My wife is getting a lot of attention!

[myChai]

So here's an interesting take on some new experiences my wife has been having. She's socially transitioned for about 3 years now and on HRT for 16 months, no surgeries; so still at the beginning of her transition and she is very beautiful. So she's been getting more and more attention from men when out and about, men asking for her number when she's by herself, checking her out and doing double takes.
I'm with her at a trade show in Seattle and some rep is chatting us up, "swears he must know her from somewhere, is her name ____, looks just like his friend from the past", and saying she's very beautiful just like her.... and there I am with a huge grin on my face; never in my life did I think I could just stand by some man doing light social flirting with my wife and actually be be ecstatic on her behalf but I was.

I'm sure these experiences will get stale eventually but to see or hear about random men flirting with her makes me so happy for her, she's not just passing, she's thriving and I know this is what she's always wanted.

I never thought I'd be secure about this but I am; we love each other very much and I mean that in a deeply mature way; the kind of love that I have total confidence in and I trust her.

Is this a bizarre take? Yea I think so! I'm a bit surprised about my own feelings and reactions to it. Little do those thirsty men know that they're enabling her to experience genuine womanhood and I'm really happy for her.

[Lori Dee]

I think that shows a clear level of love and trust that overcomes any hint of jealousy. That is precious. Plus the two of you can laugh at the foolishness of cads like that. 

I love it.

[UUtransspouse]

Hi,

I don't think it's a bizarre take at all - it's very loving. I think I would feel the same way. Although cis guys can be creepy in hitting on women, it is a compliment to her ability to pass, which is a wonderful milestone. I guess I hope that for my husband, too.

When did you start referring to her as your wife if you were married before she came out? My husband just learned he has gender dysphoria last year and I had no clue during the 54 years we have been together (married 46 yrs. - oops, put the wrong number on my introduction). Pronouns are hard enough, but referring to him/her/them as "wife" seems impossible. He/she/they currently does not plan to take hormones due to his/her/their age and our sex life, so definitely not surgery. I knew life would change during retirement, but I didn't expect this. I'd be pleased to learn more about your experiences.

[Lori Dee]

Hi!

I have been married three times (widowed once and two divorces), but all of these were pre-transition. It was after I divorced wife #3 that I decided to get into therapy to find out what was wrong with me. It is hard to blame everyone else when I was the common denominator. It was through this therapy that I learned that I had gender dysphoria.

I didn't understand it at first. But as I learned what this meant, I began to see patterns of how this affected my behaviors, which ultimately affected my relationships. (My story is linked below if you want to read it.)

The hardest part of name and pronoun change came from relatives and people who knew me for a long time pre-transition. Most of them still struggle with it, but I give them credit for trying (the ones that do try, anyway).

I think the thing to understand is that a transition of any amount is not mandatory. It boils down to how much the dysphoria disrupts one's life. Some members are content with a little cross-dressing. Some have found that dressing up at home works well. Some feel a strong urge for more physical changes, so they opt for hormones or surgery. This is all tempered by their relationship with their spouse. Some spouses are very supportive and loving, and they find ways to adapt. Others have reported that their spouses found the situation unbearable. And, of course, everything in between!

Check out the Significant Others forum and read some of the stories of how these marriages survived. I think you have a very good chance of being in that category simply because you care enough to come here and learn.  🙂

[Moonflower]

So sorry that I missed all of your posts until now. I, too, came to this forum to support my wife's transition. I, too, am loving being her trans ally. I'm glad you're here and would love to hear more about what you're experiencing, if you want to share anything.