My advice is always the same for those just getting started:
STEP 1: Start seeing a therapist or psychologist with experience in gender identities.
They can answer questions and provide information and guidance to help you figure these things out. The final decision about what to do and how to do it is yours and yours alone. But they can help with things like explaining to family and friends what you are going through and why a certain course of action is the correct one. You and your wife can even attend sessions together if you like. That allows her to hear your questions, so she understands what is on your mind and the answers to those questions, and ask her own questions. That helps her get the answers she needs to understand, and it helps you understand what is on her mind.
From there, it is a matter of deciding what you want to do and when. There is no rush to do anything. I spent two years in therapy just trying to figure out what all of this meant and how it would affect my life. But once I had a good understanding, I was able to decide to embrace the idea that this is who I am. From there, my transition was handed over to the medical side, and I began hormone therapy.
Now, five years later, I still see my psychologist because she helps me deal with things that I continue to experience, as well as things like the current political climate here in the U.S.
