and I would like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

Thank you for sharing your personal story.  You are certainly not alone in feeling uncertain about your gender identity and many members here on Susan's Place have walked a similar path.

Even for me, as a young girl, I would try on my mum's clothes, yeah that really worked. Later, in my early 20s, I dressed fully as a young female and that longing only grew stronger over time.  Eventually, it became clear that I needed to change my life around.

The similarities between your story and mine are there and you will find many similar experiences shared here on Susan's Place.

I sense that you are at a crossroads, unsure of your identity whether it aligns with being a crossdresser, bigender, or transgender.  Seeking clarity with the support of a 'therapist' whether its a psychologist, psychiatrist or counsellor, can be extremely helpful for your well being.  You have taken the first steps by seeking out a supportive online community.

If you decide to pursue HRT, be sure to seek informed consent and keep in mind the long waiting lists if you choose the NHS route.  Going private is also an option to consider.  There are members here from the UK who are more familiar with these specific issues than I and if you ask, they will be happy to point you in the right direction.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the Introductions Forum, of course.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these as well.

Please review the links at the end of this message, especially the red links, they include information which will help you navigate the site and use the available features.  When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact, the Forum Admin Danielle Northern Star Girl alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Lori Dee
@Northern Star Girl
@Susan marcs



Things that you should read





Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.

ChrissyRyan

Hi Susan!


     Welcome!


Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 

TanyaG

Quote from: Susan marcs on October 30, 2024, 02:34:09 AMI am a 60yr old gay man of 8 years who likes to dress up in womans clothes for the last 5 yrs  which is OK because old memories of me dressing up as a teenager ( many moons ago ) so I think it as always been there
Welcome! There are quite a bunch of people here who waited a long time before allowing themselves permission to get to grips with gender, so you'll find plenty of empathy. Most folk with similar stories can remember episodes in their teens or earlier where their gender expression wasn't aligned with their sex aligned at birth too. Unless I've got it wrong you've also come out as gay eight years back? There'll be a bit to process in there but you can't enjoy life to the full unless you learn to love being who you naturally are and it sounds like you've taken several important steps along that road. So congrats.

Lori Dee

Hello Susan,

Welcome to Susan's Place and thank you for that introduction.

Gender can sometimes be confusing when we figure out where we fit in. And how we feel one day might be different the next.

My suggestion would be to seek out a therapist with experience in Gender Identities. They can help you explore this area of your life, answer questions you may have about what that means, and be there to help you if you encounter difficulty down the road.

I cannot stress enough how important this is. Researching on the internet is helpful, and we have a ton of resources right here. But meeting with a therapist face-to-face so you can discuss very personal details is so much more helpful. If you have read my story, you may know how I know this.

Welcome to the Forum. I look forward to seeing you around.

Lori Dee
Forum Staff
My Life is Based on a True Story
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete

Susan marcs

Quote from: Sarah B on October 30, 2024, 05:04:43 AMHello  Susan marcs

My name is Sarah B and I would like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

Thank you for sharing your personal story.  You are certainly not alone in feeling uncertain about your gender identity and many members here on Susan's Place have walked a similar path.

Even for me, as a young girl, I would try on my mum's clothes, yeah that really worked. Later, in my early 20s, I dressed fully as a young female and that longing only grew stronger over time.  Eventually, it became clear that I needed to change my life around.

The similarities between your story and mine are there and you will find many similar experiences shared here on Susan's Place.

I sense that you are at a crossroads, unsure of your identity whether it aligns with being a crossdresser, bigender, or transgender.  Seeking clarity with the support of a 'therapist' whether its a psychologist, psychiatrist or counsellor, can be extremely helpful for your well being.  You have taken the first steps by seeking out a supportive online community.

If you decide to pursue HRT, be sure to seek informed consent and keep in mind the long waiting lists if you choose the NHS route.  Going private is also an option to consider.  There are members here from the UK who are more familiar with these specific issues than I and if you ask, they will be happy to point you in the right direction.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the Introductions Forum, of course.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these as well.

Please review the links at the end of this message, especially the red links, they include information which will help you navigate the site and use the available features.  When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact, the Forum Admin Danielle Northern Star Girl alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Lori Dee
@Northern Star Girl
@Susan marcs



Things that you should read





Hi Sarah b thanks for your response I will look into therapy  as I think it might help me at my crossroads and we're and who I want to be . As for Hrt I won't do anything  till I know what I want and who I want to be  and I will look into hrt properly through the Nhs so thankyou
And as for similarities yes while I was reading posts on here I could see there was loads of us with similarities I think that's what made my mind up to sign up to Susan's place and the help and guidance you all give I hope I can live up to you girls and do the same in time .
As for more information on me  well you now I came out about 8yrs ago as a gay man I am married still to my wife of 37 yrs with 2 girls now all grown up with 4 grandchildren 
Me and the wife are more like good friends now . I am also in a relationship with another man
My hobbies are swimming walking and biking  , I live in London  if there is anything else you would like to know please just ask

Thankyou

Susan marcs


Sephirah

Quote from: Susan marcs on October 30, 2024, 02:34:09 AMHi ladies and gents this is my introduction story

I am a 60yr old gay man of 8 years who likes to dress up in womans clothes for the last 5 yrs  which is OK because old memories of me dressing up as a teenager ( many moons ago ) so I think it as always been there .
But in the last year dressing as a woman has become more intense I have always had man boobs as far bck as I can remember  and now I am wearing bra's and trying to shape my man boobs to stand out more like female breasts I am shavi ng my entire body to look more feminine.
Also I have recently been looking into hrt online and reading about it and being transgender  and then some days looking into gender neutral  ( bi gender )    I seem to be at a crossroads to which way to go
Crossdresser
Bi gender
Transgender
So I see this site Susan's place and thought I will have a look and see what it's all about read a few stories and see the responses
And here I am signing up and telling my story

Welcome to the site, sweetie. There is no wrong answer. You are who you are. What we aim to do here is allow you to express who you are. Whoever that is. Free from judgement.

You get to choose. :)

Dive in and explore what people are saying. There's a wealth of information.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3

Susan marcs

Quote from: TanyaG on October 30, 2024, 06:40:30 AMWelcome! There are quite a bunch of people here who waited a long time before allowing themselves permission to get to grips with gender, so you'll find plenty of empathy. Most folk with similar stories can remember episodes in their teens or earlier where their gender expression wasn't aligned with their sex aligned at birth too. Unless I've got it wrong you've also come out as gay eight years back? There'll be a bit to process in there but you can't enjoy life to the full unless you learn to love being who you naturally are and it sounds like you've taken several important steps along that road. So congrats.
Hi Tanya G thankyou for your kind words and yes I understand there is some late developers by reading g so.e of the posts it's been quite  eye opener and very helpful in knowing your not alone in this journey of self discovery  .

And yes I have also come out as gay about years ago now but that was a bad journey which took some time to come to terms with and near the end I thought about taking my life one day were I got into a very dark place , but I looked at my girls and thought in need help  and the next day a group like this for gay men and women  and they helped by just telling my story  and listening to there experiences
So yes a double wammy with my gender issues now but  I know not to go to that dark place again and just to do what make me feel good .

And that is why I came on here to speak to you girls

So thankyou
  •  

Susan marcs

Quote from: Lori Dee on October 30, 2024, 08:32:42 AMHello Susan,

Welcome to Susan's Place and thank you for that introduction.

Gender can sometimes be confusing when we figure out where we fit in. And how we feel one day might be different the next.

My suggestion would be to seek out a therapist with experience in Gender Identities. They can help you explore this area of your life, answer questions you may have about what that means, and be there to help you if you encounter difficulty down the road.

I cannot stress enough how important this is. Researching on the internet is helpful, and we have a ton of resources right here. But meeting with a therapist face-to-face so you can discuss very personal details is so much more helpful. If you have read my story, you may know how I know this.

Welcome to the Forum. I look forward to seeing you around.

Lori Dee
Forum Staff
Hi Lori Dee
Thankyou for your kind words and I agree that a therapist help would be a good idea so I have started looking into it .
And yes this gender identity can be confusing  at times like you say different every day but will hopefully get to were and who I want to be .
So thankyou
  •  
    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

Susan marcs

Quote from: Sephirah on October 31, 2024, 07:25:45 PMWelcome to the site, sweetie. There is no wrong answer. You are who you are. What we aim to do here is allow you to express who you are. Whoever that is. Free from judgement.

You get to choose. :)

Dive in and explore what people are saying. There's a wealth of information.
Hi Sephirah thankyou for you kind words and like the name

Hope to speak again soon
  •  

TanyaG

#11
Quote from: Susan marcs on November 02, 2024, 01:43:33 AMI know not to go to that dark place again and just to do what make me feel good
Don't lose sight of how who you are hasn't changed - that person is still worth loving and remains the same whatever your gender or sexual preferences are. The trouble is we are taught that who we are, our gender experession and our sexuality are bound together, but as you'll know, they are not. Once you untangle the three, you can still be you, and worth loving for your personality, but you be happy being whatever and wherever your sexuality and gender expression take you. Nail this and the rest of your journey will be a joy.
  •  
    The following users thanked this post: Lilis

Susan marcs

Quote from: TanyaG on November 02, 2024, 09:48:58 AMDon't lose sight of how who you are hasn't changed - that person is still worth loving and remains the same whatever your gender or sexual preferences are. The trouble is we are taught that who we are, our gender experession and our sexuality are bound together, but as you'll know, they are not. Once you untangle the three, you can still be you, and worth loving for your personality, but you be happy being whatever and wherever your sexuality and gender expression take you. Nail this and the rest of your journey will be a joy.
Tanya g those words are so true as I am finding out because I'm going through this transformation in myself but the hardest part is unless you go through it no one understands really .
And I will try and nail this and just be me   thankyou
  •  
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Susan marcs

I would just like to add to my introduction story

As you now I'm a 60 Yr old gay man who came out about 8 yrs ago and it was very hard to tell my wife and girls but we finally got there wife was not to pleased at the time which was understandable  my eldest daughter was OK about it but don't like to talk about me being gay she changes subject all the time  but my youngest she was great stands by me all the time .

So I have told my youngest daughter of 32 now as per she is fine with my gender issue's  my wife who I still live with but just as close friends knows and is OK but I have not said anything to my other daughter yet as I don't think will take it well but I will have to as soon as I know which gender direction I will be taken  whether it be transgender, bi gender ,or just crossdresser


I wear womans underwear all the time I wear nail varnish all the time every now and then I go the full way and dress to impress but only in doors or out in my bck garden . I have only ventured out once fully dressed as Susan but that was away from my home town  and I went to an lgbtq+drag show concert queenz I felt great nervous but great and can't wait to do it again  thanks for listening  there might be more
  •  
    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

TanyaG

Quote from: Susan marcs on November 03, 2024, 01:03:05 AMSo I have told my youngest daughter of 32 now as per she is fine with my gender issue's  my wife who I still live with but just as close friends knows and is OK but I have not said anything to my other daughter yet as I don't think will take it well but I will have to as soon as I know which gender direction I will be taken  whether it be transgender, bi gender ,or just crossdresser
In a way the earlier you let everyone know, the longer they have to process it. Be prepared for people to take it amiss at first but then to come around as they realise they value the relationship they have with the real you. I think it is worth explaining to everyone why you've reached the decisions you have and why you've reached them now and not, say 15 years ago, or whatever. Mostly, those of us who delay coming out do so because we don't want to upset people we love and it can be a good way of affirming that love in a way that they can understand and value.

I guess the other thing to remember is there is always pressure on to go for SRS because it makes it easier to align our gender expression, but if you are still processing where you are on the trans spectrum, it is worth waiting and working through where you want to be at the finish.

It sounds like you've handled your relationships pretty well so far and that you have a fairly understanding family. That speaks volumes for how good you must be to know.
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