Need help with my son transitioning

[DomingoAgosto]

My 14-year-old son is transitioning, and I want to support him in the best way possible. However, I feel uninformed about how to meet his needs and navigate this journey. I've done a lot of research but still feel uncertain about the right steps to take.

I was referred to Dr. Daniel Shumer in Michigan but haven't reached out yet.
I'd love input from those with experience—especially on whether it's the right time to connect with the doctor and how to best support my son during this process. I'm feeling overwhelmed and would truly appreciate any guidance.

[Lori Dee]

Hello Domingo,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

Thank you for joining the forum and contributing to the discussions.

We strive to make this a safe place to find information and share your thoughts and comments. Our members come from all over the world and have a wide range of experiences. No matter who you are, you are always welcome at Susan's Place.

My first suggestion would be for you and your son to seek out a therapist or psychologist with experience in gender identities. Not only can they help you two find the answers you seek, but they can help with the transition process as well. It is good that you are set up with Dr. Shumer as he can prescribe and monitor hormone therapy if that is indicated. Very often, an endocrinologist will first want a therapist or mental health professional to reach a diagnosis of gender dysphoria. The reason is to make certain that this is the path your son wants to travel, as many changes become permanent. Hormone Therapy is a treatment for Gender Dysphoria, so no diagnosis could mean no hormones will be prescribed.

I applaud you for being supportive and trying to help your child. Part of that process will involve both of you understanding what gender dysphoria is and what is available to help ease the symptoms.

We want to get to know you. Once you feel comfortable here, please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum, introduce yourself and tell us something about you.

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@DomingoAgosto
@Sarah B
@Northern Star Girl

[ChrissyRyan]

Welcome Domingo.

I hope you get the comments you seek. 

Chrissy

[KathyLauren]

input from those with experience—especially on whether it's the right time to connect with the doctor

Hi, Domingo.  Welcome.  And thank you for wanting to support your son.

The right time to contact the doctor would be now.  You don't have to do anything with the doctor yet, if your son is not ready for those steps, but he will be able to tell you what the steps are and when they will be needed.

If you have any specific questions about how to support your son, feel free to ask them here.  There are lots of experienced people who can answer most questions.

[Sarah B]

Hi Domingo

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

Thank you for reaching out with such genuine concern for your daughter.  It's evident that you  are a loving and supportive parent, which is one of the most crucial things she needs right now.  She's really fortunate to have you by her side during this time.

At 14, she may already be experiencing puberty, or it could start very soon if it hasn't yet.  This is a critical moment to seek medical advice because puberty brings about permanent physical changes that might not match her gender, which could intensify feelings of gender dysphoria.  If she's considering puberty blockers or other treatments, it's essential to get in touch with a qualified medical professional as soon as possible.

You're absolutely on the right track being informed, supportive, and open minded about her needs is key.  A therapist with experience in gender identity can be invaluable, both for her and for you.  They can help guide the next steps, ensure she gets the right care, and provide emotional support throughout this journey.  Dr.  Daniel Shumer I hear is highly regarded in this area, and reaching out to him or another qualified provider would be a positive move.

Most importantly, keep the lines of communication open with your daughter.  Talk to her about how she feels, what she needs, and what might make her feel more at ease.  Knowing she has your love and support will significantly impact her journey.

You're doing a fantastic job, and even though this process might seem overwhelming at times, you're not alone.  There are plenty of resources and people who can help guide both you and your daughter toward a future where she can truly feel happy and at peace with herself.  Trust your instincts, and don't hesitate to seek professional help whenever you feel it's necessary.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.   I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@DomingoAgosto

[ChrissyRyan]

Domingo,

I knew that some comments would be posted soon.  Keep returning and you perhaps will see more.

Chrissy

[DomingoAgosto]

Thank you @Sarah B for your insight and thoughtfulness in your response.  I am happy to know you think Dr. Shumer is a good choice.  If you know anything more about him, I would appreciate your input.  You are welcome to message me privately or send me an email.

Respectfully,

Domingo

[Sarah B]

Hi Domingo

You are most welcome and I hope things are going well with you and your daughter.

In regards to your message:

Thank you @Sarah B for your insight and thoughtfulness in your response.  I am happy to know you think Dr. Shumer is a good choice.  If you know anything more about him, I would appreciate your input.  You are welcome to message me privately or send me an email.

Respectfully,

Domingo

I only know as much as you do and a google search allowed me to assemble a personal bio on Dr Shumer.

Dr. Daniel E. Shumer is a Clinical Associate Professor of Pediatrics at Michigan Medicine, specializing in pediatric endocrinology. He serves as the Medical Director of the Gender Services Program and Fellowship Director in Pediatric Endocrinology. Dr. Shumer earned his bachelor's degree from Northwestern University in 2003.

His clinical interests include transgender medicine, disorders of sex development, and Prader-Willi syndrome.

Dr. Shumer treats conditions such as Type 1 diabetes, growth hormone deficiency, hypopituitarism, short stature, adrenal gland diseases, and precocious puberty.

In addition to his clinical work, Dr. Shumer has contributed to research on gender-affirming care and has been involved in educational initiatives to improve care for transgender and nonbinary patients.

It is important for you to find out and verify the credentials of Dr Shumer for yourself.

If you live Michigan then Michigan has implemented laws to protect transgender people, including anti-discrimination measures that address gender identity in areas like employment, housing, and public services.  The state also permits individuals to change their gender markers on ID documents without needing to undergo surgery.

Given these advancements and Michigan is a safe state, experiences can differ depending on where one lives even in Michigan and there are ongoing challenges, such as obtaining healthcare and gaining social acceptance.

So please take care and I wish you all the best for the future.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

[DomingoAgosto]

Thank you @Sarah B for your continued support and recommendations.  Your last post is very informative.  It is so nice to have educated input since I am such a novice in this.  I appreciate everything.  Thanks again!

Respectfully,

Domingo